Posted on 12/09/2004 5:40:58 AM PST by crushkerry
The 1st round of the tournament concludes today with four great matches. What do pretty much all of today's entrants have in common other than being raging lefties? They likely were all beat up a great deal in high school by the cool kids.
Also, today's field might take home the prize of "Group That Hates America Most". When you've got a ferret-faced NYT columnist who spews untruthful venom twice weekly, 3 current of former writers for The Nation, a former chairman of the California Democratic party turned pundit, and a woman who thinks the President owes his election to "slave states" it's hard not to conclude this is the most loathsome group as a whole we've had so far.
So buckle in, make sure to vote, and get ready for Round 2 next week when we will winnow the field down to a "Sweet Sixteen", as the quest for the "Walter Mondale Trophy" signifying the Most Annoying Liberal Pundit continues.
Please read below for the best and funniest analysis of each match anywhere, and a link to the updated and interactive bracket.
Jonathan Alter (#4 Seed) This whining sniveling little punk, who was probably a male cheerleader in high school has all the smugness you'd expect from a effete, wanna-be authoritative know-it-all. Alter, who used to work for The Nation (didn't you just know it) had the gall to the Bush Administration as "clowns", as if this midget hack has ever done anything in his life. And on the day prior to the election, the sawed-off little punk launched both barrels at the President's policies In one article he called Bush a "liar", hinted the draft may be coming back, warned of "hurting Grandma and Grampa", and finally warned that Roe v. Wade would be overturned. If we didn't know better we might think Michael Moore got a job at Newsweek. And what would a Jonathan Alter piece be without dripping condescension and "Bush is an idiot" slogans. In a March 2004, column Alter the elitist opined that "never fully inhabited the role of president of the United States. He still often seems to be impersonating a commander in chief." and even worse called Iraq "his war" Sure Jonathan. Take time to stop looking down your nose at the rest of us and you'll figure out why nobody likes you.
Craig Crawford (#13 Seed) A relative newcomer to the full time land of liberal punditry, this former Hotline (a good outfit) reporter recently turned MSNBC talking head. And he's doing his damnedest to out-liberal the Matthews' and Olbermann types that infest that flagging network. Crawford came out of the box hard, calling the President's surprise Thanksgiving trip to Baghdad in 2003 a "reckless stunt". Earlier in his career as a "Hotline" correspondent he and Bryant Gumbel engaged in some Reagan-bashing with Crawford comparing a contestant on Survivor as "Reaganesque", which Crawford explained as "Very amiable and non-threatening, and doesn't do that much.". Yeah sure Craig, he didn't do much - only ended the Cold War, brought the Commies to their knees and presided over the largest economic growth ever. And no wonder he's on MSNBC, given his ideology and prediction skills. Just 3 weeks before the election he said "You can feel the Presidency slipping away from George Bush. I guess when you're standing on the far left anyway, you're bound to engage in wishful thinking. No such luck genius.
Eric Alterman (#3 Seed) We have to be honest. Whenever we see this little punk on TV we want to smash to the TV set in. Watching him is about 100 times worse than reading him. Why, because on TV you really get a sense of the pompousness, elitism, and utter arrogance of this snotty little twit. What else can you expect from someone living in an Upper West Side echo chamber who acknowledged "I personally don't know ... well, I don't have to my house for dinner anyone who's not pro-choice, pro-gun control ... pro-campaign finance reform." And like most liberals who claim to be concerned about humanity, it doesn't extend to people they don't agree with. Take for example this sensitive caring individuals comment on Rush Limbaugh's hearing loss: "I hate to say it, but I wish the guy would have gone deaf. I shouldn't say that, but on behalf of the country, it would be better without Rush Limbaugh and his 20 million listeners". But hey, he's a liberal pro-abortionist commie who undoubtedly looks up to the Stalin's and Mao's of history - so wishing the extermination of 20 million Americans is small potatoes. As with most competitors we could go on forever about his anti-American, pro-terrorist stances, but we'd be here all day. Let's just say that among all our competitors, this pencil necked geeked is perhaps the person you'd most like to punch in the mouth if you ever heard him going off about his leftist politics. But being law-abiding conservatives none of you would do that - so get back at him the only way you can (and should) - use your power of the vote and see if you can make him the winner of the Walter Mondale Trophy as America's Most Liberal Pundit.
Joe Conason (#14 Seed) This must be hard for Conason. He's going up against his fellow writer in the socialist rag known as The Nation. We're sure Conason's got to be a bit jealous that Alterman has attained more "fame" than has among the America-hating left, mainly because Conason's no slouch in that department. Although he's more of a smear merchant for the far left than he is a "Idea man" (assuming lefties actually have "ideas", instead of feelings). You must remember that this toad-like scumbag was complaining about the exposure of the alleged dalliance John Kerry had with Alex Polier, forgetting that he himself was the leader of horrid, untrue smears about Bush 41's marital fidelity. And he's not much kinder to the current President, as the cartoon accompanying his Salon (they bankrupt yet) web journal shows him stabbing President Bush 43 in the side from behind. Which when you think about it is a perfect illustration of Conason. A cowardly liberal punk who can't face anyone man to man. One final example of the kind of "man" Conason is can be seen in column written just 6 days after 9/11 in which he used the tragedy to rail against GOP policies on a missile shield. Man, between him and Alterman it's a shame one of them has to voted out.
