FReeper Canteen ~ Camp Run-A-Muk ~ WooHoo! ~ Friday, December 10, 2004...XMAS Gifts!

My "VOICES", "kitty-katz", the Canteen Crew, and FRiends of the Canteen

[tomkow6]

 

 

For the freedom you enjoyed yesterday...
Thank the Veterans who served in
The United States Armed Forces.

Looking forward to tomorrow's freedom?
Support The United States Armed Forces Today!

   

...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....wake up!....WHY?.....we gotta go Christmas shopping for TomKow!......why? ......cause he's a nice guy....huh?....we got time....no, we ain't!....what we gonna get him?.....
....A NEW BURKA!......naw! he likes the ones he's got....we should burn them.....ya know, the EPA would get us for that...SHUT UP!... .....let's go shoppin'!....what we gonna get him?......I got some ideas...yeah, like what???....beer?....

GREAT HOLIDAY GIFT IDEAS!!!!!

Welcome to  Camp RUN-A-MUK!

 
Where the Plan Of the Day is: Mirth...Merriment...and FUN!
Kick back! Relax! Tell a joke or two! Have a brew !

The BAR is OPEN!

We've got Eye candy...Mind candy...and Chicken soup for the soul!

We got some GREAT ideas for those last minute Holiday shoppers!

(part 1)

STUPID VINTAGE INFLATABLE HAT

This piece of apparel is so utterly dumb, my "voices" could not convince a human being to model it. My "voices" even had trouble persuading the poodle to play along. To get her to pose, my "voices" lied and told her she was auditioning to replace the Taco Bell Chihuahua.
These vintage hats were discovered in an old warehouse where they had been hidden (intentionally?) since the 1960s. It's possible that back then they were fashionable, but my "voices" doubt it very much.
The hats come flat and folded, but they have little nozzles where you blow them up. Fully inflated, they become round with a pointy top, kind of like the hats worn by Chinese peasants. To keep from blowing again, they can be tied under your chin. And when you're done looking like an idiot, you can deflate them for use another day.
They come in various floral patterns, with a few solids thrown in. It says on the package that they can be used in the Sun or the Rain... but my "voices" recommend you use them at NIGHT so no one will see you.

DON'T BE AFRAID!

It's not some dangerous sea creature from the inky depths. It's just my "voices" friend HiJinx wearing a truly stupid...
BEANIE CRAB HAT!
That's right! HiJinx is modeling the latest addition to our ridiculous hat collection.
The stylish (?) Beanie Crab Hat is made from genuine felt, with hidden wire supports to keep the claws and eyes in position. The hat's adjustable, so it can fit a child or an adult who wants to act like a child.
And talk about FUN!
Just look at the joy on little HiJinx' face! It's amazing how a silly hat (and a 6-pack of Lowenbrau) can make a nothing day suddenly seem worthwhile.
You'd think such a stupid hat would cost a bundle, but you'd be wrong. This amazing fashion statement is a mere $95.99!
So sink your claws into a Beanie Crab Hat today!

 

My "voices" can never remember the words to our favorite holiday songs. But my "voices" don't feel so bad anymore, because these Christmas Humm Bugs don't remember either.
Never has something so CUTE been so remarkably STUPID.
My "voices" mean it. These adorable plush holiday bugs crack us up big time. Read on and see if you agree...
CHRISTMAS HUMM BUGS

are stuffed insects, each dressed in festive holiday outfits and carrying wrapped gifts.
When you squeeze the Humm Bugs, they hum Christmas melodies . They don't sing them, mind you. They hum them in silly insect humming voices.
There's a Butterfly, an Ant, a Lady Bug, and a Bumblebee. And each one hums a different yuletide melody. It is simply silly beyond words.
Just $8.99 each. (My "voices" choice, but if you order more than one, we'll make sure you get a FREE burka.)

From my "voices" Stupid Tree Ornament Department...
Barbecue Grill Christmas Tree Ornament
"I'm Dreaming of a Slightly Charred Christmas"

Push aside the angels and snowflake ornaments and make room for the King Of The Grills. This holiday, your Christmas tree will be smokin' if you decorate it with this ridiculous decoration.

