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Exclusive ACLU Area In Hell Nearly Complete
Broken Newz ^ | 12/28/04 | Matt Myford

Posted on 12/28/2004 5:33:23 AM PST by pookie18

Preparations for an ACLU-only area in Hell are nearly complete, underground construction sources said yesterday. The area, more than 3 square miles of "hotter than usual" turf, will hold members of the American Civil Liberties Union, an organization whose sole objective is the elimination of Christmas from public life.

"There's a mini-volcano there burping up hot lava and everything," said an anonymous representative of Otherwordly Construction, Inc. The company recently sold its soul to the devil for the exclusive, no-bid offer of expanding Hell.

The construction project is believed to be the first known addition to Hell since the 1940s, when Nazi and Japanese war criminals headed for their eternal damnation en masse.

Rumors have been swirling that whenever a particularly active ACLU busybody prepares for afterlife, he'll be "express shipped" to the ACLU area of Hell, "no ifs, ands, or buts about it."

A feature story in an upcoming issue of Architectural Digest will reveal the area of Hell for ACLU members. One editor said it "makes the lands of Mordor in those Lord of the Rings movies look like a bright, sunny meadow."

Analysts estimate the ACLU expansion of Hell increases 10 square feet for every nativity scene protested and 5 square feet for every time someone is forced to say "Happy Winter Solstice" instead of "Merry Christmas."

In related news, Hell is "expanding its horizons" by housing "foreign" folks, including Islamic terrorists. "It's all about diversity, right?" said a representative in Hell. "For instance, we're keeping the 9/11 hijackers here for 10,000 years or so. That may sound like a long time, but next to eternity, it ain't nothin', bub."



TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: aclu; brokennewz

1 posted on 12/28/2004 5:33:23 AM PST by pookie18
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To: pookie18

2 posted on 12/28/2004 5:54:49 AM PST by StoneGiant
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To: pookie18

Hell is too good for the terrorists


3 posted on 12/28/2004 5:54:56 AM PST by sure_fine (*not one to over kill the thought process*)
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To: pookie18

"an anonymous representative of Otherwordly Construction, Inc. The company recently sold its soul to the devil for the exclusive, no-bid offer of expanding Hell."

I was waiting to hear that they're a unit of Haliburton.


4 posted on 12/28/2004 5:59:46 AM PST by Kerfuffle
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To: pookie18
Preparations for an ACLU-only area in Hell are nearly complete, underground construction sources said yesterday.

The only problem is that they built this extension under the River Styx and they are having Big Dig-style leaks.

5 posted on 12/28/2004 6:13:40 AM PST by KarlInOhio (In a just world, Arafat would have died at the end of a rope.)
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To: pookie18

6 posted on 12/28/2004 6:16:05 AM PST by cfhBAMA (Alabama Republican Party)
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To: RepCath; Liz; IronJack; Grampa Dave; MeekOneGOP; Iris7; wkdaysoff; ApesForEvolution; EdReform; ...

ACLU Ping!


7 posted on 12/28/2004 6:16:48 AM PST by Jay777
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To: All
You can join the fight against the ACLU and their ilk by becoming involved with and supporting the following organizations:

Alliance Defense Fund (ADF) - http://www.alliancedefensefund.org

Thomas More Law Center (TMLC) - http://www.thomasmore.org

American Center for Law and Justice (ACLJ) - http://www.aclj.org

The Rutherford Institute - http://www.rutherford.org/

Stop the ACLU Coalition - http://www.stoptheaclu.org


Here are a few examples of how two of those organizations are fighting back:

ADF Contacts Over 3,600 School Districts Over Attempts To Censor Christmas

ADF: 700 lawyers ready to fight ACLU lawsuits

ADF: Pentagons' Warning About Boyscouts Is Absurd

Thomas More Law Center: Town of Palm Beach Pays $50,000 In Attorney Fees Apologizes To Women In Nativity Lawsuit


Additional information:

The ACLU must be destroyed: Joseph Farah supports Boy Scouts, urges Americans to fight back

Citizens mobilized to stop ACLU (seeks to consign group to 'ash heap of history')

ACLU fulfilling communist agenda

Revealing FACTS on the ACLU from its own writings

See how YOUR Senator or Representative ranks with the ACLU

This yahoo group just started on December 3, 2004 and is looking for new members


Let me know if you would like to join my ACLU ping list


8 posted on 12/28/2004 6:17:46 AM PST by Jay777
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To: pookie18

Dantes Inferno? --or Islamic Gehenna--the Anti-Christian Liars Union will heap unto itself the recompence for their
error that is meet.


9 posted on 12/28/2004 6:26:40 AM PST by StonyBurk
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Comment #10 Removed by Moderator

To: Kerfuffle

I think you mean Helliburton.


11 posted on 12/28/2004 6:39:29 AM PST by Sender (Team Infidel USA)
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To: Jay777

When will Christians sue the ACLU in federal district court for religious harassment?


12 posted on 12/28/2004 6:40:23 AM PST by Hebrews 11:6 (Look it up!)
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To: pookie18

13 posted on 12/28/2004 6:41:45 AM PST by concretebob (If you won't defend my liberty, who's gonna defend yours?)
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To: Hebrews 11:6
As soon as the leftist, marxist, whining mewling puke judges get thrown out.
14 posted on 12/28/2004 6:46:19 AM PST by concretebob (If you won't defend my liberty, who's gonna defend yours?)
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To: Jay777
FReepers like you are the reason we're FINALLY winning the war against the liberal scum. I'm disabled and sometimes even forming a coherent sentence is a problem . . . but my noodle seems to function as well as it ever has, which some would say isn't very well . . . LOL . . . but even on my worst days when I stumble about like a drunken sailor and stammer, slobber, and slur like the Village Idiot I can click on a link.

Your "historical" file gives me all the info I need to make plans on how I can personally help in defeating the ACLU. You give me the ammo where even I can be a semi-productive citizen.

I salute you, Jay. Thanks to your organizational skills . . . we're kicking some serious liberal-bootie . . . and FReepers like yourself have given this old, fat warhorse avenues to feel viable again.

15 posted on 12/28/2004 6:47:38 AM PST by geedee (History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid.)
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To: Hebrews 11:6

I spoke with a congressman about your question recently. His opinion is that the real problem is activist judges. The ACLU is an enemy, yet have the freedom to express and fight for their views. I don't believe the tax we pay should pay for their cases however. Still the best way to fight this problem is by voting locally and nationally for people who will appoint conservative judges. With fair judges the ACLU's cases are weakened, and at that point Christians could have a fair case against the organization. I'm all for the churches organizing and uniting their efforts to fight the ACLU now though. A good leader needs to step up and lead the way. I think awareness is the key.


16 posted on 12/28/2004 6:53:28 AM PST by Jay777
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To: Jay777


17 posted on 12/28/2004 7:56:36 AM PST by MeekOneGOP (There is only one GOOD 'RAT: one that has been voted OUT of POWER !! Straight ticket GOP!)
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To: Jay777

Thanks for the ping. If only that were true. :)


18 posted on 12/28/2004 10:58:59 AM PST by NRA2BFree
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To: Sender
Helliburton

LOL!

19 posted on 12/29/2004 1:26:09 PM PST by talleyman (Merry Christmas! ("And God bless us every one!"))
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