Posted on 01/12/2005 7:17:28 AM PST by esryle
HEMPSTEAD, N.Y. -- Two men have been arrested for trading lawyer jokes while waiting on line to get into First District Court in Hempstead.
The two men, 69-year-old Harvey Kash, of Bethpage, and 65-year-old Carl Lanzisera, of Huntington, were in court Monday as part of their work with Americans for Legal Reform, a group that monitors how the courts serve the public.
While waiting on a long line to get through into court, they began telling each other lawyer jokes such as, "How do you tell if a lawyer is lying? Answer: his lips are moving."
Well, an attorney within earshot got angry and told court officers that the two men were disturbing the public.
They were handcuffed and charged with disorderly conduct.
The two men said their First Amendment free speech rights were violated.
The men were given desk appearance tickets and are due back in court next month.
It was so cold the other day that an attorney had to put his hands in his own pockets! HA!
I'm thinking of changing my name to Isaac Malachi Abraham Bombe; that way I'll get the VIP treatment when I fly.
Yes. Its a brave new world now, isn't it? The youngsters of today don't have any idea what "Freedom" means. Its been a long fall, but I don't think we've hit the bottom.
(Weather will be getting better soon, you slippery devil. Been shooting a couple of times, but your contact info didn't work.)
They figure the lab assistants won't get attached to them, and nobody will protest if one dies.
What's the difference between a dead lawyer and a dead snake, lying in the road?
The snake has skidmarks in front of it.
My father is a Lawyer, and he started attending lawschool when I was about 7 years old..... I grew up surrounded by lawyers... which explains probably why I am so cracked.
LOL
What do you call a lawyer at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
Absolutely, the water's up to about 208 degrees.....
I'm familiar with scarier version of that one:
What do you call a med student who finishes last in his class? Doctor.
Yup. I refuse to join the ABA. The ABA is well to the left of the average attorney in this country. It's gone from being a group that represents the profession to just another liberal lobbying organization.
Q: How does an attorney sleep?
A: First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?
A: Only three. The rest are true stories.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: How many can you afford?
Q: If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?
A: (There is no incorrect answer to this question)
Q: What did the lawyer name his daughter?
A: Sue.
Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
A: Madame Senator.
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
A: Your Honor.
Q: What do you get when you cross a corrupt politician with a crooked lawyer?
A: Chelsea Clinton.
Q: What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
A: His partners.
Q: What does a lawyer use for birth-control?
A: His personality.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A: The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
Q: What's the difference between God and a lawyer?
A: God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
Q: Why does California have the most lawyers in the country and New Jersey have the most toxic waste sites?
A: New Jersey got first choice.
That's one of my favorites!
What do you call 100 lawyers drowned in a boat accident? A good start...
The lawyer should be arrested and disbarred for filing a false police report.
I did exactly the same thing once.
Proved that the State policeman would have been driving nearly 100 MPH in downtown Boston to ticket me, were his story true (which it wasn't). The officer wasn't present in court, and his State policeman proxy started asking "Are you calling Officer X a liar?"
Anyway the judge cut the fine in half and assessed zero points. It was obvious the policeman had eyeballed me passing by and simply made up his MPH number out of thin air. His story was not mathematically plausible.
My husband is a lawyer. That joke floored me...lol!
87% of statistics are made up.
The US rate of per capita lawyers isn't particularly high.
Anyway, I could use your statistic to show that the higher the percentage of lawyers in a country, the higher the standard of living and the freer the country.
Why do lawyers all wear neckties? It keeps their foreskins from slipping over their heads.
In order to do strengthen their position they need to ge tAffidavits from other people who were in line refuting the clain that is made by the attorney.
There is a chance we do not have the whole story here and they were doing something more than just telling each other lawyer jokes. The outcome would be interesting.
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