Posted on 01/12/2005 7:17:28 AM PST by esryle
HEMPSTEAD, N.Y. -- Two men have been arrested for trading lawyer jokes while waiting on line to get into First District Court in Hempstead.
The two men, 69-year-old Harvey Kash, of Bethpage, and 65-year-old Carl Lanzisera, of Huntington, were in court Monday as part of their work with Americans for Legal Reform, a group that monitors how the courts serve the public.
While waiting on a long line to get through into court, they began telling each other lawyer jokes such as, "How do you tell if a lawyer is lying? Answer: his lips are moving."
Well, an attorney within earshot got angry and told court officers that the two men were disturbing the public.
They were handcuffed and charged with disorderly conduct.
The two men said their First Amendment free speech rights were violated.
The men were given desk appearance tickets and are due back in court next month.
They appear all too willing to do just that.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
A: One's a bottom-feeding scavanger, and the other is just a fish.
Q: Why did New York end up with all the lawyers, and New Jersey with all the toxic waste dumps?
A: New Jersey got first pick.
"Have the cops arrest the lawyer for filing a false report and then sue him for harassment"
The only problem there is the lawyer will get his attorney for free while the two other guys will have to pay for theirs.
What happens if you give a lawyer Viagra?
He gets taller.
ROFLOL! Someone owes me a keyboard.
I have a bigger problem with the toady bailiff than with the lawyer.
Thus the Freeper name. ;)
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
A: One is a bottom feeding, scum sucking scavenger. The other is just a fish.
What is the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?
A prostitute stops f*cking you after you die.
What is difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
One is bottom dwelling scum sucker and the other is a fish.
There are really only three (3) lawyer jokes. The rest are true stories!
A: Lipstick
Arrested for lawyer jokes? Hmmm. Sounds like the liberalism in the judical system is trying to take over society...especially in New York. Liberals just cannot deal with the truth about themselves...you would think that would be a message to them...but, then again, they are liberals...no hope.
Plumber?
How are a Lawyer and a sperm alike?
Hey c'mon. That's one of the things we freepers do best. Paint the middle with the extreme.
sigh...Just no place to rest these weary old bones.
I really wonder about the reporting of this case. Lawyers tell the most lawyer jokes. I bet these guys were just loud.
It will also matter if it interfeared with a human or electronic court recording device. (the later records all sounds in the courtroom)
and now just the punch lines from lawyer jokes:
-skid marks
-a good start
-profesional courtesy
-its never been used
-lips are moving
-where are you going to get a lawyer
-he's the first lawyer here
1. Any person with a valid hunting license may harvest attorneys.
2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.
3. Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.
4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snowmobile, helicopter, or aircraft.
5. It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Scotch" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
6. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW dealerships.
7. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, whorehouses, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.
8. If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, "entrap", or possess it.
9. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection for rabies, and vermin.
10. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drugdealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or taxaccountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.
BAG LIMITS
(Maximum number of catches allowed per hunting season)
1. Yellow Bellied Sidewinder...........(2)
2. Two-faced Tort Feasor...............(1)
3. Back-stabbing Divorce Litigator.....(4)
4. Small-breasted Ball Buster..........(3)
(Female only)
5. Big-mouthed Pub Gut.................(2)
6. Honest Attorney.....................(0)
(On the Endangered Species List) (Illegal to hunt)
7. Cut-throat..........................(2)
8. Back-stabbing Whiner................(2)
9. Brown-nosed Judge Kisser............(2)
10. Silver-tongued Drug Defender.......($100 BOUNTY)
remember the ABA is VOLUNTARY and many lawyers refuse to join because of their looney left stands.
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