[jude24]

As a law student, I've heard mostly the same tired, old jokes - 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea, and so forth. But my two absolute favorites are as follows:

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
A: One's a bottom-feeding scavanger, and the other is just a fish.

Q: Why did New York end up with all the lawyers, and New Jersey with all the toxic waste dumps?
A: New Jersey got first pick.

[SubMareener]

There are really only three (3) lawyer jokes. The rest are true stories!

[Dubh_Ghlase]

Q: What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pit bull?

A: Lipstick

[AnAmericanMother]

NEW REGULATIONS FOR THE HUNTING OF LAWERS
Government Department of Fish and "WildLife" Sec. 1200

1. Any person with a valid hunting license may harvest attorneys.

2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.

3. Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.

4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snowmobile, helicopter, or aircraft.

5. It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Scotch" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.

6. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW dealerships.

7. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, whorehouses, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.

8. If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, "entrap", or possess it.

9. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection for rabies, and vermin.

10. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drugdealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or taxaccountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.

BAG LIMITS

(Maximum number of catches allowed per hunting season)

1. Yellow Bellied Sidewinder...........(2)
2. Two-faced Tort Feasor...............(1)
3. Back-stabbing Divorce Litigator.....(4)
4. Small-breasted Ball Buster..........(3)
(Female only)
5. Big-mouthed Pub Gut.................(2)
6. Honest Attorney.....................(0)
(On the Endangered Species List) (Illegal to hunt)
7. Cut-throat..........................(2)
8. Back-stabbing Whiner................(2)
9. Brown-nosed Judge Kisser............(2)
10. Silver-tongued Drug Defender.......($100 BOUNTY)

[Oberon]

Oh, those are good. Here's one I particularly like:

Q: How is a lawyer like a Slinky?
A: Neither one is good for much, but it's still fun to watch one tumble down the stairs.