Posted on 12/16/2004 8:18:49 AM PST by SweetCaroline
Holiday Tips -Take Care of Yourself First-Join the Discussion
"After enjoying sobriety for a few years I realize how many holidays I wasted, drinking in bars, drinking in the kitchen and becoming too drunk to join the family for dinner!" Magic
I lived with the book "Living Sober" for seven years. It offered me very helpful suggestions in some very tricky situations. I learned that no one cares if I'm drinking or not and that "what" I carried in my glass was rarely noticed by anyone. At first I had the usual questions and fears about social activities like, what do I drink and what do I say, etc. I was one of those people that learned to say "Not right now, thank you".
The holiday hype is just another world situation that we have to deal with and with peace and serenity in our lives, it just happens. We must remember that in times of hype and high stress, it's okay to withdraw and quiet our insides until we feel strong again. It took me awhile; it is not an overnight accomplishment. It takes time and that's okay too.
We first have to learn to take care of ourselves and that's not selfish. It's self preservation and growth. We can't give to others what we do not have ourselves and I can't be carried on the whim of other people especially when I realize that at the other end, I will be left with whatever has been created by the situation and the other person probably won't be there nor will they care about my insides or about the level of my peace and serenity.
If I let myself go off the deep end because of people, places, and things, who is there to catch me? No one. Except, GOD. If my life is right with GOD then me and God can handle anything.
Don't let life be controlled by any person or thing or whatever. Be in balance with things as they happen and let you soul be with the Lord and nature and things will work for the good.
Later, An anonymous alcoholic
GOOD LUCK AND MAY GOD BE WITH YOU!
"We must remember that in times of hype and high stress, it's okay to withdraw and quiet our insides until we feel strong again."
You are absolutely correct! No matter what the situation, I reserve the absolute right to LEAVE any place at any time if other people's drinking begins to bother me. Or if I find I'm starting to want a drink. Or that my resolve not to drink is beginning to get shaky. Learned that trick years ago in AA and it has served me perfectly. That decision doesn't make me feel "less than," I find it empowering.
Also helps me to remember that "the circle of AA" is always around me. Even when I'm alone at a business function in a city other than my own. If I can dial a phone, I can access support. It's just that simple.
Of course, I still question whether I really, really need to attend an event that includes drinking -- as opposed to going to prove to other people that I can handle being there. It was pointed out to me that being motivated by that nonsense is the height of self-destructive thinking. Must say I agree. I no longer need anyone's approval on that level; do need my sobriety.
Truth is, it's been a long time since I've bothered to think about what other people have in their glasses. It's really not my business.
I normally decline a drink by saying, "No thanks. I've already had too much." That usually takes care of it. If it doesn't, it makes me wonder why my NOT drinking is such a problem for him or her. I hated drinking in front of sober people when I was a practicing alcoholic. It made me feel nervous, guilty, and self-conscious. So applying that same theory.....I'm sure you know where I'm headed.
Most people don't care about what's in my glass. One of my favorite things about sobriety is that I used to have to be half sloshed to feel comfortable (or alive) in a social situation. Now I can get there on my own, and I love it! How's THAT for personal freedom! And to think those silly drinkers "feel sorry for me" cause I can't drink. Seems to me it ought to be the other way around.
Live at least 1000 miles from your nearest relative.
OKAY, you were kidding me right???? I was sure afraid I offended you by sticking my nose in yours and LAZ posts.
You're right. Also, misery loves company. Plus if you are around someone else doing "wrong" you don't look so bad. It's awful. I hope everyone enjoys the holidays without wrecking their good sense and good habits. I know it can be so hard. Let's be strong and remain true to ourselves.
Funny story; My husband and his best buddy golf together every Wednesday and every Wednesday they get drunk. Now these guys are 65 & 75 years old. This has been going on for a least 5 years yet these two old koots are still trying to convience us wives that it is the other ones fault. Wouldn't you think they would find someone else to blame once in a while. We (wives) don't really get mad, but when we talk to each other we find it laughable because they give us all these stories every week. I don't even ask my husband. The first step inside the door and his mouth is going how he had to stay and drink just because so and so had a problem he had to talk about.
I don't like the taste of alcohol. If it actually tasted good and didn't taste like I'm downing cleaning chemicals I wouldn't mind. Smoke weed for the holidays, it's much better and has zero calories.
Don't eat much. Don't be too inactive. Don't create credit card debt.
Do pray.
Spoken by someone who obviously has never smoked weed.
Great post, here are my holiday wishes for all of you:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all;"
Additionally,
A fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wisher."
(Disclaimer: By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher who assumes no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.)
We are TERRIBLY offended!
Not once did you mention transgendered Native American Wiccan midgets.
I'm offended.
I wonder how many times I used that one!
Speakning as a former whiskey drinker, if you ever see anyone who likes the taste, you'll see someone who has had their taste buds removed.
Thank you, Caroline, but you didn't get to see me on that concrete floor in the drunk tank with my head in that drain hole in the floor with a broken nose and busted lips and vomit all over me.
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