Share Tips About Dealing with the Holidays

ANONYMOUS ALCOHOLIC ^ | 12/16/04

[SweetCaroline]

Holiday Tips -Take Care of Yourself First-Join the Discussion

"After enjoying sobriety for a few years I realize how many holidays I wasted, drinking in bars, drinking in the kitchen and becoming too drunk to join the family for dinner!" Magic

I lived with the book "Living Sober" for seven years. It offered me very helpful suggestions in some very tricky situations. I learned that no one cares if I'm drinking or not and that "what" I carried in my glass was rarely noticed by anyone. At first I had the usual questions and fears about social activities like, what do I drink and what do I say, etc. I was one of those people that learned to say "Not right now, thank you".

The holiday hype is just another world situation that we have to deal with and with peace and serenity in our lives, it just happens. We must remember that in times of hype and high stress, it's okay to withdraw and quiet our insides until we feel strong again. It took me awhile; it is not an overnight accomplishment. It takes time and that's okay too.

We first have to learn to take care of ourselves and that's not selfish. It's self preservation and growth. We can't give to others what we do not have ourselves and I can't be carried on the whim of other people especially when I realize that at the other end, I will be left with whatever has been created by the situation and the other person probably won't be there nor will they care about my insides or about the level of my peace and serenity.

If I let myself go off the deep end because of people, places, and things, who is there to catch me? No one. Except, GOD. If my life is right with GOD then me and God can handle anything.

Don't let life be controlled by any person or thing or whatever. Be in balance with things as they happen and let you soul be with the Lord and nature and things will work for the good.

Later, An anonymous alcoholic

[SweetCaroline]

Once an alcholic, always an alcoholic Yes, we all should remember that!

[SweetCaroline]

Bring your own car.

ALL GOOD ADVICE BUT THIS ONE BROUGHT BACK SOME BAD EXPERIENCES....I can't tell you how many times I was forced to stick around a party I was uncomfortable at, because I rode with someone else.

[Jack of all Trades]

There are suggestions in this program , and then there are some "d@#n well betters". Having an escape is at the top of the latter list.

Your comment about "bad experiences" got me thinking. In sobriety I have been at times hurtful, uncomfortable, and unwilling. The list goes on, but that's a good enough sample. It is by turning bad experiences into learning experiences that I have been blessed with some measure of peace and progress. This peace is available to you too, but it can not be gotten in isolation. It must be shared.

Lest you think I am some enlightened soul, these are not original ideas. I am just repeating what has been relayed to me, and what I am coming to understand is the truth.

[SamAdams76]

Insert "FOOD" in this article instead of "ALCOHOL" and there you have my dilemma. I was at a company Christmas party Friday night and I had to say "Not now, thank you" about three dozen times as waiters came around with plates of hor d'oevres. Probably saved myself 1,000 calories right there.

Then at dinner, I had to circumvent a buffet table laden with goodies in previous years I would pile my plate with. I somehow made it to the end of the table with just some salad, a couple slices of roast beef and a few pieces of cheese.

Then they brought out the desserts. Cake, pies, cookies, brownies, cannolis, etc., etc. At least six people came up to me to say "Aren't you having some?"

Even having exercised restraint this entire Christmas season, my pants are starting to get tougher to button in the morning. There is something about this time of year that makes you gain weight.

It's been nearly 21 months since I started my new diet and I'm starting to appreciate how tough it is for recovering alcoholics.

[RobFromGa]

Temptation is everywhere. Isn't it great to say "No" and be able to actually do it?

As you are well aware, any new "diet" or self-control regimen must become a Way Of Life or you go back to where you began. And that never ends, it just (hopefully) gets easier.

I am sure that 21 months has changed you in more ways than just pants size. Great job.

[SamAdams76]

Thanks! It has gotten much easier. Last Christmas was tough as I was still losing weight and I was on even a more rigid diet. Now I can relax on the diet a little but I must still avoid at all costs sugar-laden desserts, anything deep-fried and things that are heavily processed.

It's definitely a "way of life" with me now. I just got back from my morning walk. Two years ago, I couldn't imagine dragging myself out of bed at 5AM to walk in sub-freezing weather. But the human body is incredibly adaptable.

[SeaBiscuit]

Merry Christmas to all.

One of the most important aspects of my recovery, especially early on is to understand the dynamics and respect the power of 'People, Places, and Things' and how it influences addicted people. For me it was very powerful and I had to avoid some Family members and some places especially this time of year. To be with those people or places, for me was very 'intoxicating' in itself, and I had to stay away. Not easy, but my friends in AA helped me a great deal, even tho I somewhat rejected them in 'place' of my family in the beginning, but time changed all that from a resentment at first to pure gratitude.

After time I was able to resume some of my past 'People, Places, and Things', but with a completely different attitude than in my drinking days, probably for the first time in my life I was able to 'see' the dynamics of all involved and instinctivly knew how to protect myself from myself. It wasnt so much them as it was me who had a problem with dealing with life.

God Bless