Posted on 01/15/2005 4:12:09 PM PST by FormerACLUmember
Those two Long Island men who say they were arrested for telling lawyer jokes at a Nassau County courthouse (see yesterday's post) were soon deluged with offers by lawyers to represent them for free. Reports Newsday:
"Barbara Bernstein, executive director of the Nassau chapter of the New York Civil Liberties Union, said she found the arrests "bewildering" and she called the men yesterday to determine whether the organization could help. "It's just bewildering and preposterous that they should be arrested for telling lawyer jokes," Bernstein said. "What's the violation of law here?" (Zachary R. Dowdy, "Lawyers offer help after pair's anti-lawyer joke arrest", Newsday, Jan. 13). The two men, Harvey Kash, and Carl Lanzisera, have now accepted an offer of representation by radical attorney and New York radio personality Ron Kuby. ("Kuby takes jokers' case", Jan. 14).
The question yet remains: Will this trial become a joke?
This is gonna get good...
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Dakota.
He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the United States and if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own!"
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in North Dakota. We settle small disagreements like this with the "Three Kick Rule.'"
The lawyer asked, "What is the Three Kick Rule?"
The farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on back and forth until someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger.
He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney.
His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees.
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth.
The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get onto his feet.
Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old coot. Now it's my turn."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the duck."
Its obviously a hate crime, anyone who has half a brain can see that.
/sarcasm
This is indeed getting very interesting! The lawyers who complained about the jokes showed themselves to be total @sses. This'll be fun to follow!
Stop me if you've heard this one before...
There were these 2 guys telling lawyer jokes when suddenly this lawyer overhears them. He has them arrested.
Our legal system is a joke.
How can you tell if a lawyer is lying?
An engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day God calls Satan on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?" Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gone down there; send him up here." Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him." God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue." Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
A: To keep their foreskin pulled back.
(Told to me by a good friend, who is regrettably a lawyer.)
his mouth is open
Three surgeons take a day off for a game of golf.
The first surgeon says, "I think accountants are the easiest patients to operate on because when you open them up everything is in order."
The second surgeon says, "No, electricians are easiest. When you open them up, everything is color-coded."
The third surgeon, the most senior of the three, then offers his sage opinion. "You're both wrong. Lawyers are the easiest patients to operate on, because when you open them up, you find that they are gutless, heartless, and spineless, and their heads and their asses are interchangeable."
His lips are moving.
pingalingaling!
read later
Its obviously a hate crime, anyone who has half a brain can see that.
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Nope... it's a hate lawers crime, anyone who has the other half a brain can see that. ;-))
Heard any good lawyer jokes lately?
What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
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A rottweiler.
This could be fun.
LMAO!--How long have you been waiting to use that one?
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