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Men Arrested For Telling Lawyer Jokes While Waiting At L.I. Court
WNBC ^

Posted on 01/12/2005 7:17:28 AM PST by esryle

HEMPSTEAD, N.Y. -- Two men have been arrested for trading lawyer jokes while waiting on line to get into First District Court in Hempstead.

The two men, 69-year-old Harvey Kash, of Bethpage, and 65-year-old Carl Lanzisera, of Huntington, were in court Monday as part of their work with Americans for Legal Reform, a group that monitors how the courts serve the public.

While waiting on a long line to get through into court, they began telling each other lawyer jokes such as, "How do you tell if a lawyer is lying? Answer: his lips are moving."

Well, an attorney within earshot got angry and told court officers that the two men were disturbing the public.

They were handcuffed and charged with disorderly conduct.

The two men said their First Amendment free speech rights were violated.

The men were given desk appearance tickets and are due back in court next month.


TOPICS: Extended News; News/Current Events; US: New York
KEYWORDS: 1stamendment; abuseofpower; callingjohnedwards; firstamendment; freespeech; harassment; hatecrime; hatespeech; injusticedepartment; lawyerjokes; lawyers; legalabuse; orwelliannightmare; specialrights; theprotectedclass; thoughtcrime; tortreform; waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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To: almcbean
Please don't paint all lawyers with the same brush.

They appear all too willing to do just that.

61 posted on 01/12/2005 7:35:19 AM PST by attyatlaw001
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To: HamiltonJay
As a law student, I've heard mostly the same tired, old jokes - 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea, and so forth. But my two absolute favorites are as follows:

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
A: One's a bottom-feeding scavanger, and the other is just a fish.

Q: Why did New York end up with all the lawyers, and New Jersey with all the toxic waste dumps?
A: New Jersey got first pick.

62 posted on 01/12/2005 7:35:23 AM PST by jude24 ("To go against conscience is neither right nor safe." - Martin Luther)
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To: Bikers4Bush

"Have the cops arrest the lawyer for filing a false report and then sue him for harassment"

The only problem there is the lawyer will get his attorney for free while the two other guys will have to pay for theirs.


63 posted on 01/12/2005 7:36:00 AM PST by Rebelbase (Who is General Chat?)
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To: Slings and Arrows; tacticalogic

What happens if you give a lawyer Viagra?

He gets taller.

ROFLOL! Someone owes me a keyboard.


64 posted on 01/12/2005 7:36:20 AM PST by hushpad (Come on baby. . .Don't fear the FReeper. . .)
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To: almcbean

I have a bigger problem with the toady bailiff than with the lawyer.


65 posted on 01/12/2005 7:36:45 AM PST by clintonh8r
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To: JudyinCanada
Careful...they may have you arrested on-line.

Thus the Freeper name. ;)

66 posted on 01/12/2005 7:38:08 AM PST by anonymous_user (Not everything's a conspiracy.)
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To: anonymous_user

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?

A: One is a bottom feeding, scum sucking scavenger. The other is just a fish.


67 posted on 01/12/2005 7:38:20 AM PST by OldCorps
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To: pierrem15
What do you call a lawyer who finishes last in his class?
Your Honor

What is the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?
A prostitute stops f*cking you after you die.

68 posted on 01/12/2005 7:38:46 AM PST by SC DOC
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To: pierrem15
Lawyers and the ABA are becoming the Gestapo in America.
The American Constitution is being overthrown daily and if they ever control guns they will take us over. It is time to arm ones self and prepare,the time is closer than most realize!
69 posted on 01/12/2005 7:39:00 AM PST by gunnedah
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To: anonymous_user

What is difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
One is bottom dwelling scum sucker and the other is a fish.


70 posted on 01/12/2005 7:39:01 AM PST by Texas Songwriter (p)
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To: jude24

There are really only three (3) lawyer jokes. The rest are true stories!


71 posted on 01/12/2005 7:39:15 AM PST by SubMareener (Become a monthly donor! Free FreeRepublic.com from Quarterly FReepathons!)
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To: jude24
Q: What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pit bull?

A: Lipstick

72 posted on 01/12/2005 7:39:32 AM PST by Dubh_Ghlase ("Every man dies, but not every man truly lives...." Braveheart)
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To: clintonh8r

Arrested for lawyer jokes? Hmmm. Sounds like the liberalism in the judical system is trying to take over society...especially in New York. Liberals just cannot deal with the truth about themselves...you would think that would be a message to them...but, then again, they are liberals...no hope.


73 posted on 01/12/2005 7:39:35 AM PST by EagleUSA
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To: almcbean
Guess what I do for a living.

Plumber?

74 posted on 01/12/2005 7:39:44 AM PST by null and void (I refuse to live my life as if someone, somewhere will be offended if I laugh...)
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To: SC DOC

How are a Lawyer and a sperm alike?


75 posted on 01/12/2005 7:40:00 AM PST by Shady
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To: attyatlaw001; almcbean

Hey c'mon. That's one of the things we freepers do best. Paint the middle with the extreme.


76 posted on 01/12/2005 7:40:05 AM PST by dmz
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To: Lazamataz
Recall in last few days seeing natives on remote islands near India. Naked and using bows and arrows? I been thinkin bout moving there, then someone said they might be cannibals.

sigh...Just no place to rest these weary old bones.

77 posted on 01/12/2005 7:40:38 AM PST by cynicom (<p)
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To: esryle

I really wonder about the reporting of this case. Lawyers tell the most lawyer jokes. I bet these guys were just loud.

It will also matter if it interfeared with a human or electronic court recording device. (the later records all sounds in the courtroom)

and now just the punch lines from lawyer jokes:


-skid marks
-a good start
-profesional courtesy
-its never been used
-lips are moving
-where are you going to get a lawyer
-he's the first lawyer here


78 posted on 01/12/2005 7:40:49 AM PST by longtermmemmory (VOTE!)
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To: jude24; HamiltonJay
NEW REGULATIONS FOR THE HUNTING OF LAWERS
Government Department of Fish and "WildLife" Sec. 1200

1. Any person with a valid hunting license may harvest attorneys.

2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.

3. Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.

4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snowmobile, helicopter, or aircraft.

5. It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Scotch" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.

6. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW dealerships.

7. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, whorehouses, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.

8. If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, "entrap", or possess it.

9. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection for rabies, and vermin.

10. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drugdealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or taxaccountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.

BAG LIMITS

(Maximum number of catches allowed per hunting season)

1. Yellow Bellied Sidewinder...........(2)
2. Two-faced Tort Feasor...............(1)
3. Back-stabbing Divorce Litigator.....(4)
4. Small-breasted Ball Buster..........(3)
(Female only)
5. Big-mouthed Pub Gut.................(2)
6. Honest Attorney.....................(0)
(On the Endangered Species List) (Illegal to hunt)
7. Cut-throat..........................(2)
8. Back-stabbing Whiner................(2)
9. Brown-nosed Judge Kisser............(2)
10. Silver-tongued Drug Defender.......($100 BOUNTY)

79 posted on 01/12/2005 7:41:16 AM PST by AnAmericanMother (. . . Ministrix of ye Chace (recess appointment), TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary . . .)
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To: gunnedah

remember the ABA is VOLUNTARY and many lawyers refuse to join because of their looney left stands.


80 posted on 01/12/2005 7:41:49 AM PST by longtermmemmory (VOTE!)
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