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Seinfeld and Co. ruined my life
BGNews ^ | 12/2/04 | George Valko

Posted on 12/03/2004 6:38:40 PM PST by qam1

I look around me everyday and I see beautiful women. It could be very tempting to go out and date them. Going out every weekend to the clubs and picking up an assortment of chicks like so many kinds of chocolates in a Valentine's Day gift. But I will not!

It has taken me years, but I am finally getting over the lasting effects of "Seinfeld."

Yes, "Seinfeld." What is considered the greatest show/sitcom of all time has also been the biggest plague/curse on my life.

Students currently attending the University are part of the "Seinfeld" generation. Society has branded us "Generation X," and that might be so, but within the all encompassing "Generation X" lies a subset of post-pubescent adultlings.

Growing up, we "Seinfeldites" would come to learn of the adult world through the dark shadow that is "Seinfeld."

There are two role models for men in "Seinfeld" -- Jerry and George.

If you could have your pick, Jerry is the obvious choice.

He has lots of money, travels all the time; his crazy friends get into all kinds of amusing trouble, and he meets women faster than a shirtless Colin Farrell at a sorority house holding DVD box sets of Friends and the most recent "embattled woman fights for her rights" Julia Roberts movie.

All I am saying is that he was getting laid, constantly. He was getting the fine booty that all men crave.

This left an indelible impression on a young man. This, I assumed, was the fate of all halfway decent looking men.

Life would be like an RPG in which you find the best women you can at the time, until someone better comes along. Then you level up. The goal of the game is to get the level up as much as possible while using the least amount of continues.

However, Jerry was not the only character that has influenced our nation's youth. George Costanza or "Can't Stanz Ya" depending on your pronunciation, has left the best minds of our time with serious mental diseases and complexes.

No matter how slick you think you are, enough Costanza in your life will cause you to doubt yourself and all you believe in. George was obviously the most despicable and interesting character on the show.

He would lie his way into sex, jobs, marriage, out of marriage, fake disability, race old people in 9-volt scooters, take naps under his desk, have sex with cleaning ladies in his office and was the cheapest bastard on the face of the earth.

As awful a person as he might seem on the surface, there is a little George Costanza in all of us.

And the more you watch him, the larger that little Costanza inside you grows, until there is nothing left but a 35-year-old bald man with no job, no prospects and no reason to get up in the morning -- except to read the daily news.

Just think what kind of a result just these characters have on the psyche of children. And these are only two of many sexual deviants and immoral miscreants "Seinfeld" would propagate!

What does a boy learn by watching Elaine or Kramer?

From Elaine you learn that most women have little sense of humor and are only funny when extremely pissed off.

And from Kramer you learn that you can get by in life, with no job and no money just by mooching off the guy across the hall.

Having spent years getting over the mental strain and irregular development caused me by this show, I have filed a class action lawsuit with Jerry Seinfeld and the creators of "Seinfeld."

The suit is being brought now, in part due to the fact that the DVDs were recently released, and I fear that I will have a re-lapse and years of therapy will have been for naught.

Students can get in on this suit by going to www."Seinfeld"_ruined_my_life.com


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Extended News
KEYWORDS: bullwinkle; genx; getalife; seinfeld
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To: bushinohio

I never wasted any time watching this show, that's for sure.


201 posted on 12/03/2004 10:37:48 PM PST by NotJustAnotherPrettyFace (Michael <a href = "http://www.michaelmoore.com/" title="Miserable Failure">"Miserable Failure"</a>)
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To: sandyeggo

No, I can't spare a square. I don't have a square to spare.


202 posted on 12/03/2004 10:40:52 PM PST by valleygal
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To: sandyeggo

The bro, otherwise called the manssiere.


203 posted on 12/03/2004 10:42:29 PM PST by valleygal
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To: Luddite Patent Counsel
Touchy bunch, aren't they? I guess some of us just aren't spongeworthy.

Or maybe the dingo ate their BIE-BE.

204 posted on 12/03/2004 10:45:14 PM PST by valleygal
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To: Lazamataz

Not a New York thing. I've never been to NY in my life and it was my favorite show.


205 posted on 12/03/2004 10:46:32 PM PST by valleygal
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To: KTpig

HA! Festivus is one of my favorites. We sometimes joke here at home about having an "airing of the grivances". LOL


206 posted on 12/03/2004 10:48:07 PM PST by valleygal
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To: qam1

I loved this show.

"Not that there's anything wrong with that."
"I'm out there and I'm lovin' it, Jerry."


207 posted on 12/03/2004 10:49:10 PM PST by StarCMC (It's God's job to forgive Bin Laden; it's our job to arrange the meeting.)
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To: Radioactive
Self-improvement book? You recommend switching some nonsense for other nonsense? What's wrong with the classics? Or a good history book? Or a political analysis book?
208 posted on 12/03/2004 10:50:34 PM PST by Quinotto (On matters of style,swim with the current,on matters of principle stand like a rock-Thomas Jefferson)
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To: Luddite Patent Counsel
Man hands and an Adam's Apple.

