Posted on 10/27/2004 10:51:55 AM PDT by presidio9
"Scientists have been proven wrong before. I don't remember all the details but apparently they had thought part of a skull that was found was the remains of early man. It turned out to be that of a chimp or gorilla."
Of course they've been wrong sometimes. However, in this case, they have the skull of this find. I put a photo of it right in this thread. It's not a chimp or a gorilla. Do go and look.
Smithsonian Institute
207 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20078
Dear Mr. Williams:
Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled "93211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline post...Hominid skull." We have given this specimen a careful and detailed examination, and regret to inform you that we disagree with your theory that it represents conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago.
Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of the variety that one of our staff, who has small children, believes to be "Malibu Barbie." It is evident that you have given a great deal of thought to the analysis of this specimen, and you may be quite certain that those of us who are familiar with your prior work in the field were loathe to come to contradiction with your findings.
However, we do feel that there are a number of physical attributes of the specimen which might have tipped you off to its modern origin:
The material is molded plastic. Ancient hominid remains are typically fossilized bone.
The cranial capacity of the specimen is approximately 9 cubic centimeters, well below the threshold of even the earliest identified proto-homonids.
The dentition pattern evident on the skull is more consistent with the common domesticated dog than it is with the ravenous man-eating Pliocene clams you speculate roamed the wetlands during that time.
This latter finding is certainly one of the most intriguing hypotheses you have submitted in your history with this institution, but the evidence seems to weigh rather heavily against it. Without going into too much detail, let us say that:
The specimen looks like the head of a Barbie doll that a dog has chewed on.
Clams don't have teeth.
It is with feelings tinged with melancholy that we must deny your request to have the specimen carbon-dated. This is partially due to the heavy load our lab must bear in its normal operation, and partly due to carbon-dating's notorious inaccuracy in fossils of recent geologic record.
To the best of our knowledge, no Barbie dolls were produced prior to 1956 AD, and carbon-dating is likely to produce wildly inaccurate results.
Sadly, we must also deny your request that we approach the National Science Foundation Phylogeny Department with the concept of assigning your specimen the scientific name Australopithecus spiff-arino. Speaking personally, I, for one, fought tenaciously for the acceptance of your proposed taxonomy, but was ultimately voted down because the species name you selected was hyphenated, and didn't really sound like it might be Latin.
However, we gladly accept your generous donation of this fascinating specimen to the museum. While it is undoubtedly not a Hominid fossil, it is, nonetheless, yet another riveting example of the great body of work you seem to accumulate here so effortlessly. You should know that our Director has reserved a special shelf in his own office for the display of the specimens you have previously submitted to the Institution, and the entire staff speculates daily on what you will happen upon next in your digs at the site you have discovered in your Newport back yard. We eagerly anticipate your trip to our nation's capital that you proposed in your last letter, and several of us are pressing the Director to pay for it. We are particularly interested in hearing you expand on your theories surrounding the trans-positating fillifitation of ferrous metal in a structural matrix that makes the excellent juvenile Tyrannosaurus Rex femur you recently discovered take on the deceptive appearance of a rusty 9-mm Sears Craftsman automotive crescent wrench.
Yours in Science,
Harvey Rowe
Chief Curator-Antiquities
SO9
Anthropology PING
no, really.
So9
Now be nice or I'll bite your knee.;^)
That hoax is well over a century old and anthropologists are WELL beyond that.
I swear sometimes I think I should create a new group of people, separate from the creationists AND the atheists in science...just so I can thumb my nose at both of them and tell them what idiots THEY are. Will sure as hell feel damn good....
I'm guessing that there is almost no evidence that you would consider sufficient when it comes to proving the theory of evolution.
Ya shoulda been bombing in New Zealand. :)
So how did J.R.R. Tolkien know about these guys? ;o)
LOL - great letter, thanks for printing.
I think it's called the *Theory* of Evolution for a reason. If it was proven it would be called a law or something. As to what evidence would be sufficient to prove it, I suppose if we could hang around for 2,000,000 years or so we might see the theory in action.
Homo Floresiensis was part of the Asian dispersals of the descendants of Homo ergaster and Homo erectus. Truely an amazing find and incredible that a branch of H.erectus survived up until almost the beginning of recorded history.
Apparently being erect didn't really mean much for him. I wonder if they died due to short jokes.
LOL
a) Some of the skeleton's features hark back to much earlier in the hominin sequence than the earliest Homo erectus finds from Java. Some of the 1.8-million-year-old finds from Dmanisis in Georgia are the closest match.
b) The little hominins lived at Liang until about 12,000 years ago. This is remarkably recent and overlaps by tens of thousands of years with modern humans in the region. Documenting the nature of interaction between us and them is a future priority.
c) The complexity of behaviour exhibited by the little hominins is unexpected given their small brain size. Communal hunting of Stegodon, use of fire and making sophisticated stone tools are all evident in associated deposits.
"These stories suggest there may be more than a grain of truth to the idea that they were still living on Flores up until the Dutch arrived in the 1500s," Professor Roberts said. "The stories suggest they lived in caves. The villagers would leave gourds with food out for them to eat, but legend has it these were the guests from hell. They'd eat everything, including the gourds."
Interesting read.
Precursor of modern Democrats?
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