Come See Our Hideous Slab

San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 12/17/4 | Mark Morford

[SmithL]

As the world swoons over France's soaring beauty of a bridge, S.F. gets slapped with an eyesore

And did you hear the one about how those gul-dang baguette-sucking antiwar French just completed work on this astounding new bridge, a soaring, airy, delicate thing erected in southern France, and it's all over the international press and the French people are justifiably proud and even the venerable Le Monde has deemed the new Millau bridge a "work of art," and the amazing pictures are being featured everywhere, for good reason?

And you look at the photos and see the breathtakingly elegant architecture (it was built by the same company that did the Eiffel Tower) and you read about the bridge's world-record height and its classy designer, renowned British architect Norman Foster, the man who also designed the Millennium Bridge in London and who believes, crazily, that "works of man should fuse with nature," and his bridge is already being hailed as an instant landmark.

The Millau. Its pillars poke the clouds and its design inspires the spirit and it will surely be a major tourist attraction for decades to come -- a fact that, of course, means little to most Americans, because most red-blooded patriots never venture past the Wal-Mart on the outskirts of their home state. But still.

And if you care at all about industrial design and the splendor of pure function and of humankind's aspirations toward anything resembling ideals of grace and simplicity and beauty, you take one look and you can only go, whoa.

And then you get to spin right around just in time to have your face slapped by Arnold Schwarzenegger, a giant slab of a B-grade actor and C-grade politician...

[SmithL]

Morfordite Alert!

Unusual restraint by Markie. He doesn't blame Bush until the 7th paragraph.

[Oztrich Boy]

And did you hear the one about how those gul-dang baguette-sucking antiwar French just completed work on this astounding new bridge, a soaring, airy, delicate thing erected in southern France, and it's all over the international press and the French people are justifiably proud and even the venerable Le Monde has deemed the new Millau bridge a "work of art," and the amazing pictures are being featured everywhere, for good reason?

And in para. 2 it is revealed that the prideful French had to get a Brit to design it.

[Eric in the Ozarks]

You expected more from the Frenchies ?

[ZGuy]

Here's the bridge he's complaining about :

[martin_fierro]

The Millau. Its pillars poke the clouds and its design inspires the spirit and it will surely be a major tourist attraction for decades to come

Until the Islamic terrorists there blow it up.

[demnomo]

Bingo!

[mvpel]

Let's take up a collection from elitist snobs like Morford and maybe they can come up with the extra money to pay for a breathtaking bridge.

[GodBlessRonaldReagan]

[Shryke]

Wonder what the French are going to name their new Bridge? The Reichsway?

[IGOTMINE]

You just beat me to that comment.

Or, how about in 2025, when Euro Muslims are hanging infidels from this bridge?

[Gaetano]

The problem is that the bayarrheans want the rest of the State of California to pay a large portion of the cost of this monument to their prodigious vanity.

[ArrogantBustard]

Morford is just whining.

Folks in Norfolk, VA don't bitch about this:

[Lonesome in Massachussets]

(it was built by the same company that did the Eiffel Tower)

and this

[SmithL]

BINGO!

You win.

[Psycho_Bunny]

DowdWithAPenis Alert!

[Lonesome in Massachussets]

Folks in Norfolk, VA don't bitch about this:

But people on the Delmavar Peninsula are starting to. It's starting to get too crowded.

[Semi Civil Servant]

And did you hear the one about how those gul-dang baguette-sucking antiwar French just completed work on this astounding new bridge, a soaring, airy, delicate thing erected in southern France...

"The Millau bridge is the Jerry Lewis of highway spans. Only Citroens should be allowed on it."-- Le Monde

[SmithL]

She used to have one, but he left her for Catherine.

[Shellback Chuck]

You ever pay to go across it?

[mvpel]

Sent him an e-mail:
=====
Mark,

Perhaps you could use your considerable influence in the media to establish a fund to raise the addtional $300 million needed to build a breathtaking bridge instead of a colon-tightening slab, and solicit lump-sum and monthly donations towards that end.

Surely people all over the state with refined aesthetic sensibilities would be more than happy to part with some additional money to build a monument to sublime civil engineering that will endure into the 22nd Century.

You should get in touch with the transportation officials and lead the charge. I'm sure that given the legendary wealth of the Golden State it wouldn't take long to raise the full $300 million and then some.

It might also be an interesting article, or series, to examine the details of the $5 billion cost estimate against those of the other bridges you've cited. There may well be a seamy underbelly of graft and corruption on both sides of the span inflating the estimate, which would make for outstanding investigative reporting fodder.

-Michael Pelletier.