Posted on 12/16/2004 8:18:49 AM PST by SweetCaroline
Holiday Tips -Take Care of Yourself First-Join the Discussion
"After enjoying sobriety for a few years I realize how many holidays I wasted, drinking in bars, drinking in the kitchen and becoming too drunk to join the family for dinner!" Magic
I lived with the book "Living Sober" for seven years. It offered me very helpful suggestions in some very tricky situations. I learned that no one cares if I'm drinking or not and that "what" I carried in my glass was rarely noticed by anyone. At first I had the usual questions and fears about social activities like, what do I drink and what do I say, etc. I was one of those people that learned to say "Not right now, thank you".
The holiday hype is just another world situation that we have to deal with and with peace and serenity in our lives, it just happens. We must remember that in times of hype and high stress, it's okay to withdraw and quiet our insides until we feel strong again. It took me awhile; it is not an overnight accomplishment. It takes time and that's okay too.
We first have to learn to take care of ourselves and that's not selfish. It's self preservation and growth. We can't give to others what we do not have ourselves and I can't be carried on the whim of other people especially when I realize that at the other end, I will be left with whatever has been created by the situation and the other person probably won't be there nor will they care about my insides or about the level of my peace and serenity.
If I let myself go off the deep end because of people, places, and things, who is there to catch me? No one. Except, GOD. If my life is right with GOD then me and God can handle anything.
Don't let life be controlled by any person or thing or whatever. Be in balance with things as they happen and let you soul be with the Lord and nature and things will work for the good.
Later, An anonymous alcoholic
Its nice to see that CNN has come out with this article because all they do is regift liberalism and socialism.
Regifting 101
5 Tips: The art of passing on a gift.
December 2, 2004: 9:15 AM EST
By Gerri Willis, CNN/Money contributing columnist
NEW YORK (CNN/Money) - Many Americans were shopping up a storm last week, picking out the perfect gifts for friends and loved ones.
But the truth is your friends and loved ones may not love the gifts you've chosen. Or they might give you one you're not crazy about. Many people get gifts they don't want, don't need or don't like. Those people sometimes pass those gifts on to someone else.
Call it tacky or call it rude, but the real name for this practice is regifting. Here are 5 tips in case you're stuck with a recyclable gift this year:
1. No guilt necessary.
The etiquette and ethics experts we tracked down say the focus shouldn't really be on the gift itself, but rather what it represents.
According to Bruce Weinstein, President of Ethics at Work, "There is no reason to feel guilty for regifting. The purpose of giving a gift is to give pleasure, to bring joy to someone's life. And let's say you already own a copy of the 'Godfather' collection for example and you know that someone else would like to have it, what's the point in keeping it? It would be wasteful."
Once a gift is given, it's the recipient's to do with as they wish, whether it be returning it or regifting it. Another etiquette expert we spoke to said people are not required to keep something they don't need or like. Good etiquette doesn't require you to keep anything, just that you are grateful when you receive it.
While regifting is not necessarily wrong, you shouldn't give a gift to someone knowing they won't like it either.
2. Obligation to regift.
Not only is it okay to regift, some experts say there are times you are morally obligated to regift.
For example, if someone gives you an article of clothing or food that you don't want or don't need but that someone else could benefit from such as a homeless person or a shelter, it's not only a good thing to give it to the shelter, you ought to give it to the shelter. As a bonus, if you do give it to a charity, you may be eligible for a tax deduction.
3. Rules of regifting.
If you plan on regifting, do it with a gift you recently received, in other words, the sooner the better. Otherwise you may forget who gave it to you in the first place and could end up giving the gift back to the original giver.
Also, make sure you give the gift to someone who won't possibly run into the first person. It would be terribly embarrassing if your mother-in-law saw the one-of-a-kind, handmade sweater she gave you on another relative.
The gift should be in its original condition (i.e. original box, unused) and do your best to remove the evidence by taking off all the original gift tags!
4. Consider the recipient.
Naturally, if you're regifting, be casual. You don't want to give the recipient the impression you bought the item, spent a lot of time looking for it, picking it out and ordering it.
If the guilt is too much for you, you may want to be honest with the person you are giving the gift to. You can tell them "I received this sweater, but am allergic to the fabric and I thought you might like it."
When you're giving the gift out of season -- for example, not during the holidays or not around one's birthday -- it is probably fair to tell the person you are regifting so you don't unfairly obligate them to give you a gift in return.
5. Accepting the regift.
A tip for the giftee: if you suspect you are being given a re-gift, never make mention of it.
If you receive something you're not thrilled with, consider donating it or passing it on to someone you really think would appreciate it or try selling it on eBay.
Gerri Willis is a personal finance editor for CNN Business News. Willis also hosts CNNfn's Open House, weekdays from Noon to 12:30 p.m. (ET). E-mail comments to 5tips@cnn.com.
