Posted on 12/03/2004 6:38:40 PM PST by qam1
I look around me everyday and I see beautiful women. It could be very tempting to go out and date them. Going out every weekend to the clubs and picking up an assortment of chicks like so many kinds of chocolates in a Valentine's Day gift. But I will not!
It has taken me years, but I am finally getting over the lasting effects of "Seinfeld."
Yes, "Seinfeld." What is considered the greatest show/sitcom of all time has also been the biggest plague/curse on my life.
Students currently attending the University are part of the "Seinfeld" generation. Society has branded us "Generation X," and that might be so, but within the all encompassing "Generation X" lies a subset of post-pubescent adultlings.
Growing up, we "Seinfeldites" would come to learn of the adult world through the dark shadow that is "Seinfeld."
There are two role models for men in "Seinfeld" -- Jerry and George.
If you could have your pick, Jerry is the obvious choice.
He has lots of money, travels all the time; his crazy friends get into all kinds of amusing trouble, and he meets women faster than a shirtless Colin Farrell at a sorority house holding DVD box sets of Friends and the most recent "embattled woman fights for her rights" Julia Roberts movie.
All I am saying is that he was getting laid, constantly. He was getting the fine booty that all men crave.
This left an indelible impression on a young man. This, I assumed, was the fate of all halfway decent looking men.
Life would be like an RPG in which you find the best women you can at the time, until someone better comes along. Then you level up. The goal of the game is to get the level up as much as possible while using the least amount of continues.
However, Jerry was not the only character that has influenced our nation's youth. George Costanza or "Can't Stanz Ya" depending on your pronunciation, has left the best minds of our time with serious mental diseases and complexes.
No matter how slick you think you are, enough Costanza in your life will cause you to doubt yourself and all you believe in. George was obviously the most despicable and interesting character on the show.
He would lie his way into sex, jobs, marriage, out of marriage, fake disability, race old people in 9-volt scooters, take naps under his desk, have sex with cleaning ladies in his office and was the cheapest bastard on the face of the earth.
As awful a person as he might seem on the surface, there is a little George Costanza in all of us.
And the more you watch him, the larger that little Costanza inside you grows, until there is nothing left but a 35-year-old bald man with no job, no prospects and no reason to get up in the morning -- except to read the daily news.
Just think what kind of a result just these characters have on the psyche of children. And these are only two of many sexual deviants and immoral miscreants "Seinfeld" would propagate!
What does a boy learn by watching Elaine or Kramer?
From Elaine you learn that most women have little sense of humor and are only funny when extremely pissed off.
And from Kramer you learn that you can get by in life, with no job and no money just by mooching off the guy across the hall.
Having spent years getting over the mental strain and irregular development caused me by this show, I have filed a class action lawsuit with Jerry Seinfeld and the creators of "Seinfeld."
The suit is being brought now, in part due to the fact that the DVDs were recently released, and I fear that I will have a re-lapse and years of therapy will have been for naught.
Students can get in on this suit by going to www."Seinfeld"_ruined_my_life.com
With a name like Shecky, it's gotta be good.
Do you suppose the author of this Seinfeld whine attends Whatsamatta U. ?
I doubt he could find Spotsylvania on the map...
If you're a Seinophile like me -- the dvds are great!
Just to the left of Frostbite Falls.
I enjoyed Seinfeld because it portrayed a series of profiles of narcissism. The last show revealed this (the one where everyone adversely affected by the narcissistic behavior testified in court). To have people who are so superficial, so extremely self-seeking is cynically funny.
As a counselor and minister, I do not run into some of these extremes, although there are a lot of toxic narcissists out there. However, today I tried to get a crack addict to go to detox and had to fire a person with a "does not play well with others" personality. Watching Seinfeld sort of destresses you from this kind of thing.
Rocky and Bullwinkle did not present the same sort of narcissism. I think the comparison you see is the dry humor, irony and cynicism present in Seinfeld. Rocky and Bullwinkle was a favorite of mine as a teenager.
"Lousy Democrats!"
-Homer Simpson
"The dead have risen and they are voting republican!"
-Bart Simpson
LOL! I see that I am not the only one who was raised on classic pop culture...
On the other hand, I never got what was so great about Survivor, American Idol or those AWFUL films Jurassic Park and Twister.
Same here... There are so many Seinfeld classics - the soup nazi, the no-masturbation contest, George's parents (I'd crack up just at the sight of his father - I'm laughing now!)
Similarly I could not stand Twister - I remember at the end of the movie standing up and saying that it was too bad that all the characters didn't die in the tornado (a little boy sitting in front of me turned around and gave me a dirty look).
And I thought Rocky and Bullwinkle and the Simpsons were (are) great as well. Funny at two levels - especially Rocky.
Possibly.
"Hello Newman."
One of my favourite episodes is the "Bizzarro Jerry" one.
It was really bad for me. I had a "Talking Cecil the Seasick Sea Serpent" when I was a wee lad. If we'd had VCR's back then, I would be illiterate as a result of spending every waking hour watching cartoons. Now, my kids think Powerpuff Girls and Sponge Bob are funny. Seinfeld, I get. But Sponge Bob? YIKES! Although, to give them credit, my boys love the classic Jonny Quest DVD's more than any contemporary stuff.
I (in my 40s) used to sit with my mother (in her 80s), and my son (in his teens) and all three of us would laugh hilariously at the show. VERY funny stuff.
"Look out, Haji!"
Ahh, good times. Good times.
Another thing, it was very Jewish humour (which, to my amusement, is identified euphemistically as 'New York'.) It may be an acquired taste, I dunno. Well, the humour was Jewish, Jewish producers and writers and Jewish actors and oddly enough, George's Italian parents acting like stereotypical Jewish parents.
Don't forget: "Are you the master of your domain?"
Whiners. Learn to laugh.
You could have fooled me. I've never watched any of these shows. No one in our house has ever watched Seinfield, as far as I know, so I've never even glimpsed it while passing through the room, Deo gratias.
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