Paul Krugman (#1 Seed) Just in time. This week old "Ferret Face" returned to his malodorous outhouse also known as the New York Times editorial page just in time to show everyone why he's a #1 seed. He said he was on "book leave", but judging from toxic leftist venom he spews twice a week in print, we think he was in a detox program for Post Election Selection Trauma, likely involuntarily committed there after saying President Bush hates America and calling him a "radical" just after the election. Krugman is perhaps the most bilious, hysterical, "dirt" stain on the toilet bowl that is the world of liberal punditry. And as the great Don Luskin has pointed out repeatedly, Krugman is how shall we say it - "fact challenged". Actually, given how "smart" he supposedly he is, it's hard to imagine that the falsehoods in his column are not purposeful. he's so infested with hate that he just plain lies. And keep in mind this is the same piece of sh#t that accused the US military of taking action to ensure an outcome in an election without of course, any evidence at all. Actually if he weren't so offensive we'd be inclined to feel bad for him, as he obviously is tilting at windmills like Don Quixote. How else to explain his paranoid fantasies about right wing plots to take over the world. Oh yeah, that's right, he works for the NYT and teaches at an Ivy League school.
Carole Simpson (#16 Seed) Generally liberal pundits have to have had a "body of work" to make it into this tournament. All of us say dumb things in our lives and generally we give them a pass (or several). But Carole had one incident that showed her to be so spectacularly stupid, elitist, arrogant, racist and liberal, she just had to be included. The incident we speak of course is her post-election meltdown which you can watch here. Basically Simpson said that after the 2004 Election she was appalled that it was the "slave states" than elected George Bush. She also showed how out of touch she is by claiming how "scary" it was that kids get their news from the likes of Rush Limbaugh and talk radio, rather than the old media's daily regurgitation of the New York Times front page. But alas, our research showed this isn't the first time Carole has ventured into the land of leftist stupidity. Witness this comment on the election of Hillary Clinton to the Senate in 2001: "There, for all the nay-sayers to see, was the woman who had finally come into her own, free at last to be smart, outspoken, independent, and provocative, all qualities she had been forced as First Lady, to ‘hide under a bushel.’ Still she was voted one of America’s most admired women. Just wait. You ain’t seen nothin’ yet." Dear God, and ABC let this dingbat out to teach kids?
Ted Koppel (#6 Seed) At one time Ted was on top of the mountain as far as newsmen go - but that's only because there was talk radio, internet or cable channels. Now Ted is just your run of the mill left-spewing partisan hack disguised as an "objective" reporter whose more out-of-date than a Rubik's Cube. Problem is that Ted doesn't know it yet, and acts as if he's still in charge of his own little fiefdom. His most recent outrage was when he bent over backwards to try to discredit Swifty John O'Neil, and claimed that he had done so - because of an interview he had with a Commie. But why should we be surprised? Haven't we known for years that tin the eyes of the left, their soulmates the commies are far more credible than the evil American soldiers. And only Ted Koppel would find it "newsworthy" to devote an entire show to pictures of Americans killed in Iraq. Ted's also a strong contender here simply because of his long track record as an elitist liberal buffoon. Hell, they were writing stories in 1997 about his long history of liberal bias. Congratulations Ted, this contest may be the last time anyone pays attention to you.
Bill Press (#11 Seed) We've almost got to give Press some credit. He's been so left, so smug, and so arrogant for so long, we think he actually believes what he's saying strictly because of his sheer repetition of the same moronic talking points. Whether it was on CNN or MSNBC this condescending twit has never failed to annoy. After all, how else to explain his bitter, pungent and just plain ignorant attack on the Swifties? That one not good enough for you? How about when he tried to claim that the forged "Rathergate" documents would hurt President Bush's credibility. But perhaps Bill's greatest moment in proving he was a clueless lefty half-wit was when he showed the world that he has a September 10 mentality saying: "axis of evil" comment in the State of the Union speech revealed and "excess of ignorance". Yeah Bill, you're right. Saddam, Kim Jong Il and the mullahs in Iran aren't evil are they?
McGovern Region
Judy Woodruff (11th Seed) defeats Bob Herbert (6th Seed) - 70% to 30%
Dukakis Region
Al Franken (1st Seed) defeats Ellis Henican (16th Seed) - 91% to 9%
Gore Region
Aaron Brown (3rd Seed) defeats Joe Trippi (14th Seed) - 67 % to 33%
Kerry Region
Margaret Carlson (10th Seed) defeats Mark Shields (7th Seed) 55% to 45%
The updated and interactive brackets, including first day contests can be found here.
Ping.
Final Day of 1st Round in "Most Annoying Liberal Pundit Tournament" Ping.
I still can't believe Helen Thomas lost. I had her going all the way to the final four.
But that was a cheap shot about "male cheerleaders." Hey, I was a male cheerleader (in an all-male high school). There, I've confessed in public. (I'm so ashamed.)
Congressman Billybob
I agree 100%! That the Diva of Old Gas Bags should lose is more than a travesty.
If I may be so bold, I'd like to propose a special wild card election between the Big H, and another love-to-hate loser that should have made it.
I'm serious! LOL!
Anyone know if Brit Hume has picked up on this for his "Grapevine" segment? If he hasn't, he should.
Wow, I can't believe Mark Shields lost. I don't read the Nation, so I don't know most of today's group.
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