Posted on 11/28/2004 1:44:21 PM PST by woodb01
As posted half-way down the front page of www.NoDNC.com
To those who are concerned at
Focus On The Family and
Focus On The Family Action
Dear Concerned,
In spite of all the good that Focus On The Family has done in the area of family rescue, I believe you have missed seeing the major enemy: No-Fault Divorce.
It is true that divorce came as a result of feminism and hearts drawn away by self-centered, and selfish actions, but the major enemy, Easy Divorce, came as a result of uncontested changes in divorce laws in all 50 states.
All of us have done much to try to change the current anti-marriage, anti-family, anti-home, anti-male forces, but these efforts resemble someone trying to totally submerge an inflated inner tube. It cannot be done. It can never be done. Get it "down" in one area and it pops up in another one.
Until we completely stop no-fault divorce laws we are fighting a losing battle, much like someone fighting the wind with a tennis racket...plenty of holes for escape or free passage.
I truly hope that Focus On The Family Action will make this the first area of concern with relentless efforts exerted until this No.1 enemy of the family is totally destroyed.
I have called upon many "rights" and "family" organizations for their involvment, but all have responded with a definite "NO".
This is not a divorce issue, but a legal issue, defending the rights of American citizens guaranteed by our Constitution. These rights are: 1) due process - the right to hear the alleged claims of wrongdoing, with proof, defense, decision, and appeal; 2) equal protection under the law - the same legal "benefits" for both plaintiff and defendant, and 3) trial by jury of peers.
When divorce strikes, attorneys say there is nothing they can do to prevent it, but when you look at the constitutional rights, and the divorce procedures, there are endless actions that can be taken to prevent the illegal actions that go on in a civil divorce suit. Judges and attorneys can be confronted with legal actions about conducting business outside of constitutional law.
There is something seriously flawed (illegal) when the plaintiff in a divorce suit is granted a divorce EVERY TIME. Justice is NOT being served. This is NOT "justice for ALL".
A follow-up to this FORCED divorce procedure is "deadbeat Dads" being imprisoned without Due Process, Equal Protection, and Trial by Jury of Peers, over a CIVIL matter. That is illegality at its worst and MUST be ended. It harks back to pauper's prison...pay or go to jail.
We can all speak that we want to defend marriages and families, but if this issue is not addressed also, we are just fooling ourselves into believing that we really care about the rights of American citizens, and in particular, the ungodly treatment of our spiritual brothers. (75% of divorces are initiated by wives/Mothers)
All kinds of programs can be launched in support of marriages and families, but until we stop No-Fault Divorce our efforts to truly protect them are in vain.
I am reminded of a situation in the Bible where a giant named Goliath was doing his thing against the children of God without restraint, who were too afraid to be the eliminators. Then along comes little David, who had kept a good track record of what God had done in his life, and was certain that this giant should and could be slain - that the enemy should be dead.
Somewhere there is a "David" who has not yet heard about the situation with this giant No-Fault Divorce, but who will be more than willing to "step up to the plate" in the name of Almighty God, and put an end to his godless actions.
Is David a member of your "family"?
Please let me know how you agree or disagree with issues addressed in this letter.
Most concerned...and relentlessly active,
Billy Miller - Louisiana
brmiller (at) bellsouth (dot) net
In fact, one could argue that NV *delayed* the loosening of US divorce laws by serving as an "outlet" for wealthier people who would otherwise have fought & challenged their state laws in the legislature.
It's fun to blame everything on the "feminists," but truth be told, there were *many* Americans in the period between the 1920s and 1980s who supported liberalized divorce - not just feminists, commies, and liberals. In practicality, outside of a few states like LA and NY, it was basically possible to for just about anybody to get a divorce with relatively little effort, especially if it was uncontested by the other party.
And war, because it reduces the number of marriageable males, puts the surviving males in an excellent bargaining position.
Why do you think Paris was so hot in the 20s ? The First World War killed 29% of all French males between the ages of 20 and 40. That means an awful lot of lonely women who know that marriage is an unrealistic expectation. To varying degrees it was the same througout Europe. Lots and lots of lonely women who have to settle for what they can get created the Henry Miller world full of horny women.
Probably because it also has a low marriage rate when adjusted per capita. If everybody's cohabiting, only the truly dedicated get married, and they tend to stay married.
The states with the highest divorce rate are the Bible Belt states.
My guess is that it's because in the more "conservative" states, it's more socially "necessary" to get married (i.e. family pressures, work pressures, easier to get a nicer apartment, social respectability in general.) When the marriage doesn't work out, they divorce. Also, the more southern states generally have younger ages at marriage, and those marriages tend to not last as long.
Dude, you're downright shrill.
Thanks to fundamental economic and technological change, as of the 50s and 60s the economic value of a stay at home wife's labor did not justify her keep. Once her looks were gone she was dead weight. When you are redundant you are expendable.
What does Gramsci have to do with such a basic economic principle as that ? Or the timeless yearning of middle aged men for younger women ?
Re the cohabitation theory. That's a good idea. Hadn't thought of that. I'm just not sure how low or high the marriage rate is in Massachusetts. It's probably not that signficantly lower. I lived in Massachusetts (Arizona) now, and it is a socially conservative state in many ways. (We're talking socially restrained Catholics and a bunch of bright people who tend not to do stupid things that cause divorces.)
One reason for the high divorce rate in the Bible Belt states is that people rely on the bible for marriage guidance counselling and skip seeing a marriage guidance counselor. The Bible is designed to be a lot of things, but a guide to marriage isn't one of them. On the other hand, there are a lot of variable in play when it comes to marriage, so to blame the high divorce rates in the Bible Belt on the Bible is too reductionist.
