Blue States, Lacking Martial Spirit & Guns, Cancel Plans To Secede From U.S.

Brokennewz ^ | 11/19/04 | Matt Myford

[Valin]

Plans drawn up by the Blue States to secede from the United States were scrapped yesterday, as would-be militant separatists realized "it's kinda hard to secede when you don't own any guns." The "Blue States" – the U.S. coastal areas and a few states in the Upper Midwest that traditionally vote Democratic – are feeling increasingly isolated and some Blue State People openly called to secede from the rest of the "God-fearin', sister-marryin', (and here's the key) gun-totin' Red States.

"When we were making fun of those Red State hicks," said a Blue Stater, "we never realized that, to secede, we'd need some firearms. They have guns and we don't. Onward, atheist soldiers, to Plan B."

According to a recent study, the only Blue State people with "decent amounts" of guns are "a couple thousand deer hunters" spread throughout rural Pennsylvania and "several hundred gang-bangers" in large California cities.

"Thanks to our liberal sensibilities," said an anonymous Blue Stater, "we're not even able to start a second revolution. It's difficult to set off another 'Shot Heard Round The World' when you lack the device that does the shooting."

Military analysts said the only serious attack that could be mounted by the Blue States (besides the hunters and hoodlums) was an advance on Virginia by the 5th Connecticut Watergun Regiment. "But I'm pretty sure the Virginians could defend themselves," said military historian Caleb Carr, "because they've heard of raincoats."

[bc boy]

a western canuck says right on brother...more comfortable that you would or could ever imagine...eh hoser..bcboy

[Texas Eagle]

Plans drawn up by the Blue States to secede from the United States were scrapped yesterday, as would-be militant separatists realized "it's kinda hard to secede when you don't own any guns."

Sheeeyit. As if we'd even try to stop them.

[bc boy]

a canuck from victoria,bc which is inundated regularily by your limo libs, who are always whining and sniveling about something, says the issue is not availability of weapons but availability of free lunches..if they bug out...they may have to get a job in order to feed themselves which is very bad liberal form..it is not the socialist way....bcboy

[45semi]

Because of how the majority of the people voted...
Some people believe that everyone else is rabidly religious, un-informed, homophobic, or intentionally ignorant / arrogant.
Because of how the majority of the people voted...
Some people want to boycott travel, boycott business & industry, and strangle other people economically.
Because of how the majority of the people voted...
Some people want to 'secede' from the United States.
Because of how the majority of the people voted...
Some people write hate filled diatribes that are stereotypicalizing, mindless generalizations about other 'regions' of the nation.
Because of how the majority of the people voted...
There are websites with such lovely titles as 'F_cktheSouth.com' and 'ChoosetheBlue.com'.
Because of how the majority of the people voted...
Some people have decided they have to move to Canada because our nation is somehow the scene of a disaster.
Because of how the majority of the people voted...
There is petty sniping and stupid bickering about what 'section' of our nation does the most for whom, which is better at what, etc...
Because of how the majority of the people voted...
Major news network correspondents make comments such as "this year’s election results reflected the triumph of the stupid ”.
Because of how the majority of the people voted...
The minority has decided that massive fraud occurred, that somehow a handful of people duped an entire nation.
Because of how the majority of the people voted...
The nonsense spewing forth from the minority practically assures that they will remain the minority for decades to come, at the very least.
Because of how the majority of the people voted...
Jesse Jackson is coming to a town near you with some crackpot idea of changing history, somehow.
Because of how the majority of the people voted...
The minority is willing to 'write off' entire states because their candidate didnt win there. Regardless of vote percentage won by candidate.
Because of how the majority of the people voted...
Some people thinking ahead to 2008 declare they share the values & morals of 2004's winners, even though they belong to 2004's losing side. (see bottom)

"I'm here spending time at my husband's library," she told the Lamp when we caught up with her after a Sunday camp meeting, "and of course, I always take time to worship God in as evangelical a way as is feasible, given time and location constraints. As you know, I consider myself an evangelical Christian, really a Christian conservative, if you want to know the truth, so it's nice to be 'home' again in the South, which I really consider my quote-unquote home even though I live in New York most of the time. Well, Washington, D.C., most of the time, actually, but if I'm not there I'm in New York, of course, but always thinking about being here, in the South, my spiritual home, where I shared so many wonderful evangelical . . . moments and . . . events."
-Senator Hillary Clinton

[Valin]

Some people believe that everyone else is rabidly religious, un-informed, homophobic, or intentionally ignorant / arrogant

You mean we're not? Darn no body ever tells me anything! :-(

[knarf]

"Cold, unarmed, and hungry is no way to start a revolution."

Uhhhhh ... General Washington prayed for and received Divine assistance at Valley Forge .... but, yeah, I guess you're right ... for the atheist, socialist puke that constitutes the blue stubbed toe in America, Cold, unarmed, and hungry is no way to start a revolution.

[penowa]

Yes, and those couple of thousand of armed deer hunters spread throughout rural PA will have their guns trained on the secessionists to make certain that they take nothing but Philadelphia when they go.

[Luke21]

No, they have guns in Wisconsin too. Recent news reports confirm that.

[B4Ranch]

>>Also set a maximum business deduction for meals of $20. Cap the mortgage interest deduction for homes worth over $400,000. Raise the income ceiling on the Social Security tax and include investment income.<<

Am I correct in presuming none of these recommendations will affect you.

[Chode]

FWIW, John Titor said CivilWar would start in the spring of 2005 with riots in the cities.

johntitor.com

[sionnsar]

Ummm... good plan, but as a resident of the Great Pacific Northwet, I'm not quite ready to let go of that. Especially when nearly all our libs are huddled in Seattle, Tacoma and Olympia == that state's pretty red out side of that.

[Dave Burns]

No you would not. They all would affect me.

[JOHANNES801]

Did you know there are more privatly owned guns in PA than there are in Alabama.

[groanup]

Well, it's a sure bet that the blue state secessionists would be able to rely on their "government" to protect them. Another sure bet is that the embedded deer hunters in many of those blue states would be "loyalists" who want to stay with mainstream American value states and would surely be our moles within the enemy ranks.

[JOHANNES801]

There are over 2 million hunters in PA.

[penowa]

I know that, but Matt Myford obviously does not.

[arly]

It would not matter if the blue staters had an arsenal, what they truly lack is a spine!

[TheRatHunter]

They don't need guns! We're perfectly willing to accommodate relocating every liberal into Massachusetts and then jettisoning it into the Atlantic. They'd be thrilled to hear that in a few million years, they'll connect with France!

[Kackikat]

It's sad that some will actually believe these lies spoken by Hillary. She is no evangelical, sheesh....hope she does not win in 08, praying so.

[ezo4]

thats probably what it will be :o) God forbid they meet a real guy. Stupid people