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it might make more sense to go to college, make a greater effort to marry early and have children. Then, if she, rather than her spouse, wants to stay home, she could raise children from age 25 to 35. Then at 35 (now that she knows herself better) she could select a flexible graduate program specifically designed for parents. Then she could work in one uninterrupted stint from, say, 40 to 70. This option would allow her to raise kids during her most fertile years and work during her mature ones, and the trade-off between family and career might be less onerous.

Sure, let's short-change the kids by giving them the immature mom who'd rather be elsewhere than sitting home with babies, whose judgment leaves something to be desired. And what makes you think that she'll be free to pursue a career at 35 or 40? Her teenagers won't miss her? Better take this plan back to the drawing board!

>And what makes you think that she'll be free to pursue a >career at 35 or 40? Her teenagers won't miss her?

Actually that is when I intend to be home. I have worked since they were babies and have had them in daycare (a very good rural daycare with teachers who have been there since they started 7 years ago) and I plan on scaling back to be home when they get home. I need to be home when they are old enough to get into trouble and need the most guidance.

What normal teenager would miss his mother during the day? My teenage kids can't get my wife and I out of the house fast enough these days! Since they got old enough to stay home alone (for long stretches during the day), my wife and I have gone on a bit of a "second honeymoon." We go out to eat together, go to movies and do other things while our teenagers are in their glory back home, where they can eat soup out of a can (which is what they prefer) and have full reign over the TV and computers.

I think the ideal scenario is to have kids while you are relatively young and save your career for later. For years, while our kids were small, we arranged to be home for them and didn't make a whole lot of money. But they were great years and I'll never want to do it differently. Now that the kids are pretty much grown up, the both of us can focus on our careers (and pay for all that college!). Having your kids grown up when you are still in your mid-40s is a beautiful thing. I do not envy at all those in my peer group who are just now starting to have kids (in their 40s). Having little ones running around when you are in your 50s and 60s just doesn't appeal to me. But to each their own.

It is sad when women who wanted kids hit against their "biological clock." I know a few women like that and I feel badly for them. They are just not very happy people.