It looks like a barbecue grill that has miraculously sprung to life. His mouth/lid is opened wide to reveal a sizzling burger, corn, and other grilling goodies.

If you think bears are frightening in the woods, you should see them on the battlefield. Researchers have discovered that bears possess an uncanny ability to operate heavy machinery and field artillery. In addition, their skills in map-reading and military tactics are unrivaled in the animal kingdom.
Now, my "voices" celebrate nature's unsung heroes with this remarkable set of...
BEARS IN TANKS FIGURINES

Each beautifully crafted figure features a heroic bear astride a fierce armored vehicle. One bear is about to throw a hand grenade, another mans a machine gun. (or is it "bears a machine gun") There are four styles in all.

NO "L" XMAS BUTTON
(Get it? No L. Noel. Is this clever, or what!)

This thing is part button and part puzzle. At first glance, nobody knows what the heck it means. But once they stare at it for a while, they should figure out that it says "Noel."

My "voices" have tested this button on the UPS guy, the Mailman, and the kid who delivers our Chinese food. The UPS guy and the Mailman got it after a few hints. The delivery boy got it right away, but he forgot to include duck sauce for our egg rolls.
Think how much fun it'll be to wear this button and challenge everyone else to decipher the holiday message.  FREE with the purchase of 5 BURKAS!

Now, for my personal FAVORITE!

If you think the North Pole is cold, you should try it with your pants down.

MOONING ELF!
Elves at the North Pole have a hard life. Santa works them long hours for no pay and a medical plan that only covers frostbite. So during their off-time, Elves like to cut loose and live it up.

Take the Mooning Elf, for instance. This mischievous little fellow has nothing better to do than greet passersby with a big smile and a shiny elfin butt.
The Mooning Elf stands (or is it "squats"?) a diminutive 6 inches tall and 8 inches long. He's made of colorful hard rubber, which should last through countless holiday seasons.
Whether he's out on your lawn, under the tree, or on top of the toilet tank, the Mooning Elf will make everyone who sees him "crack" up!

The "BEST Thing since sliced bread"!
That's what Ms Feather's sayin' about this gizmo!

She sez she : "...can't live without it!"

Some might say that the makers of the DVD Rewinder are scam artists, even despite their claims that the DVD Rewinder is for entertainment purposes only, but really, if people are buying them, can you blame them? I bought two to go with my centrifugal LP re-flattener and my cotton-tipped radial laserdisc demux pre-cleaner.
FREE, with the purchase of two pre-owned, un-washed BURKAS!

No elves were harmed in the creation of this opening!  Nor was Santa Claus!

(...although, a few females might have been groped...)

 

[tomkow6]

 

 

 

 

 

~ Upcoming Canteen Events! ~

If you're going to be away from home this holiday season, fret not! The Canteen is the place to be!

  Highlights

DECEMBER 24th: Who knows what TomKow & his "voices" will do!  Whatever happens, it's worth the visit!

December 25th: Merry Christmas! Join us for a fun filled day of holiday music. Get your requests in early. FReepmail MoJo2001 or Kathy In Alaska with any holiday music requests. Also, we can be reached via email at canteenusa@canteenusa.com . Please put "Holiday Music Request" in the subject line. Thank you!

DECEMBER 31th:  Oh, NOOOOOO!  Camp Run-A-Muk on New Year's EVE?  Who knows what can happen when TomKow & his "voices" host New Year's Eve!

New Years Day: Come start the New Years with Queenie! She's hosting a party!! Come enjoy the festivities! Plus, she will model her NEW clothes, purchased at the Salvation Army Resale store!

WOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!

Hubba!  Hubba!

More events will be added later!

 

 

 

 

 

[tomkow6]

 

SALUTE!

 

[tomkow6]

 

Today's FEEBLE

YOKE :

What's the difference between a fighter pilot and a jet engine?

A jet engine stops whining when the plane shuts down.
 

