Posted on 01/04/2005 12:24:26 PM PST by Keyes2000mt
The words were said countless thousands of times last year as a minister concluded the ceremony. "What God hath joined together, let no man put asunder." But so often man and woman do.
While gay marriage has been roundly condemned in most churches (and rightly so), you will not hear much about divorce. In many cases, if divorce is discussed in church, it's talked about as this horrible circumstance that comes upon people, listed in the same breath as automobile accidents or serious illnesses.
The Bible is quite clear on the issue of divorce. Malachi 2:16 says it clearly, "For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that He hateth putting away (i.e. Divorce)..." Hate's a strong word and Christ reiterates this in the New Testament. Yet, in the church, even in Conservative churches, a man is more likely to feel uncomfortable with pierced ear than with a couple divorces behind him.
There's good reason why the church and conservatives are skittish about this topic. There's no one who doesn't know someone who's been divorced. They fill our church pews every Sunday. We know them to be decent folks who agree with us on a lot of cultural issues. Randall Terry, Newt Gingrich, and Rush Limbaugh have all been divorced.
We also know folks who have been victimized by their ex-spouse: abused, cheated on, and treated like dirt. Or, perhaps you dear reader have had a divorce where you weren't at fault and that you didn't choose.
On the other hand, most Christians know very few homosexuals and even less know homosexuals who'd like to get married. The odds of a pastor offending a large tither whose gay and wants to get married is quite small.
To say our current divorce rate is a national sin is not to say that all divorcees are to be condemned and treated as despicable outcasts. The church should be compassionate, but even as Christ said, "Go and sin no more," It must be proactive in dealing with divorce.
Divorce must be taught against strongly in the church. The church as a community should be dedicated to helping preserve the marriages of the church. Strengthening the marriages of believers should be considered as important if not more so than evangelism. Children of broken homes often wander spiritually and in many cases fall from faith. Thus, a large church may win 100 converts, but if it produces 40 broken homes in the same year that leads to 100 angry and embittered children, it is not truly building the Kingdom of God.
Also, church discipline should be used when appropriate for those who divorce without just cause and refuse reconciliation efforts. Watching Cornerstone Television, I saw former NFL player and Pastor of Antioch Bible Church Ken Hutcherson. He organized the Mayday for Marriage rally in Washington, DC opposing gay marriage. Call him anything you like, but don't call him a gay-hating hypocrite. Hutcherson said that in the past year, he'd censured five members of the church, including some for ending marriages without just cause.
The structure of most Protestant Churches is anti-authoritarian and the idea of church discipline is scary to most of us as we've heard horror stories about how cults have abused it. However, desperate times call for desperate measures and a biblical use of church discipline could aid in preserving marriages.
Secular Action
The devastating number of divorces is an area where the interests of church and state collide. Studies have shown that divorces lead to economic problems for states and communities, as well as the long term problems that come from children of broken marriages. It's no accident that the richest states are those with the lowest divorce rates.
The fact is that anyone who finds themselves in a bad marriage made a mistake at one time or another. Half the time, their biggest mistake was getting married in the first place. To prevent these bad matches or to help get the marriage off on a better start, marrying couples should be required to undergo several hours of marriage classes and/or marital counseling from a licensed minister or marriage counselor.
Secondly, no-fault divorce laws must be reformed. Marriage is the most important relationship a person has legally, yet it has all the force and effect of a month-to-month lease thanks to no-fault divorce laws. The laws should be reformed so a no-fault divorce can only be obtained if both parties consent. This would also reduce the court costs associated with issues of custody and division of the property as a no-fault divorce could only be obtained if both parties were agreed on it.
Those who believe in gay marriage have pointed to divorce as an argument against those who seek to protect marriage from same sex unions. I reject the argument that one evil prospering requires that we allow another blow to traditional family values. However, preserving the family is about more than one single issue and if we're going to be serious about it, we have to address all the issues that threaten the survival of the Family.
Well, at least we don't act on it...
:-)
We are everywhere,aren't we?
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What's even more amazing is the people who show up to cast the first stone.
Kind of like you.
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Thanks for illustrating my point. See, now it's all my fault for being such a cruel, mean, heartless person.
My husband was a month shy of 42 when we got married, and he had never been married.
Like so much else in our lives, marriage has become a disposable product. I don't think it should be.
My parents were awful together - if they would have considered that before entering into marriage together, they would have never done it.
Nah, I'm Catholic. The one big "L" that would trump that one would be converting to Lutheranism.
You sure do seem to be getting a big kick out of being so sanctimonious.
Glass houses, all that.
Matters not where it is listed. Homosexuality is still an absolute abomination.
I wouldn't say you're a cruel, mean, heartless person.
At bit of a jerk maybe, but definately not those other things.
One poster said it before, Divorce is the result of sin not the cause of it.
Christians live under grace not the law. We are forgiven our sins as a result of Christ's grace towards us. He already knows what and when we will sin (it just happens to be every second of our lives).
That said Christ set out a narrow set of rules regarding when you can divorce and then remarry. The only reason was adultery. Adultery is not only sexual in nature, but is any form of abuse (non-loving relationship) that harms the other person. Remember Christ said of you look lustfully at a womoan you have committed adultery in your heart and it is just as much a sin as physically doing it.
The bottom line is that loving your spouse is a choice not an emotion and if you are truly attempting to be God pleasing you will choose to love your spouse period, even if you don't have strong emotional ties to them. In doing this God will bless you and in many cases provide you with the emotional attachment and excitement.
You're really on top of the gay thing.
Oh, on the bottom of the pile of pamphlets instructing you to offer up the abuse to God, and Christian Martyrdom 101.
The author of the article should remember, "judge not, lest ye be judged yourself"...
Because there worth it.
Count me in as well.
I didn't aay it isn't. I just want to know where the Bible ranks it a worse sin than divorce or adultery, for example.
Actually, you're wrong. Christ said: "Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery" (Mt. 19:9).
Seems like women are free to divorce for whatever they want.
I seem to recall something about not coveting thy neighbor's ass...
LOL..what church is that?
Any church that follows the Bible. Exodus 20:17 in particular.
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