Look at the hollywood crowd, so intimidating that many are afraid to even suggest they like the president.
I notice even in everyday life, if you disagree with a position taken by the majority in a group you are immediately attacked.
In our town there was a spirited fight over a new school. A parent told me she would vote AGAINST but would never admit it because then her child would not get invited to the birthday parties of the parents who were FOR a new school.
We often see freepers attacked for disagreeing with the majority.
Please don't get me wrong many of us are loud mouths when we get(got)drunk. The guy I'm talking about verbally attacks people, you know,"YOUR STUPID, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR TALKIING ABOUT, GO JUMP OFF A CLIFF and add a few F'Ns in there.
Yea, and you're point is.....??? :)
As a young married woman who likes to drink wine, whenever I say no, everyone looks at me and I can tell they are thinking "Is she pregnant?!?!?". I'll tell you it's awful.
I really wish pregnant women could still enjoy a glass of wine so people would stop making assumptions!!!!
Do you mind if I can you that? It takes me forever to find all those keys!
CHRISTMAS CARDS - For 40 years I have been sending and receiving Christmas cards. If it had been left with my husband to handle, no one would have ever received one from us and we would probably have totally quit getting any from anyone else a long time ago. - At first, I started out with a long list of everyone in the family including distant cousins and everyone else I could think of. A few years ago, I noticed we either didn't hear from some of them until well after we sent their card or not at all.
I finally decided at that time that a lot of people were
probably wanting to cease and desist on the Christmas card
swapping perpetual motion machine. The cost of stamps were
going up regularly along with the cost of cards, not to
mention the cost of time to sit down and write the usual
note and sign them and address the envelopes. To add to
the consideration, I began to have a type of arthritis in
my wrists especially in cold weather that would sometimes
keep me from even being able to press down with a pen on
paper enough to even sign our names.
So - - - bottom line - - I decided to just wait and see who
REALLY wanted to keep this up and who didn't. So, each
year I started waiting until we received a card from
someone and then answering it. (I kept a stack of
Season's Greetings ones to send in case we got one AFTER
Christmas from someone.) That radically reduced my load
just after the first year. Of course, there are some that
send them year after year first, and year after year I
answer them as I would any note or letter. More drop off
every year, and, of course, I always send first to my
husband's parents and his brother and sisters and to the
few remaining brothers and a sister of my parents who are
both deceased. There will always be a few elderly or
handicapped relatives anyone will not want to omit, but
I think many of the fringe original hundred name list I
started out with are secretly glad they no longer receive
a card from us nor feel obligated to send us one. (I
include a page of stamps in with the cards going to the
two relatives in their late 90's who still send cards to
their close relatives.)
On drinking - have a Coke, Pepsi or Ginger Ale on the
rocks and eat anything you like. Merry Christmas!
That is what I do too. So far I have counted 5. My urgency today are relatives who live out of state and since I did not send presents this year, I thought I had better at least send a card.
We are totally misunderstanding each other me=loud-mouth, obnoxious drunk. I was trying to be clever in my response to you, and apparently failed miserably!!!!! So just to get this straight, we are all loud, obnoxious drunks. Correct?? :)
JUSHH SHUT UP, 'M NOT!!! (hic)
You could say that the doctor told you it would interfere with your lithium treatments.
Well, by the Grace of God and AA, I celebrated 20 years of continuous sobriety this past July.
At first it was awkward turning down a drink with alcohol in it. Over time, the crowd I hang around with has changed, as no one seems to question it anymore. I ask for a cola or coffee. Most folks don't take it beyond that.
It has been quite rare for me, that anyone really presses me about it. Maybe it is the way I look them in the eye and say "No, thank you, do you have a cola or coffee". I have only encountered one situation where all they had was wine. I left.
We are presented with the full banquet of life. At the far, far end of a huge table are a few bottles of booze. Look at all the other choices I have, but only if I don't take the booze. It is, truly, a small sacrifice for a reprieve from a progressive and terminal disease.
(No, I did not always feel this way!)
Hey, I enjoyed a lot of the discussion that started this ping list, but I’d like to be removed from it now.
My way of quitting smoking 10 years ago, after trying as many times, was to just forget about it and shift my mind elsewhere the second the thought came up. I’m doing the same with drinking, and these messages probably don’t help.
Thanks for the good thoughts though. Best regards!
Not me!
I was always suave, debonaire, very intelligent and extremely handsome.................after the fifth drink.
Good luck!
Classic Laz.
LOL. Lithium Treatments might be the only thing they believe when I don't accept the offer for a glass of wine! Ha ha ha.
I was too busy being the loud mouth drunk that knew everything.
Glad to see you're working on the drunk part! :)
< ducking >
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