Posted on 11/29/2004 1:59:05 PM PST by Clive
My fella and I were going out of town. He was driving his "super reliable" car into which he pours nothing less than premium gas and synthetic oil and which, incidentally, is so much better and safer than my car that the two can never even be compared.
To boot, his car just got a tune-up and that became the launching point for a lecture about car maintenance habits and how I do not have any.
He should know. He's been working on my car all weekend. So blah, blah, I never check my oil (I forget), my tire pressure (um, my tire pressure measuring stick is broken), my radiator fluid (as if I even know where my radiator fluid is ...) and so on and so forth.
In fact, my car is in such shoddy shape, I should not even drive it anymore. Instead, I should just drive his car (which I'll simply refer to as super reliable from now on) but I have to remember not to start it in second gear because that WRECKS HIS CLUTCH.
In passing, my car-savvy fella mentioned that during his tune-up, the mechanic told him to consider replacing an ignition module or something of that sort. The mechanic, my fella concludes, is probably wrong and there is no problem with the car.
You should listen to the mechanic, I said, using up all the car advice I felt authorized to give. With your luck (he has the worst luck of anyone I know) the car will break down in the middle of a road trip and you'll be stuck there forever.
About 45 minutes later we were sitting on the side of the highway with the hazard lights on waiting for a tow truck.
That's right, Mr. Awesome-car-care-premium-gas-guy was digging around under the hood swearing and, to make matters worse, we gave the tow truck the wrong directions and were stranded for almost two hours at sub-zero temperatures in a car that would not start.
Two hundred bucks later, super reliable was in the shop and is there still, waiting for several hundred bucks worth of parts and labour.
In the meantime, the car's owner is driving my car (the one that does not have enough radiator fluid, the back doors do not open and is, overall, totally unreliable) to work.
Before I point out why this episode confirmed my attitude towards vehicles, consider this.
A couple of years ago I was driving my super junky K-Car along Highway 2.
I was just past Leduc when my tire seemingly exploded.
I pulled over, stupidly, on the left side of the highway and immediately realized I was stuck in the middle of six lanes of whizzing highway traffic.
I got out of the car, examined the tire (yep, it was flat) and pondered what to do next. I decided to walk to Nisku and call someone.
But before the traffic subsided for long enough to cross to the other side of the highway, some guy had already pulled over, put on my spare and asked me out for coffee.
Now I know I should learn how to change a flat and check my air tire pressure, but where's my incentive?
Obviously obsessive car maintenance, synthetic oil and all, does not eliminate breaking down on the side of the road.
Furthermore, if all of a sudden I learned to care about my spark plugs or my air filter, then so many guys would be deprived of the car-related lectures and rescues in which they secretly delight.
Besides, not knowing anything about cars means I generally listen to my mechanic when he says something needs to be fixed.
And let's face it, if it had been me driving ol' super reliable when it broke down, I could have got a ride back to town, and probably coffee, instead of trying not to die from the frost while waiting for the tow truck.
I'll bet he's still got that stick!
He'll show it to his grandkids someday.
I'll bet there's a picture of it in Popular Mechanics!
Heck, you're famous!
That sounds familiar LOL, I think I remember him telling me that once. He also made a head gasket out of shellacked cardboard, and there was some other part he wrapped in bacon just before he sold the car, but I can't remember what it was. May have been something in the transmission.....
LQ
Of course he still has the stick. That stick is a carefully designed prop they show every delinquient customer. It's the "unidentified goop in your neglected engine" scam ;~D
Ok Cowboy - no need to put a plastic cover on your keyboard - I won't make another mention of my car maintenance record......... ;^)
The new VW beetle is not the same as the air cooled ones. they were simple. Even I, with ten thumbs, used to take out the engine by dropping it on a soda crate, and a friend and I rebuilt it...
Better than a VW, find an older carburated Benz. We just sold our '88 420 SEL, which was easy for small stuff. they last a long time, and are much safer than the VW Bug. I still have my Towncar, for road trips, but drive a volvo wagon everyday, except when I need 4WD. Then, I pull out my Explorer (yes, we own 14 cars, and a motor home). Its a 95, and has 147k... I drive all of them. A LOT! We live in WV, but also have places in NM, AZ, and NC. I love road trips!!!
Be careful opening electronic things. Many times, there are live electrical storage things, called capacitors, which can bite you pretty bad, even when the device is unplugged...
but, nothing ventured...!
LOL!! Bookmarking.
If a seal is leaking in an automatic trans, you can pour a little brake fluid in with the transmission oil to swell the seal and stop a leak.
Won't last long.
It also made you an electrical necromancer, having become an acolyte of Lucas, the Prince of Darkness.
We have factory shop manuals for all of our cars... We use the others sometimes, but rely mostly on factory stuff! My wife gets them off eBay!
LOLOL! I love it. Thanks for posting that B4!And for the ping, Happy! :^D
Heh.... I know... I just love how every time I go to Jiffy Lube they bring me some card with grimy gritty sludge on it which they say came from my car, and right beside it is a pretty smear of clean oil, transmission fluid, whatever... "This came out of your transfer case" they say. For all I know, they wiped the card in the puddle on the floor of the shop ;~D
Sometimes I am in the mood to play along, and sometimes I'm not.
Well, they say oil never wears out, just gets dirty.
You were definitely testing that theory.
I've torn many cars down to the ground and put them back together, but I can barely change spark plugs in one now.
Then they show you yours and say, "This is an air filter on dirt."
I would like one like this...a 1966. Just to putz around town in. Gosh, I only really consistently go to church and Walmart! And if I got it fixed up nice and running well, I'd like to take it on road trips! The back roads of America, you know? Stay in little mom and pop hotels with my family...
Granted...sometimes the TV doesn work. But sometimes it does!
Dang. And I've got CASES of the stuff.
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