[SerpentDove]

I forget the skit, but one character asks Johnny:

"Ubangi?"
"Ubetcha!"

[StoneColdTaxHater]

The Old Spice Sailor sketch

[Larry Lucido]

It's not always the line, it's the delivery.

Johnny as David Carradine Kung Fu character: I come from Peking.

You come from Peking in China?

No, I come from Peking in your window.

[Robe]

Most Appropate for our northern neighbors today....

Johnny.........."Wow, It sure Is cold today"
ED.............."How cold was it"
Johnny.........."I saw a dog stuck to a telephone pole"

Sissssss Boom

[Safrguns]

Wow!.... and I thought I was old.
How longs it been since he quit?

[kayak]

To me, the very funniest moment ever on tv was Ed Ames, as Mingo, demonstrating his tomahawk-throwing skills. It was Johnny's reaction that made an otherwise funny event absolutely hilarious.

[veronica]

When Saturday Night Live hit the airwaves, and everyone was talking about Chevy Chase having a late night talk show that would compete with The Tonight Show, Carson said... "Chevy Chase couldn't ad lib a fart after a baked-bean dinner."

:)

[Central Scrutiniser]

I remember once someone asked him on his show if he ever had a word of advice, and he said "Never pet a dog that is on fire"

I've always loved that quote, it was my sig line for a long time.

[deadhead]

My Favorite...

A typical Carson moment occurred on October 16, 1987.
Carson always took a special delight in people with
eccentric hobbies, and on this night he had a guest named
Myrtle Young from Fort Wayne, Indiana, whose hobby was
collecting potato chips that looked like other objects -
an angry dog, a sleeping bird, a candle . . .

While Myrtle proudly showed off her fine (and fragile)
collection, Ed McMahon distracted her momentarily and as
she was turned away there was a resounding "crunch" from Carson.
All eyes turned to the host who has just bitten into a potato chip!

Myrtle is in a state of shock, clutching her chest with her
mouth agape and her eyes wide with shock and betrayal.
How could Johnny munch one of her works of art?!?
Ever the grand-master of timing, Carson allowed the gag
to play out for a while before assuring Myrtle and reaching down
to hold up a big bowl of chips he had behind his desk in
preparation for the prank. The laughter went on for several minutes

[Chuck54]

One of my favorites:

Name what offence someone should automatically get the death sentence:

Johnny: Whoever told squirrels they were good at crossing the road!

[wideminded]

"Have you heard about the Jerry Falwell doll?"

"You wind it up and it goes around and pokes its nose into everyone's business."

[Lx]

Damn, I was just saying that to my wife. It's the only Carnack I could remember because it's so damn funny.

[manic4organic]

The only one I remember is from Carnac.

Ed: Yassir Arafat

Johnny: Yassir Arafat

(envelope opening)

Johnny: What's the sound made when Dolly Parton removes her bra?

[Hillarys Gate Cult]

Sorry to take this thread off the anti smoking subject but there was one show where Doc came out wearing the most outrageous multi colored clothes. Johnny took one look at him and said "Rubiks suit?"

[Redleg Duke]

Ed Ames and the tomahawk!

[OKSooner]

I'm sure it's already been posted, but:

"...and I didn't even know you were Jewish!"

[ForegoneAlternative]

"May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits."

"May the rowboat of your life break apart mid-lake, and may your mother cease to find help as she runs barking along the shore..."

[Theresawithanh]

Thanks for starting this thread and taking me for a pleasing walk down memory lane, and thanks to all the posters for their memories, too.

Johnny Carson, RIP.

[MissouriConservative]

bump for later laughter

[anymouse]

"I did not know that." :)

R.I.P. Mr. Carson