Posted on 01/11/2005 6:46:32 AM PST by mhking
Religious Action Figures? Huh?
In the same vein as HanoverBaptist.org and Betty "I'm A Better Christian Than You" Bowers, comes the apparently fictional Jesus Christ Superstore. The primary item up for "sale" are action figures for all the world's major religions.
The Christian section includes figures of "God Almighty," complete with Kingdom-Come Kalashnikov AK-47 assault rifle and wearing the "Hallowed cloak of invulnerability." There are also figures of "The Pope" (with Holy Cross Kali sticks, 'Meek and Mild' Walther PPK handgun and wearing his blood red Vatican Assault uniform) and Jesus Christ (includes Ninja-Messiah throwing nails and Death Killer-Cross pump action over-under shotgun).
Christians aren't the only ones these folks have gone after. Buddhists (Buddha, with Fighting Staff of Meditation, Magnum66 automatic Nirvana pistol, and Invincible Holy Orange Cape of Enlightenment; and Dalhi Lama, with 'Tibetan terror'AK-12 automatic machine pistol, Magnum66 automatic Nirvana pistol (complete with transcendental silencer), also fire and forget self-enlightening laser), Hindus (Krishna, with 'Jungly Colt' 45 pistol and laser sighted automatic 'Ganesh-garnish' S&W with silencer; and Shiva, In Four-Armed warrior incarnation with Untouchable-Toucher Uzi automatic), Jews (Chief Rabbi, with 'Kosher Kill' sniper automatic handgun and Jehova mklll silencer, also Staff of the Vengeful God), and even the vaunted 'religion of peace' (The Ayatollah, with Holy Struggle SZ-924 stun gun, 'Pokem' harpoon pistol and wearing Kohmeni Midnight Warrior yashmak; "Islamic Jihad," with Smith and Islamabad SLR rifle with 'Holy Vision' laser sight and plastic explosives included; and Allah, represented by an empty box and the caption "He who may not be shown") are shown.
Each figure has a caption above it, from "Cosmic Warrior and lover of many women" above the Krishna figure to "His is the kingdom, the power and the glory" above the God Almighty figure. Some of them might be considered to be out of line ("the father, the son, and the bad motherf..." over the Jesus Christ figure), but I'm guessing that this is the "next" religious satire site to try to offend everybody. After all, their overall slogan is "Putting the fun back into fundamentalism and laughter into sectarian slaughter."
Why would Jesus need a shotgun?
:-).
The hardwood floors gave them bad ideas!
Though, I do wish that I had those when I was growing up.
More space in which to dribble.
Pesky good Samaritans?
It's hard on the dinner chairs.
Hey I know her. She's been online lately. People are twisted.
I would have used the ceiling, myself.
LOL!
I know what you mean.
They were careful not to offend Mohammedians by actually depicting Allah. All other faiths can take a flying f*** but Islamonazis play for keeps.
They deferred to the most radical of all fundamentalists to save their asses.
http://www.jesuschristsuperstore.net/lfigurespages/lfjesus.html
They did plenty to be insulting to all Christians without having to draw Mary into it: 
Try Hangover Baptist, which is located in my suburb of Hangover Park.
Maybe he's hunting vampires.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0311361/
Jesus was also portrayed on a South Park episode rescuing Santa from Iraqi terrorists.
Strangely, he was killed, resulting in Christmas becoming a holiday celebrating Jesus' sacrifice for us. (?)
Those guys may be too satirical for me to follow. ;)
Made in China I bet!
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