flag of turkey
Posted on 11/25/2004 8:24:44 PM PST by InvisibleChurch
"What should I do if I suspect my turkey was murdered?"
"Can you help me and my friends settle a turkey-related wager?"
"How can I break into the exciting field of poultry consultation?"
"Where can I find my turkey's serial number?"
"When I die, will I meet my turkey in heaven?"
"What if my turkey coughs?"
"What are your qualifications for giving turkey advice?"
Top Ten Questions Recieved By The Butterball Turkey Hotline
10. "If I put my phone in the turkey, can you tell me if it's done?"
9. "How can I be sure it's dead?"
8. "Transfer me to the gravy department."
7. "Given the current market, am I better off renting a turkey?"
6. "Can I buy an extended warranty for my turkey?"
5. "I've never cooked a turkey before--is it like cooking a raccoon?"
4. "When will the 2005 models be released?"
3. "Did you know your telephone number is one off from the gutterball bowling hotline?"
2. "What's the best kind of stuffing to shoot from a cannon?"
1. "Martha here--how big a turkey should I get for 1,500 hungry female cons?"
flag of turkey
My turkey has been frozen for a year and a half -- will it take longer to thaw?
Should I have taken the plastic off before cooking it?
How can you be so sure his name was Tom?
Will it scream when I put it in the boiling water?
As G*d is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.
Why does turkey make me want to sleep?
LOL!!
WKRP
The turkey has been sitting out all night, is it still good?
I ordered on with all white meat!
I can't find it now, but I once read where the episode of "WKRP" from which this lines comes was voted the funniest sitcom episode. I recall as a kid seeing the episode. Great!! Thanks for the memory.
I just saw turkey bowling on TV, not two minutes ago.
I bowl with turkeys at least once every 3 months ;) Seriously, they're quite good - I'm the one who actually got thrown out of a bowling alley years ago for lofting the ball too much.
Ha!!! I'm just home from my Christmas party (It's nearly 5 a.m. here...so deduce for yerself how good a night it was! *LOL*).
I had the turkey and ham! Just to be festive! Wooooooo...
Turkey makes me sleepy! (At least, I'm blaming the turkey! *L*)
I'm just getting used to the idea that they can shoot, now you want me to believe they can bowl?
Where can I mooch a meal?
You ought to come down here and join the Mullett Tossing Contest.
A Mullett
That turkey drop episode was funny.
My favorite, and I still laugh when I think about it, was the episode where Mr. Carlson put 'foot powder' in his sock, then found out it might be cocaine, and was slapping his foot with the line: "O my God, I gotta monkey on my foot!" [I still ROF every time I think of that episode.]
"....home from my CHRISTMAS party..."
Must have been pretty good!
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