Methinks someone got the s*** end of the stick in family court ;)
Yeah, that's kind of the impression I got as well. This is a voice of a man who's been screwed.
I don't know if I agree with that or not. Has to be something more to marriage that labor or looks.
On one hand, I agree with you. But on the other, your goal is even more lofty (and harder to reach) than the one I suggest. Healthy marriages are great. But one motivator to keep a marriage from getting too unhealthy is to know in advance that divorce will never be an option.
I don't understand how this supposedly will work anyway. Okay, you get the court to require your spouse, who presumably hates you by now, to continue being married to you. Then what? How do you force someone to physically stay with you? Get a court order allowing you to chain him/her to the kitchen table?
Exactly. You get it.
Wouldn't help, because everyone goes into marriage during those heady days where you just know it's going to heaven. Best thing that ever happened to me was a divorce. If I hadn't have left the **** I would have had to have swallowed the business end of a pistol.
"Look at the prison statistics. Look around you in the world. Sorry, but it is true, for the most part violence, mayhem and destruction are caused by men."
Don't try to change the subject, that's something that liberals do! Your post was in regards to no fault divorce, and "bashing females"....it had NOTHING to do with prison stats, violence, mayhem and destruction.
Obviously you don't understand the role of the liberal mass media and educational system, which reinforce this cultural marxism. Hopefully you'll decide to do some research on your own regarding this topic, perhaps you'll see the "big picture" one day. Keep that list of the 1963 congressional record of communist goals handy.
I'm sorry, I do not have a citation. :(
I found it somewhere on the web but didn't bookmark it.
One more thing: have you ever heard the phrase "Think Globally, Act Locally"?
I hear it chanted a lot by the environmentalists.
Guess who championed that phrase?
Lenin....
I have found the exact opposite to be the case. The Bible taught me more about marriage than any secular counselor ever could. The Bible's teachings kept my parents together through some rough times (too many kids too young, domestic violence, mental illness, lust for other people, etc.).
The Bible has a lot to say about marriage! The Bible teaches that wives need love most of all, men need respect.
The Bible teaches that in order to have a successful marriage, "a threefold cord is stronger than two" (you need God in any relationship).
The Bible teaches that a man should love his wife as he loves his own body, and he wouldn't hurt himself, he shouldn't hurt his wife. For no man ever hated his own flesh, but he feeds and cherishes it. Ephesians 5:28,29 In fact, the entire 5th and 6th chapters of Ephesians are FILLED with practical counsel for husbands and wives, and parents and children.
The Bible has a lot to say about being a slave to money and that the love of money is the root of all evil. Any wonder that money troubles are the leading cause of marital problems?
The Bible gives the perfect definition of love (1 Corinthians chapter 13).
God predicted and tried to counsel us so we wouldn't have the problems with in-laws that people have. He said (the following is repeated several times in the Bible, including Ephesians chapter 5), For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother and he will stick to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.
Not to mention the Bible is very clear on extramarital relations (tolerated by the world), and premarital relations (and statistics show, living together prior to marriage actually hurts the chances of a marriage surviving).
In the Bible, a lot of space is devoted to the relationship between husbands and wives. A lot of the Proverbs have to do with the relationship between husbands and wives. There is a long expository in the Bible found in the 31st chapter of Proverbs, extolling the virtues of a good woman, A capable wife who can find? Her value is far more than that of corals.
In my religion, when people get married, there are no trite traditional readings or words to doze through. There is a sermon detailing the wise counsel found in the Bible for husbands and wives. My religion also happens to have one of the lowest divorce rates of any religion.
If the people in the "Bible Belt" (and the world over) were truly heeding the Bible's counsel with regard to marriage, they wouldn't have nearly so many problems! It is distressing to me that anyone could believe the Bible is causing these problems.
Well when we take the vow, we say for "better or for worse till death" right? Problem with NF divorce is, one person can say, "sorry I am not getting a divorce because I took a vow". Guess what? That person is still going to be divorced and unless he or she obtains legal help, will be left with nothing. No fifty fifty because the divorcer writes the terms and they will stand unless legal representation challenges it. Which means both parties are now forced to agree to this divorce even if one has to go against their own conscience just to survive.
If one decides to end the marriage after the vow, then how about the old permanent separation? In this case the assets cannot be taken by one party. No remarriage might be a better thing than what is going on now with constant changing partners. Seems strange to me that both parties must sign and agree to marriage, but just one can decide there will be a divorce and the other has nothing to say about it. That is NF divorce.
The "big picture" is economic and technological change and the effects they have on society, not this vintage John Birch conspiracy stuff. In this the most intimate sphere of their lives, people are motivated by their passions and their interests, not "liberal mass media" or "the educational system".
1. The physical labor of stay at home wife no longer justifies the cost of her upkeep, making marriage a less attractive proposition for men.
2. The advent of the sexual revolution makes sex cheap and plentiful so there is no reason to have a wife just to get sex regularly.
3. Middle aged men don't need Gramsci to tell them to want younger women. With the advent of no fault divorce and community property men could dump their middle aged wives and get younger women. Privileged men have always had sexual variety with younger women throughout history. What is different now ?
4. Since marriage no longer was a lifetime committment, young women in the 70's reasoned intelligently that they had to look out for themselves and always have marketable job skills so their socioeconomic security would never depend upon any man's whims.
Causes of Sexual Revolution... Commie conspiracy instigated by Gramsci or...
1. Cheap, safe contraception.
2. Cures for gonorrhea and syphilis.
3. The gap between economic and sexual maturity for college bound young people.
Nor will you get any info on anullment...
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