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Your Favorite Johnny Carson Joke?
Free Republic Vanity Kind-of ^
| 01/23/2005
| gortklattu
Posted on 01/23/2005 11:57:30 AM PST by gortklattu
Just the Jokes, OK?
Johnny: "Sis - Boom - Bah
ED: "Sim - boom - bah
Johnny: What sound does an exploding sheep make?
TOPICS: News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: johnny; johnnycarson
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To: Rebelbase
Right!
AND,
SUCH a !FUN! way to go!
Soooooooooooo worthy defending out the kazooooo!
61
posted on
01/23/2005 12:30:25 PM PST
by
Quix
(HAVING A FORM of GODLINESS but DENYING IT'S POWER. 2 TIM 3:5)
To: Numbers Guy
"Sure. Move the cat".We have a winner!
62
posted on
01/23/2005 12:30:30 PM PST
by
NeoCaveman
(Problem hotline: to cope with PEST press 1, to yell we're all doomed press 2)
To: Trout-Mouth
63
posted on
01/23/2005 12:31:29 PM PST
by
My2Cents
To: SheLion
He smoked to much, drank too much, but also married too much.
To: jimt
TRIBUTE SONG - yes, it has in it the line about kissing his balls.
65
posted on
01/23/2005 12:33:14 PM PST
by
doug from upland
(THE RED STATES - celebrate a great American tradition)
To: My2Cents
What is that suppose to mean?
To: SheLion
He may have a different perspective of how good his life was from his current vantage point.
Eternity puts a lot of things in a different perspective.
67
posted on
01/23/2005 12:33:48 PM PST
by
Quix
(HAVING A FORM of GODLINESS but DENYING IT'S POWER. 2 TIM 3:5)
To: Petronski; Numbers Guy; NorCalRepub
Numbers Guy;
"Sure. Move the cat".
NorCalRepub;
petting the pussy is my fav.........wasn't that Ann Margaret......
An American In Dairyland;
Zza Zza! I was just thinking about that one! LOL!
Petronski;
Best.
Line.
Ever.
Actually, it was supposedly said to Zza Zza, but as far as I can find out it never happened (or was cut and has never surfaced).
However, on the best of Carson videos (I'm watching as I type) Jane Fonda asks Johnny if the story is true and proceeds to tell the whole story.
68
posted on
01/23/2005 12:35:06 PM PST
by
Phsstpok
("When you don't know where you are, but you don't care, you're not lost, you're exploring.")
To: discostu
Mine was when an earthquake happened during the show and Johnny looked into the camera and deadpanned..."The God is dead meeting has been canceled".
69
posted on
01/23/2005 12:36:34 PM PST
by
Texasforever
(It's hard to kiss the lips at night that chew your butt out all day long.)
To: gortklattu
Wow!.... and I thought I was old.
How longs it been since he quit?
70
posted on
01/23/2005 12:37:20 PM PST
by
Safrguns
To: gortklattu
To me, the very funniest moment ever on tv was Ed Ames, as Mingo, demonstrating his tomahawk-throwing skills. It was Johnny's reaction that made an otherwise funny event absolutely hilarious.
71
posted on
01/23/2005 12:38:56 PM PST
by
kayak
(Have you prayed for your President today?)
To: My2Cents
Rodney Dangerfield: "Johnny, how long have you and Ed McMahon been together?"
Johnny: "I guess it's been about ten years now."
Rodney Dangerfield: "Wow, that is a long time...any children?"
Johnny: "It's not that we haven't TRIED!!!"
To: Safrguns
Oh geez... just turned on the news... didn't know he just died
73
posted on
01/23/2005 12:39:21 PM PST
by
Safrguns
To: Robe
I liked the one where Racquel Welch got up and walked out on him. She brought her cat on stage with her, she sat down and put the cat in her lap. She asked Johnny if he would like to pet her pussy. Johnny said that her sure would if she would move the damn cat. Johnny got sued and Racquel never went back on his show again.
Someone else might have already posted this, I didn't read all of the other posts.
74
posted on
01/23/2005 12:40:56 PM PST
by
oldenuff2no
(Proud Nam Vet)
To: gortklattu
When Saturday Night Live hit the airwaves, and everyone was talking about Chevy Chase having a late night talk show that would compete with The Tonight Show, Carson said... "Chevy Chase couldn't ad lib a fart after a baked-bean dinner."
:)
75
posted on
01/23/2005 12:42:10 PM PST
by
veronica
(Got a script? Go here - http://www.filmmonterey.org/screenwriting.html)
To: conservativebabe
Yep...one night they were letting some bug crawl on his hand and the guest handler said that there were two breeds of the bug and the deadly one could fly and the harmless one couldn't......
At that point the bug flew up on Carsons forehead and the ca ca hit the fan as he scrambled....... I cried I laughed so hard at that panic....sort'a a sh*t'n go blind fear moment that is really funny if it wasn't me !
76
posted on
01/23/2005 12:46:01 PM PST
by
Squantos
(Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet. ©)
To: Phsstpok
It wasn't Zsa Zsa, it was [gasp] Jane Fonda.
She did not have a cat with her, but she alluded to that idea.
Yes, I have seen the clip. It happened.
77
posted on
01/23/2005 12:46:04 PM PST
by
Petronski
(Dayword: Cottonmouth)
To: Lonesome in Massachussets
I don't usually check snopes.com on stories my mother told me thirty years ago.
I guess I'll have to start !
78
posted on
01/23/2005 12:48:20 PM PST
by
jimt
To: Kenny500c
I thought the response was 'I bet that makes his putter flutter.'
To: Petronski
again, I just watched it. He didn't say it to Jane Fonda and she didn't have a cat with her. Jane Fonda said her son had told her the story and she asked if it were true. She told the whole story.
Johnny died.
80
posted on
01/23/2005 12:55:34 PM PST
by
Phsstpok
("When you don't know where you are, but you don't care, you're not lost, you're exploring.")
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