Posted on 10/24/2004 5:17:55 AM PDT by NotchJohnson
Heady times. The US election draws ever nearer, and while the rest of the world bangs its head against the floorboards screaming "Please God, not Bush!", the candidates clash head to head in a series of live televised debates. It's a bit like American Idol, but with terrifying global ramifications. You've got to laugh. Or have you? Have you seen the debates? I urge you to do so. The exemplary BBC News website (www.bbc.co.uk/news) hosts unexpurgated streaming footage of all the recent debates, plus clips from previous encounters, through Reagan and Carter, all the way back to Nixon versus JFK.
Watching Bush v Kerry, two things immediately strike you. First, the opening explanation of the rules makes the whole thing feel like a Radio 4 parlour game. And second, George W Bush is... well, he's... Jesus, where do you start?
The internet's a-buzz with speculation that Bush has been wearing a wire, receiving help from some off-stage lackey. Screen grabs appearing to show a mysterious bulge in the centre of his back are being traded like Top Trumps. Prior to seeing the debate footage, I regarded this with healthy scepticism: the whole "wire" scandal was just wishful thinking on behalf of some amateur Michael Moores, I figured. And then I watched the footage.
Quite frankly, the man's either wired or mad. If it's the former, he should be flung out of office: tarred, feathered and kicked in the nuts. And if it's the latter, his behaviour goes beyond strange, and heads toward terrifying. He looks like he's listening to something we can't hear. He blinks, he mumbles, he lets a sentence trail off, starts a new one, then reverts back to whatever he was saying in the first place. Each time he recalls a statistic (either from memory or the voice in his head), he flashes us a dumb little smile, like a toddler proudly showing off its first bowel movement. Forgive me for employing the language of the playground, but the man's a tool.
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fundingway.com So I sit there and I watch this and I start scratching my head, because I'm trying to work out why Bush is afforded any kind of credence or respect whatsoever in his native country. His performance is so transparently bizarre, so feeble and stumbling, it's a miracle he wasn't laughed off the stage. And then I start hunting around the internet, looking to see what the US media made of the whole "wire" debate. And they just let it die. They mentioned it in passing, called it a wacko conspiracy theory and moved on.
Yet whether it turns out to be true or not, right now it's certainly plausible - even if you discount the bulge photos and simply watch the president's ridiculous smirking face. Perhaps he isn't wired. Perhaps he's just gone gaga. If you don't ask the questions, you'll never know the truth.
The silence is all the more troubling since in the past the US news media has had no problem at all covering other wacko conspiracy theories, ones with far less evidence to support them. (For infuriating confirmation of this, watch the second part of the must-see documentary series The Power Of Nightmares (Wed, 9pm, BBC2) and witness the absurd hounding of Bill Clinton over the Whitewater and Vince Foster non-scandals.)
Throughout the debate, John Kerry, for his part, looks and sounds a bit like a haunted tree. But at least he's not a lying, sniggering, drink-driving, selfish, reckless, ignorant, dangerous, backward, drooling, twitching, blinking, mouse-faced little cheat. And besides, in a fight between a tree and a bush, I know who I'd favour.
On November 2, the entire civilised world will be praying, praying Bush loses. And Sod's law dictates he'll probably win, thereby disproving the existence of God once and for all. The world will endure four more years of idiocy, arrogance and unwarranted bloodshed, with no benevolent deity to watch over and save us. John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, John Hinckley Jr - where are you now that we need you?
Wow, these people ned to shut up.
I have a feeling that writer will be seeking a new job sometime soon. That kind of garbage will anger a lot of Brits as well as Americans.
Um...yeah he (Kerry) is.
This was posted yesterday and everyone from the Secret Service to every British Consulate and Embassy has been notified that we are some kind of pissed..
"This was posted yesterday and everyone from the Secret Service to every British Consulate and Embassy has been notified that we are some kind of pissed.."
Outstanding!!
"John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, John Hinckley Jr - where are you now that we need you"
I'd like to give this guy directions to where JW Booth & LH Oswald are right now.
Wonder if this Brooker fool should be placed on the do-not-
admit to the U.S. list, along with that other British genuis
Cat Stevens.
However, those who do care should be kind enough to let Charlie Brooker know.
Here's his address:
charlie.brooker@zeppotron.com.
Surely he'll welcome comments from Freepers.
Charlie, care to step out to the parking lot with me. BTW tell one of your chaps your blood type before we go. I hope your public health people have enough screws to put your jaws back together with. Wanker!
Best not to take drugs and write.
Its time to take focus of the advertisers as well. Who's paying for this stuff on the web....who's paying the Guardian Unlimiteds bills...
21st.com
aarp.thehartford.com
americanexpress.com
Toyota
instantcarloan.coom
autospecialfinance.org
fundingway.com
I hope the Secret Service is paying these advertisers a visit. This is a clear call from these companys and sponsers to assasination of a US President.
Crackpots only need a suggestion from a celebrity and they'll act on it. That this article was printed at all is an outrage. Fox now talking about it.
I don't take anything the British say about anything to seriously...but if anyone in this country did the same thing they would be guilty of a crime..imagine if you will some comedian saying someone should assassinate Toney Blair..I think you might hear a great outcry from the yellow-toothed British. This kind of thing, left or right should not be allowed, comedian or no.
Wonder if this Brooker fool should be placed on the do-not-
admit to the U.S. list, along with that other British genuis
Cat Stevens.
He should be placed on the admit-one to solitary for life list alone with a few other waco instigators. What's the difference between the instigator and the mindless soul that carries out these threats.
Fox News discussing this Guardian article NOW
Just like we are.
Unfortunately, the public responses in Britain won't see the same level of coverage.
It's hard not to feel smugly superior to an ash hole like this.
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