Posted on 10/21/2004 12:08:43 PM PDT by pookie18
The records of Democratic Presidential Candidate John Kerry's 1988 divorce from Wall Street heiress Julia Thorne were unsealed yesterday, revealing that Kerry has always been a condescending and uninteresting prick. It is uncertain whether revelations of sexual "JFK" role-playing and narcissistic orgasms will hurt his presidential campaign. Unlike Jack Ryan, whose Senate campaign was derailed when his divorce records revealed that he pressured ex-wife Jeri Ryan to attend sex clubs, Kerry's divorce records reveal a rather pedestrian, if not somewhat ego- and Kennedy-centric sex life.
Thorne swore under oath that Kerry, "often made me dress up like Jackie O ['Nassis] or Marilyn Monroe, and would make me call him 'JFK.' His idea of foreplay was either to ask whether, 'Mrs. President wanted to solve the 'Kerry Missile Crisis,' or to say, 'who wants to have sex with John Kerry? Bring-it-on.'" She also claimed he regularly yelled out his own name during orgasm.
The records reveal that the couple rarely fought, if only because Kerry would vaguely claim both sides of an argument. "Often I'd say something like, 'John, you need to watch the children more; I need time to myself,'" Thorne claims in an affidavit, "and he'd say, 'Yes, I agree that husbands should contribute to the household, but only if they aren't working overtime to afford healthcare.' He thought he was so clever. And if trying to 'confuse' me with his 'intellect' didn't work, he'd say something like, 'you know, Julia, when I was in Vietnam I had to watch over the children of a nation.' He used the Vietnam thing a lot; it usually made no sense."
In fact, Thorne's main reason for filing for divorce was simply that, "John spent an inordinate amount of time looking in the mirror, talking to himself. When he did address me, it was usually in the form of a rhetorical question, like ' how good does my hair look today?' or a quasi-joke, like 'on a scale of nine to ten, how attractive am I?' It was almost as though I existed solely to confirm his egocentricity."
omg!!
i didn't think it was a joke until someone asked then i looked at the source
scary thing is that it sounds just like kerry would be like in my mind
darn lol
Ping. You gotta see this one.
Aye, I know - but that doesn't change my answer. Kerry's a vain turd.
She already is one, but if you really want one...send your request to brokennews.com (they did this one).
THE TRUTH HURTS!
That's easy...do a search by date for "toons"...
Is it people are that gullable, or does it say something about John Kerry that people would buy it?
Kerry-Heinz seemed particularly upset at the Rev. Al Sharpton’s characterization of him as a “lazy ass cracker who’s never worked a day in his life.” Kerry-Heinz’s voice almost displayed emotion as he told the press,
I fall for this @heet every time... I get into the first two or three lines... and then it's GOTCHA!!!
nick
ROTFLOL!! I agree .. it's just so easy to believe .. that makes it even funnier!!
Once it said "Kerry unsealed records", you should have known it was a complete fabrication.
Gimme a break, the subject is Skerry....I mean it's got the perfect level of nuance and everything....lol...
I could almost believe it....
except I would imagine his ex-wife to be a bit more with-it....
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