Posted on 12/17/2004 6:46:14 AM PST by dead
It's Christmas lunch at my house this year. My mother, a practising Jew, will be at the table, and so will my father-in-law, a fundamentalist Christian. My children were bequeathed a rich religious heritage but they have turned out to be "none": non-scripture, non-believers, non-religious.
Before they were 13, they were declared atheists. "C'mon, Mum, how can we have a bar-mitzvah if we don't believe in God?" they intoned. And the idea of going to church on Sunday instead of to soccer struck them as ludicrous. If they had a religion, it was sport.
People with religious or spiritual beliefs will be affronted as they read this, appalled at the lax parenting they imagined produced such God-spurning children. I can see them pursing their lips.
It has not been a good year for secular humanists, such as my family and the families I know. We have witnessed the rise of religious fundamentalism worldwide, the new influence of avowed Christians in Australian public and political life and an emphasis on conservative values.
From the schools debate, where the flight to the private sector was ascribed to a search for traditional values, to the resurgence of the abortion debate and the rush to close the door on gay marriage, Australia shifted to the right. People concerned about children in immigration detention or Aboriginal reconciliation were reviled and mocked as members of the "latte set". The less poetic flat white is my drink of choice, but I took it personally.
Yet we secular humanists won't be silenced. We, too, are part of a noble tradition of non-believers, free-thinkers and sceptics. We are part of a tribe whose basic tenets are "Think for yourself", "Ask why" and "Where's the evidence?".
And we are raising the next generation. My children weren't cajoled or indoctrinated into atheism - and they weren't always non-scripture. Indeed, to our surprise they excelled in their primary school immersion in old and new testaments. Yet, unlike their parents, they skipped the phase of religious devotion common in young children and landed directly on "none".
Contrary to conservative claptrap, the lack of a religious upbringing has wreaked no damage on these children or others I know in similar households.
And don't think I haven't worried about it. Every now and then - indeed, just half an hour ago - I quiz the boys about this lack, just to make sure we haven't failed them in this regard. I see others get comfort and structure from religion, and in the case of teenagers in church-based youth groups, a fabulous social life and an early introduction to sex. (Well, that's how it was in our days in the Baptist and Jewish youth groups.)
The 16-year-old, surprised at the line of questioning, mentioned other parental failings. But he scorned the idea we had left a hole in him where religious faith should be. The 13-year-old logician pointed to a world where everyone thought their religion was the right one and fought wars over minor disagreements. "Everyone can't be right." Besides, he had never seen proof of God's existence.
The doomsayers predict children deprived of a religious upbringing later gravitate to weird cults to fill the spiritual void. But I doubt it. Doomsayers have a poor record in predicting the fate of children in secular humanist households such as mine.
They predicted terrible outcomes for children whose '70s-era parents never married. The children would be called "bastards", would be ostracised and would nag their parents to do the decent thing. But none of this has eventuated among the teenagers I know whose unmarried parents are, to all intents and purposes, indistinguishable from those who tied the knot.
For a while conservatives also predicted dire outcomes for the children of working mothers; that was before they, too, went to work.
What matters to children, I have concluded from the evidence, is being loved unconditionally, having stability, financial security, and rules and boundaries. Having parents who keep open the lines of communication seems basic, too, though nothing is guaranteed. Religious observance is superfluous, but exposes children to the twin dangers of guilt and boredom.
That doesn't mean we secular humanist parents have no values. On the contrary, we can be rather moralistic about intolerance, discrimination, materialism, selfishness ... But we can defend our values to our children because they derive not from a mindless acceptance of tradition, or a higher authority, or what is written in an ancient book, but from logic; and from observing what works fairly and doesn't in the world around us.
I know Christians who rather wish they could regard homosexuals and women priests more favourably. But they can't - they are trapped into prejudice by what they think the Bible says.
If secular humanist families miss anything, it is the rituals that mark the life of the religious: the baptism, the bar-mitzvah ceremony, the smell of incense and even the Christmas Eve or Rosh Hashanah service that links us to our childhoods. Some create their own secular rituals and that's why most of us get together for lunch on Christmas Day.
The grandmother and the grandfather at our Christmas table undoubtedly feel a sense of loss. We dropped the baton, turned our backs on their respective faiths. Yet their grandsons, members of the tribe of "none", are kind and loving, smart, decent and tolerant. They think for themselves, and they ask questions. You'd have to be proud of them.
Though it all, my children know they are loved with a personal love not just by us, but by the God who created the entire universe. These kids live in a universe with no point, no drive, no purpose. Those teen years will be a bear.
Okay fine. Prove to me beyond any doubt that there is no God.
She doesn't know anyone like that. She's just trapped in her own prejudices against Christians.
She couldn't provide the names of those people with a gun to her head.
going to be interesting here, bump.
Isn't it wonderful? A thoroughly PC family.
This just proves what I have been saying over and over in this forum: Interfaith marriages inevitably produce children with NO FAITH.
Nonsense. They believe all kinds of things without evidence, like "nothing exploded and created the universe," or "survival of the fittest." If survival of the fittest were true, and they thought they were the fittest, why is atheism on the decline and Christianity on the increase?
> Prove to me beyond any doubt that there is no God.
Which God? And what sort of proof would you accept that there is no Zeus, no Allah, no Marduk?
For that matter, how would a person go about proving that there are no elves, sprites, pixies, brownies, selkies, ghosts, Sasquatches, honest lawyers, UFO's, Atlanteans, Giants, unicorns, dragons or all the rest?
Better yet, why are we spending so much time arguing about something that took place hundreds of thousands of years ago? It's not like someone is going to produce a videotape of the event.
> If survival of the fittest were true, and they thought they were the fittest, why is atheism on the decline and Christianity on the increase?
Is Christianity on the rise in the middle east, compared to the rise of Islam?
"Survuval of the fittest" is a perfectly valid system. If you are surrounded by, say, militant Muslims... to survive, "fittest" means "Muslim." "Fittest" does not necessarily mean "most moral" or "most factually correct," it generally means "Most capable of getting along in the environment."
In short, the author is special, and would like a medal for it.
***My children were bequeathed a rich religious heritage but they have turned out to be "none": non-scripture, non-believers, non-religious.***
No, they weren't bequeathed a rich religious heritage. They were raised to put down religion by an idiot mother.
He's impressed with himself because his 13 year old has no faith? Or that his 13 year old has never seen proof of God? Funny, as one does not usually fluke into finding proof of much of anything... it is only when one actively looks that one finds things.
I do not fear skeptics, by and large they are lacking in dedication and devotion to amount to much other than annoyances.
Proverbs 22:6 - Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Secular Humanists teach their children that they should not believe in anything except their own narcicism, they set them on the path to being far less than their potential. So be it.. My children will need employees someday.
My point was that the lady in the article did not believe in God because there was no proof. Not believing in God requires a certain amount of faith.
> These kids live in a universe with no point, no drive, no purpose.
Yes. It will be up to them to find or create purpose. Exhiliarating! What better gift can you give your children than the goal of creating thier own purpose, rather than having it delivered to them on a platter?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.