Posted on 12/28/2004 5:33:23 AM PST by pookie18
Preparations for an ACLU-only area in Hell are nearly complete, underground construction sources said yesterday. The area, more than 3 square miles of "hotter than usual" turf, will hold members of the American Civil Liberties Union, an organization whose sole objective is the elimination of Christmas from public life.
"There's a mini-volcano there burping up hot lava and everything," said an anonymous representative of Otherwordly Construction, Inc. The company recently sold its soul to the devil for the exclusive, no-bid offer of expanding Hell.
The construction project is believed to be the first known addition to Hell since the 1940s, when Nazi and Japanese war criminals headed for their eternal damnation en masse.
Rumors have been swirling that whenever a particularly active ACLU busybody prepares for afterlife, he'll be "express shipped" to the ACLU area of Hell, "no ifs, ands, or buts about it."
A feature story in an upcoming issue of Architectural Digest will reveal the area of Hell for ACLU members. One editor said it "makes the lands of Mordor in those Lord of the Rings movies look like a bright, sunny meadow."
Analysts estimate the ACLU expansion of Hell increases 10 square feet for every nativity scene protested and 5 square feet for every time someone is forced to say "Happy Winter Solstice" instead of "Merry Christmas."
In related news, Hell is "expanding its horizons" by housing "foreign" folks, including Islamic terrorists. "It's all about diversity, right?" said a representative in Hell. "For instance, we're keeping the 9/11 hijackers here for 10,000 years or so. That may sound like a long time, but next to eternity, it ain't nothin', bub."
Hell is too good for the terrorists
"an anonymous representative of Otherwordly Construction, Inc. The company recently sold its soul to the devil for the exclusive, no-bid offer of expanding Hell."
I was waiting to hear that they're a unit of Haliburton.
The only problem is that they built this extension under the River Styx and they are having Big Dig-style leaks.
ACLU Ping!
Alliance Defense Fund (ADF) - http://www.alliancedefensefund.org
Thomas More Law Center (TMLC) - http://www.thomasmore.org
American Center for Law and Justice (ACLJ) - http://www.aclj.org
The Rutherford Institute - http://www.rutherford.org/
Stop the ACLU Coalition - http://www.stoptheaclu.org
Here are a few examples of how two of those organizations are fighting back:
ADF Contacts Over 3,600 School Districts Over Attempts To Censor Christmas
ADF: 700 lawyers ready to fight ACLU lawsuits
ADF: Pentagons' Warning About Boyscouts Is Absurd
Thomas More Law Center: Town of Palm Beach Pays $50,000 In Attorney Fees Apologizes To Women In Nativity Lawsuit
Additional information:
The ACLU must be destroyed: Joseph Farah supports Boy Scouts, urges Americans to fight back
Citizens mobilized to stop ACLU (seeks to consign group to 'ash heap of history')
ACLU fulfilling communist agenda
Revealing FACTS on the ACLU from its own writings
See how YOUR Senator or Representative ranks with the ACLU
This yahoo group just started on December 3, 2004 and is looking for new members
Let me know if you would like to join my ACLU ping list
Dantes Inferno? --or Islamic Gehenna--the Anti-Christian Liars Union will heap unto itself the recompence for their
error that is meet.
I think you mean Helliburton.
When will Christians sue the ACLU in federal district court for religious harassment?
Your "historical" file gives me all the info I need to make plans on how I can personally help in defeating the ACLU. You give me the ammo where even I can be a semi-productive citizen.
I salute you, Jay. Thanks to your organizational skills . . . we're kicking some serious liberal-bootie . . . and FReepers like yourself have given this old, fat warhorse avenues to feel viable again.
I spoke with a congressman about your question recently. His opinion is that the real problem is activist judges. The ACLU is an enemy, yet have the freedom to express and fight for their views. I don't believe the tax we pay should pay for their cases however. Still the best way to fight this problem is by voting locally and nationally for people who will appoint conservative judges. With fair judges the ACLU's cases are weakened, and at that point Christians could have a fair case against the organization. I'm all for the churches organizing and uniting their efforts to fight the ACLU now though. A good leader needs to step up and lead the way. I think awareness is the key.
Thanks for the ping. If only that were true. :)
LOL!
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