Posted on 01/12/2005 7:17:28 AM PST by esryle
HEMPSTEAD, N.Y. -- Two men have been arrested for trading lawyer jokes while waiting on line to get into First District Court in Hempstead.
The two men, 69-year-old Harvey Kash, of Bethpage, and 65-year-old Carl Lanzisera, of Huntington, were in court Monday as part of their work with Americans for Legal Reform, a group that monitors how the courts serve the public.
While waiting on a long line to get through into court, they began telling each other lawyer jokes such as, "How do you tell if a lawyer is lying? Answer: his lips are moving."
Well, an attorney within earshot got angry and told court officers that the two men were disturbing the public.
They were handcuffed and charged with disorderly conduct.
The two men said their First Amendment free speech rights were violated.
The men were given desk appearance tickets and are due back in court next month.
The vast majority of bad lawyers sure give the few good ones a bad name. Sheesh....
see #10
It is only New York ...
There was a lawyer driving his expensive Benz convertible inon a road in Beverly Hills. He was on his hands free car phone, while his other arm dangled outside the car. A driver coming in the opposite direction lost control of his car and crashed and slid across the Benz' door. The police arrived at the scene, and found the attorney in a state of shock, staring at where his hand and forearm had once been. He was screaming "My Rolex! My Rolex!"
The devil visited a young lawyer's office and made him an offer.
"I can arrange some things for you," the devil said. "I'll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you'll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All I require in return is that your wife's soul, your children's souls and their children's souls must rot in hell for eternity."
The lawyer thought for a moment and said, "What's the catch?"
I work in a law firm. The best lawyer jokes are told by lawyers.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? - Wings.
It was so cold today I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.
(((98% of lawyers give the rest a bad name...)))
This happens to be very true. :-D Actually, in defense of lawyers (don't hit me, don't hit me!), I think it takes a personality TYPE to be an attorney. There are plenty of great folks who are attorneys, but they have to have a certain attitude! That's over generalizing, I know, but I've been a legal secretary for a whole lotta years and it is upon this experience, your honor, that I rest my case.
the problem is if it's closer than most realize, most won't realize when the time has come and will stay home and watch cnn while the few of us who do recognize the time get roasted by the likes of Janet Reno.....
You don't go telling lawyer jokes in a Court House and you don't tell blonde jokes while in Sweden.
The law is a game that lawyers play.
They keep score with other people's money.
Well, it's not a lawyer joke, but since you brought up the subject of tragedy: What's the difference between comedy and tragedy?
"Yeah, I know," said the plumber, "I didn't get that kind of money, either, when I was a lawyer."......
You're in a room with a tiger, a lion and a lawyer - your .357 S&W has only 2 rounds - What do you do??
Shoot the lawyer twice.
Whatever...
"Yeah, I know," said the plumber, "I didn't get that kind of money, either, when I was a lawyer."......
You're lucky you got a court that was just. I've been to court and proved three different ways the charge (speeding) was impossible at the time, the judge took the case under advisement for 4 months then pronounced me guilty. (I assumed so she would forget the facts of the case so she could sleep at night after declaring me guilty) That was after the cop who knowingly wrote out a false ticket refused to show 4 times in a row, the judge granted continuance all four times, then demanded the cop appear or face jail time so he fianlly showed and perjured himself on the fifth trial date.....
Tell me there isn't something wrong there.
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