Empty Nests, and Hearts

NY Times ^ | January 15, 2005 | DAVID BROOKS

[Jeff Chandler]

Women's liberation, in many ways, has been a cruel joke for the women.

[quantim]

Gilbert, who is a professor of social welfare at Berkeley,

That statement is scary within itself. Be afraid, very afraid.

[Graymatter]

it might make more sense to go to college, make a greater effort to marry early and have children. Then, if she, rather than her spouse, wants to stay home, she could raise children from age 25 to 35. Then at 35 (now that she knows herself better) she could select a flexible graduate program specifically designed for parents. Then she could work in one uninterrupted stint from, say, 40 to 70. This option would allow her to raise kids during her most fertile years and work during her mature ones, and the trade-off between family and career might be less onerous.

Sure, let's short-change the kids by giving them the immature mom who'd rather be elsewhere than sitting home with babies, whose judgment leaves something to be desired. And what makes you think that she'll be free to pursue a career at 35 or 40? Her teenagers won't miss her? Better take this plan back to the drawing board!

[Graymatter]

fertility rates would rise. That would be good for the country, for...we are consuming more human capital than we are producing - or to put it another way, we don't have enough young people to support our old people.

How very cannibalistic. Let's make more babies to support our elderly. Why settle for embryo stem cells when we can make whole slaves?

[sandbar]

>And what makes you think that she'll be free to pursue a >career at 35 or 40? Her teenagers won't miss her?

Actually that is when I intend to be home. I have worked since they were babies and have had them in daycare (a very good rural daycare with teachers who have been there since they started 7 years ago) and I plan on scaling back to be home when they get home. I need to be home when they are old enough to get into trouble and need the most guidance.

[GVnana]

women should sequence their lives differently from men, and that women may need a broader diversity of sequence options.

If you want marriage and children, this is a modern necessity.

[Fiddlstix]

BTTT

[maine-iac7]

Young girls have been indoctrinated for decades now, mainly thru' " Family Planning" propaganda, opertaing thru' the schools, that getting married and having, dirty, squalling kids is a from of slavery and denigration. They are two young to realize they are being latently imprinted.

By the time they figure it out - oops - too late.

Then, as holidays come around and "families" are busy celebrating together, the childless home echoes loudly, and forever empty. Then they get an inkling that life is about family - family is forever...family is a the most important, hardest and most rewarding career. Jobs and outside careers evaporate, associates drift off - and they are left with the choices they made.

I'm the mother of 5 and have 15 grandkids. What a glorious 2 weeks I had for Christmas and New Years. That was the career I chose first - and it's been a resounding success...

[Floratina]

For some, it's a question of never finding the right person to have kids with.

Sadly, many who are responsible and not desperate to have children at any cost will not have any at all.

[maine-iac7]

from = form

[Noachian]

Biology follows its own natural course unconcerned with human desires.

If college educated women decide to neglect their child-bearing years and follow men into the workplace then they have no one to blame but themselves for their lack of children.

White collar women, unlike blue collar women, generally (but not always) have the option to take a few years off from work to raise children - some just don't do it.

[Noachian]

Biology follows its own natural course unconcerned with human desires.

If college educated women decide to neglect their child-bearing years and follow men into the workplace then they have no one to blame but themselves for their lack of children.

White collar women, unlike blue collar women, generally (but not always) have the option to take a few years off from work to raise children - some just don't do it.

[freespirited]

For some, it's a question of never finding the right person to have kids with. Others thought they'd found the right mates, but the relationships didn't work out. Others became occupied with careers, and the child-rearing part of their lives never got put together.

Oh, come on, David. Just say it.

These women have been sold a bill of goods by feminism. I will bet you that most of them know it, too.

[Fruitbat]

Women's liberation, in many ways, has been a cruel joke for the women.

Indeed! But it's been a cruel joke for men and society at large as well.

[NutCrackerBoy]

It isn't earth-shattering, but the ideas are not bad. To stretch a point, it is as usual today a conservative type who is injecting fresh ideas. Liberal thought is very much constrained by one trillion political-correct rules.

[BobS]

Some women are biologically incapable of having children and want them and tried. They are the ones who adopt. It has something to do with genetic structure in a chromasome. I believe it is an adenosine skip. Sheesh. How did I get this deep? I ordered myself to relax and I am not.

[CBart95]

Why bother commenting on anything the NYT ever says? They have forfieted their credibility.

[Capriole]

Sadly, these days any 22-year-old girl who graduates from college (a) has a boatload of college-loan debt she has to pay off, and (b) will find that most young men her age react with horror if she says she just wants to stay at home and be a mother. Too many men have been indoctrinated to regard the non-career spouse as a parasite--yes, even those who want children. So a girl today can't do as her great-grandmother did, and sit at home embroidering while waiting for the right young man to pay court to her; she has to get out in the world of work and develop a career. Because, as the article notes, sometimes nobody comes along to marry and support a girl.

[NurdlyPeon]

If college educated women decide to neglect their child-bearing years and follow men into the workplace then they have no one to blame but themselves for their lack of children.

I kind of have to disagree with you about that. Can you really blame someone for being deceived? The woman's liberation movement was not just a cruel joke on women (and men), it was a cruel deception. Like you said, biology follows its own course. Truer words, brother, truer words.