[HopeandGlory]

Good morning Troops, Veterans and Canteeners . . . Oh No!!! Tom's running Amok.

Prayers going up.

[Soaring Feather]

[tomkow6]

Good morning, Tonk!! Good morning, Canteen Crew! Good morning, EVERYBODY!

GOOD  

MORNING

TROOPS!

[MoJo2001]

Great thead EXCEPT...

There's no EXPLODING TOILETS. UGH! LOL!

Fabulous Bro!
*HUGS*

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

Click on the pic and I'll guide you
to the start of today's thread




FR CANTEEN MISSION STATEMENT
Showing support and boosting the morale of
our military and our allies military
and the family members of the above.
Honoring those who have served before.
CLICK HERE TO FIND LATEST THREAD.




CLICK BELOW!

Mission Accomplished ~
Operation Season's Greetings ~
Thank You!

"Operation Valentine's"
beginning
January 1st - January 21st, 2005.





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[tomkow6]

............next week..........part II.........

[tomkow6]

 

LET IT SNOW LET IT SNOW

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

White Christmas

Eddy Arnold - Jolly Old Saint Nicholas

Gene Autry - Up On The House Top (Ho! Ho! Ho!)

Peggy Lee - Winter Wonderland

The Bells Of St. Mary's

Veni Veni (O Come O Come Emanuel)

Ed Ames - Away In A Manger

Herbei, Oh Ihr Glaubigen (O Come All Ye Faithful)

Jingle Bells

Rosemary Clooney - Snow

SLEIGH RIDE

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

Elvis Presley - If Every Day Was Like Christmas

Sleigh Ride

Willie Nelson - Pretty Paper

O Little Town Of Bethlehem

Angels We Have Heard On High

O CHRISTMAS TREE

Roger Whittaker - Ding Dong Merrily On High

Santa Got Lost In Texas

Les Paul - Jingle Bells

Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer

Vic Damone - Deck The Halls

We Three Kings

Winter Wonderland

You're A Mean One Mr.Grinch

All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth

God Rest Ye Merry,Gentlemen.

Jim Reeves - An Old Christmas Carol

Joy To The World

Mario Lanza - O Christmas Tree

Nancy Wilson - What Are You Doing Christmas Eve

Sergio Franchi - O Little Town Of Bethlehem

Stille Nacht

 

AULD LANG SYNE (THE MILLENNIUM MIX)

Cantique de Noel (O Holy Night)

Here Comes Santa Claus

Johnny Mathis - Silent Night,Holy Night

The Philadelphia Orchestra & Chorus - We Wish You A Merry Christmas

Silent Night

Dean Martin -- White Christmas

 

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

Merry Christmas Bro!

[Soaring Feather]

Wonderful Camp brother. Fantastic music.

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

FYI : Look in upper right corner of "My Comments" page.
Set it for "Brief" instead of Full.
You only will get title of thread and who pinged you.
No graphics will load.

[HopeandGlory]

Thank you for the tunes Tom.

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

From the men in the Military and the Canteen

[MoJo2001]

Hey! There's nothing wrong with the Salvation Army.

And I know that I most certainly didn't write that as a part of the COMMENTS BOX!

Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Tomkow is rewriting the Comments box without permission from Queenie.

GROUND HIM PLEASE!

[MoJo2001]

Hi Mr.Tonkin!
*HUGS*

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

To every service man or woman reading this thread.
Thank You for your service to our country.
No matter where you are stationed,
No matter what your job description
Know that we are are proud of each and everyone of you.

To our military readers, we remain steadfast in keeping the Canteen doors open.
The FR Canteen is Free Republics longest running daily thread specifically designed
to provide entertainment and morale support for the military.
The doors have been open since Oct 7 2001,
the day of the start of the war in Afghanistan.
We are indebted to you for your sacrifices for our Freedom.

FR CANTEEN MISSION STATEMENT
Showing support and boosting the morale of
our military and our allies military
and the family members of the above.
Honoring those who have served before.
CLICK HERE TO FIND LATEST THREAD.

[Soaring Feather]

harassment that's all I get from him.

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]