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GEORGE BUSH WILL SET FIRE TO YOUR HOUSE.... [Jonah Goldberg] LOL Must Read
National Review Online: The Corner ^
| 10-20-4
| Jonah Goldberg
Posted on 10/20/2004 6:24:03 AM PDT by Petronski
GEORGE BUSH WILL SET FIRE TO YOUR HOUSE.... [Jonah Goldberg]
Shoot your dog, eat your best cold fried chicken, jam your Xerox machine, grope your wife, give nukes to the Crips and the Bloods, raise taxes on the poor to 110%, give Margaret Cho a two hour nightly "comedy" special, replace vegetables with sand on all high school cafeteria menus and require that all women be handcuffed to their basement radiators until they breed the requisite 3 Aryan children this countries needs. If minority women can't churn out the good stuff, they stay handcuffed. And -- oh yeah -- he'll reinstitute the draft.
Why doesn't John Kerry say all of these things instead of merely saying Bush will bring back the draft? I mean whenever he's asked "Why are you saying this when the president has denied it categorically?" He responds, "Well, he also said there were weapons of mass destruction. He has no credibility."
Never mind the asinine cynicism involved in that Kerry also said he thought there were WMDs (don't make me go through the list of others who did as well). But if you aren't bound by evidence and the President's denials don't count, why not really cut loose with some scary scenarios. The president will require that all taco meat be replaced with blue cheese. A 500 foot nude statue of Helen Thomas will replace the Washington Monument -- that towering symbol of our phallocracy. Puppies will burn, kittens will fly, diapers will chafe -- all if George W. Bush is elected.
TOPICS: Front Page News; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: fearmongering; gwb2004; kerry; kerrystrategy
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To: Petronski
The idea of a nude statue of Helen Thomas is the scariest thing imaginable. Five hundred feet tall!
In a miniskirt and a thong!
41
posted on
10/20/2004 7:11:08 AM PDT
by
TC Rider
(The United States Constitution © 1791. All Rights Reserved.)
To: kittymyrib
You're right, something like this WOULD make a great ad. There's have to be a disclaimer at the end about it being humor. The Dems will throw a hissy anyway and look stupid again when the WH responds by informing them the ad SAID it was HUMOR.
42
posted on
10/20/2004 7:13:17 AM PDT
by
cake_crumb
(UN Resolutions=Very Expensive, Very SCRATCHY Toilet Paper)
To: TC Rider

More unpopped
kernels!
43
posted on
10/20/2004 7:16:57 AM PDT
by
Petronski
(I'm not always cranky.)
To: happydogdesign
44
posted on
10/20/2004 7:17:33 AM PDT
by
cake_crumb
(UN Resolutions=Very Expensive, Very SCRATCHY Toilet Paper)
To: Petronski
All beer will be skunky, all pizza will have anchovies, the NFL season will be cancelled in favor of WNBA reruns, and CHRISTMAS WILL BE CANCELLED!!
Have you ever seen such cruelty?
To: happydogdesign
"Only the rich.....get medicine...."
Ties in nicely with no shortage of flu vaccine among the Potomac Potentates on Capitol Hill
46
posted on
10/20/2004 7:22:12 AM PDT
by
NRA1995
(John Kerry's one accomplishment....record-high amount of stupid campaign trail photos)
To: Petronski
Jonah is a favorite of mine. He is pretty fair in his analysis, but always pretty funny.
47
posted on
10/20/2004 7:22:40 AM PDT
by
mattdono
("Crush the democrats, drive them before you, and hear the lamentations of the scumbags" -Big Arnie)
To: Petronski; MistyCA
48
posted on
10/20/2004 7:24:21 AM PDT
by
wizr
To: wizr

Yes it's true.
I'm startin'
with your house.
49
posted on
10/20/2004 7:25:27 AM PDT
by
Petronski
(I'm not always cranky.)
To: Petronski
A 500 foot nude statue of Helen Thomas
That did it for me...saving on food costs today.
50
posted on
10/20/2004 7:30:24 AM PDT
by
ErnBatavia
(Democrats: appear in September, leavin' November 3 - worse than a 1-night stand...)
To: Petronski; Howlin; MeekOneGOP; Mo1; RedBloodedAmerican
If George Bush is Elected...

Your suspenders will break
Your birthday cake will fall
Your milk will sour
Your shoes will come untied
Your dog will get fleas
Your cat will have chronic hairballs
51
posted on
10/20/2004 7:31:29 AM PDT
by
cake_crumb
(UN Resolutions=Very Expensive, Very SCRATCHY Toilet Paper)
To: Petronski
HAH! My car has treads, beeyotch.
52
posted on
10/20/2004 7:34:07 AM PDT
by
Shryke
To: cake_crumb

I'll put one of those
white gristly things
in every burger.
53
posted on
10/20/2004 7:35:43 AM PDT
by
Petronski
(I'm not always cranky.)
To: cake_crumb
500 foot nude statue of Helen Thomas will replace the Washington Monument -- that towering symbol of our phallocracy That is just plan mean
54
posted on
10/20/2004 7:37:50 AM PDT
by
Mo1
(This Sept 10th attitude is no way to protect our country)
To: Petronski

I'll put the bones back into your chicken soup
I'll make your beer go flat
and
Your chips go stale
55
posted on
10/20/2004 7:54:17 AM PDT
by
cake_crumb
(UN Resolutions=Very Expensive, Very SCRATCHY Toilet Paper)
To: Mo1
"That is just plan mean"Not to mention disgusting...
56
posted on
10/20/2004 7:55:32 AM PDT
by
cake_crumb
(UN Resolutions=Very Expensive, Very SCRATCHY Toilet Paper)
To: cake_crumb

Four words:
"Yoko Ono's Comeback Tour"
I'll make it happen.
57
posted on
10/20/2004 7:56:48 AM PDT
by
Petronski
(I'm not always cranky.)
To: Petronski

I will personally crush
every box of cookies
so the girl scouts can
only sell crumbs.
58
posted on
10/20/2004 7:59:38 AM PDT
by
KarlInOhio
(If they couldn't stand up to ...Howard Dean..., how can we expect them to stand up to Al Queda?)
To: Petronski
And let us not forget the four hurricanes that devastated Florida and happened ON GEORGE BUSH'S WATCH!!!
To: Constitution Day
All beer will be skunky, all pizza will have anchovies, the NFL NHL season will be cancelled in favor of WNBA reruns, and CHRISTMAS WILL BE CANCELLED!! To give it that little kernel of truth.
60
posted on
10/20/2004 8:17:16 AM PDT
by
DrDavid
(GWBush: The W-right President at the W-right time and the W-right place)
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