Great for a Monday LOL !!!
Words fail me . . .
ping
Thanks! I enjoy a good joke. This is one.
Lmao, awesome.
good joke
Nasty.
An Air Force officer goes to heaven and at the gate St Peter asks him if he has ever done anything in his life that he believes makes him worthy of admittance to heaven.
The officer flyboy replies," Yes, I once went into a bar with four of my pilot friends and saw two Seabees harassing a young girl at the bar, so being a gentleman I went up to the biggest one and told him to leave this young lady alone. When he refused I told him again more forcefully. This time I slapped him across the face and told this Seabee to stand down."
St Peter said this was a very good thing to do and asked when the pilot did this great act.
The pilot replied, "About 5 minutes ago! My friends should be here shortly!"
Now I'm reminded of the old Marine,Army urinal joke.
If it were a Middle-Eastern squirrel, would it have had a pair of panties on it's head? ;)
The airman looked the pilot in the eye and said, "sir, I don't have any stripes. It's 1:00 a.m. and I'm standing here in a blizzard in Thule Greenland pumping out a septic tank. How are you going to punish me?"
A grade school teacher asks “Little Johnny” to tell the class a story with a moral.
Little Johnny tells a story about his Uncle Ted who was in the 82nd airborne. On one trip Uncle Ted’s plane was hit and going down and Uncle Ted was the only one without a parachute. The only thing Ted could grab was his weapon and a case of beer.
Ted jumps out and starts slamming beers and lands in the jungle. Being a tough guy, Ted jumps up and starts attacking the enemy. When he runs out of bullets he grabs his knife and continues to wipe out the enemy. After his knife breaks off he starts taking them on bare-handed and came back a hero.
The teacher gives Johnny a smirk and asks “So what’s the moral of the story?”
Little Johnny says “Don’t F$%# with Uncle Ted when he’s been drinking!”
LOL!
Bump hoping for memory return
One day, a Colonel, a Lieutenant and a Warrant Officer were hiking and unexpectedly came upon a large raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do so.
The Warrant Officer called out to God, praying, "Please God, give me the strength to cross this river." Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across the river. It did, however, take him about two hours, and he almost drowned a couple of times.
Seeing this, the Lieutenant prayed to God, saying, "Please God, give me the strength and the tools to cross this river." Poof! God gave him a rowboat. He was able to row across the river in about an hour, but it was rough, and he almost capsized the boat a couple of times.
The Colonel had seen how things worked out for the other two, so when he prayed to God, he said, "Please God, give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross this river."
And poof! God turned him into a NCO. He looked at the map, hiked upstream a couple of hundred yards, and then walked across the bridge.
*cough*