Posted on 01/14/2005 9:56:03 PM PST by neverdem
We don't.
I think the ideal scenario is to have kids while you are relatively young and save your career for later. For years, while our kids were small, we arranged to be home for them and didn't make a whole lot of money. But they were great years and I'll never want to do it differently. Now that the kids are pretty much grown up, the both of us can focus on our careers (and pay for all that college!). Having your kids grown up when you are still in your mid-40s is a beautiful thing. I do not envy at all those in my peer group who are just now starting to have kids (in their 40s). Having little ones running around when you are in your 50s and 60s just doesn't appeal to me. But to each their own.
It is sad when women who wanted kids hit against their "biological clock." I know a few women like that and I feel badly for them. They are just not very happy people.
Amen brother!
While it isn't stated often as a public policy it is tacitly accepted worldwide and still practiced in less-materialistic societies.
For example, consider a common life sequence for an educated woman. She grows up and goes to college. Perhaps she goes to graduate school. Then, during her most fertile years, when she has the most energy for child-rearing, she gets a job. Then, sometime after age 30, she marries. Then, in her mid-30's, when she has acquired the maturity and character to make intelligent career choices, she takes time off to raise her kids.
Several years hence, she seeks to re-enter the labor force. She may or may not be still interested in the field she was trained for (two decades earlier). Nonetheless, she finds a job, works for 15 years or so, then spends her final 20 years in retirement.
This is not necessarily the sequence she would choose if she were starting from scratch. For example, it might make more sense to go to college, make a greater effort to marry early and have children. Then, if she, rather than her spouse, wants to stay home, she could raise children from age 25 to 35. Then at 35 (now that she knows herself better) she could select a flexible graduate program specifically designed for parents. Then she could work in one uninterrupted stint from, say, 40 to 70.
I used to teach a course in Management. One lesson was on managing your own career. I used to advise the female students: imitate Margaret Thatcher and Indira Ghandi. Have your children first, then become Prime Minister. I have no idea how many, if any, took my advice.
| "You're intelligent. You have talents. You are worth something. You can do anything you want in this life: you can be an astronaut and discover new worlds. You can be a lawyer and defend the innocent or lock up bad guys. You can be a doctor and heal the sick. You can be a scientist and learn the secrets of the universe. You can start a business and invent things that will benefit millions."
|
So, so very true. And your sig is just perfect.
Nice to see ya, btw! : )
You too. Haven't seen you around in awhile.
I absolutely agree. But much of the discussion here is about the really talented, intellectually gifted women who do have the talent to become doctors/lawyers/executives.
I do not say things for effect, Professer. The writer was endorsing the notion of large scale population rise in order to support the elderly. There was no intent to refer to families supported by their younger members, which is a different matter entirely. The writer was a so-called authority on "social welfare," who was suggesting that we should raise a crop of strangers to serve the needs of another crop of strangers. That is cannibalistic; and typical Marxist "thinking."
What a sickeningly socialist attitude.
Everyone is supposed to support himself, especially if one's going to call himself a "conservative".
It's immoral to have children and think it's a good thing that they'll soon be tax slaves.
I mentioned this in another thread, and it's only anecdotal evidence, but every girl in the office where I work who had a baby in the last 5 or so years decided to stay home. Every one. Most talked about coming back until they held their babies in their arms, but then they couldn't let go. And these ladies aren't convenience store clerks -- they are all college-educated professionals.
Maybe this generation learned from their mothers' mistakes.
Biology follows its own course ...
Absolutely! You must be a great mom. I sure didn't have your foresight. Had to learn as I went along, not to leave a teenager alone. :(
Whatever happened to grandparents?
Hear hear!
Most of the 30-something 'feminists' I know are in low paying cube jobs, without husbands, children, homes or even boyfriends.
At 30, I had 3 kids under the age of 5, a fun husband, a little-bit-bigger house and mental challenges all day long.
I can't imagine any job that would have given me the mental, physical and emotional workout that raising and homeschooling four children did.
Now I'm 52, starting a new career as a fiber artist, and waiting impatiently for grandchildren. My husband and I are debt-free (except for a tiny mortgage), and all of our kids are among our closest friends.
I feel very sorry for the women I know who bought into the feminism garbage. Can't all weomen see from 10 feet away that Gloria Stienem and her buddies are unhappy, unstable, and anything but role models???
Pinz
I'm not picking a fight with you, :-) but I was exactly the young woman you're describing when I came out of school. Those are the women we need to be moms, out and about in society, raising the next generation, running the volunteer organizations that make our communities function, providing the backbone to our day-to-day lives.
Let the medical schools learn to accept 35 year old candidates who are ready to give 40 years to a career.
Pinz
My mother became an insurance executive back in the late 60's when it was still a man's industry. She worked long hours and traveled some. My father was an engineer and also worked long hours, so we were pretty much raised by a housekeeper. I KNEW I didn't want that for my children. When my husband proposed I told him "I want children and I want to be a full time mother". I admit my husband and I did without some things, we had a condo instead of a house and we had 1 used car instead of 2 new ones, but we are glad we made the choices we did. We would go to parties and women would ask "what do you do?" When I would answer, "I'm a mom", many of these women turned up their noses and walked away. I was definitely out of fashion in the late 70's and 80's when every woman was supposed to have it all, a job, kids and a big house, etc.
I often wondered about the daughters of these women would choose when they grew up. I saw myself as a reaction to my mother and figured we were in for a return to motherhood when my daughter's friends grew up.
(My mother couldn't believe I would choose to stay home and kept asking me when are you going to get a job? Recently she told my cousin she wished she had stayed home with her children, but she has NEVER said it to me.)
>>I need to be home when they are old enough to get into >>trouble and need the most guidance.
>Absolutely! You must be a great mom. I sure didn't have your >foresight. Had to learn as I went along, not to leave a >teenager alone. :>(
Thanks for the great mom comment! I like to think so.
Unfortunately the wisdom only comes from being a teenage girl left to her own devices (and teenage boy's devices) while mom worked. I am learning from my own mistakes!
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Yeah, everybody hears that now. But what's the truth? For most, it's "You can sit in a cube and get paid to read memos they paid other people to write. You can sit behind a desk and help one person after another fill out forms to buy car insurance. You can help think up catchy slogans for laundry detergents. You can program the accounts receivable system to bring it into compliance with FASB 227." The work of the world is a lot more boring than astronauts and brain surgeons. For most women, the astronaut hoo-hah is about as relevant as it is for the guys who are all going to be NFL quarterbacks.