Love her anyway.

209 posted on 12/03/2004 10:52:37 PM PST by Denver Ditdat (Ronald Reagan belongs to the ages now, but we preferred it when he belonged to us.)
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To: Mr. Buzzcut
Do you remember the one where George eats the eclair from the top of the garbage can and gets caught? "You, my friend, have just crossed the line between man and bum."

Or the art book that gets "flagged" and is unreturnable because he took it into the restroom?

210 posted on 12/03/2004 10:54:30 PM PST by valleygal
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To: Bloody Sam Roberts

Natasha Fatale


211 posted on 12/03/2004 10:57:48 PM PST by valleygal
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Yada, yada, yada!


212 posted on 12/03/2004 10:58:16 PM PST by Quinotto (On matters of style,swim with the current,on matters of principle stand like a rock-Thomas Jefferson)
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To: nickcarraway
I think Jerry was hiding something. He would always go dates with these beautiful women, but never for more than a few days at a time.

Remember when George starts dating the girl that looks like Jerry (female Jerry), played by Tracy Nelson, Ricky's daughter?

213 posted on 12/03/2004 11:05:22 PM PST by valleygal
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To: valleygal

IMO, one of the oddest scripts has Kramer acting out diseases for medical students. After a stunning performance in the role of VD, Kramer is typecast in the role of syphillus> This odd spoof actually mirrors the life of the actors, particularly Michael Richards (Cosmo Kramer) after Seinfeld.

There is a depth of humor in Seinfeld.


214 posted on 12/03/2004 11:09:29 PM PST by sully777 (Our descendants will be enslaved by political expediency and expenditure)
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To: bushinohio

That's why there are remotes or, if no remote, you can simply turn the channel dial. It's the same as with books one doesn't want to read, movies you don't to go see or music too. Of course, that's in contrast to the Falwells, Robertsons, Ashcrofts, and other ideologues who want everyone else to be able read or see or listen to those things they find to be "proper."


215 posted on 12/03/2004 11:15:27 PM PST by middie
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To: qam1

I used to enjoy the reruns until I found out Larry David wrote the thing! Hes like the biggest liberal creep in this town! So now I DONT WATCH!


216 posted on 12/04/2004 12:23:03 AM PST by Bush gal in LA (Armed with what? SPITBALLS? Zell Miller)
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To: qam1
"Life would be like an RPG in which you find the best women you can at the time, until someone better comes along. Then you level up. The goal of the game is to get the level up as much as possible while using the least amount of continues."

I know this is passing over most FReepers' heads, but this is the single most ignorant description of RPGs--heck, video games as whole--that I've read in a while. This makes the rest of the article look intelligent.
217 posted on 12/04/2004 1:43:19 AM PST by Terpfen (Gore/Sharpton '08: it's Al-right!)
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To: qam1
Students currently attending the University are part of the "Seinfeld" generation. Society has branded us "Generation X," and that might be so, but within the all encompassing "Generation X" lies a subset of post-pubescent adultlings.

Ain't NO undergraduate a member of Generation X. These are all the NEXT Baby Boom (kids of the Baby Boom). Generation X was the children born AFTER the Baby Boom ended (the Baby Bust). Additionally, legalized abortion kept birth rates down. We are the BABY BUST generation. The small window of smaller birth numbers between two larger population groups.

Generation X does NOT mean "20-something".

218 posted on 12/04/2004 1:54:10 AM PST by weegee (WE FOUGHT ZOGBYISM November 2, 2004 - 60 Million Voters versus 60 Minutes - BUSH WINS!!!)
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To: qam1

First he got a major point completely wrong. Kids in universities today are not part of "Generation X". (Heck do they even know who Billy Idol was?)

I think the popular term is "Generation Y". From what I understand Generation X encompasses those of us who were born from 1965-1975. We definitely didn't grow up watching Seinfeld, or seeing them as role models. Rather, we grew up during the end of the Vietnam and Cold Wars.

BIG differences in world view between those of us born during those years and the ones who came shortly after. For instance my sister was born in 1979 and she doesn't remember how the Soviet Union used to control half of Europe. Those in college now grew up in the 80s and 90s... with computers, MTV, walkmans, the internet, and relative economic security, after Solidarity and after the breakup of the USSR. Big difference in the way we view the world.


219 posted on 12/04/2004 1:54:19 AM PST by LibertyRocks
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To: weegee

hehe... looks like we both saw the same thing in that post! LOL


220 posted on 12/04/2004 1:56:10 AM PST by LibertyRocks
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