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GEORGE BUSH WILL SET FIRE TO YOUR HOUSE.... [Jonah Goldberg] LOL Must Read
National Review Online: The Corner ^ | 10-20-4 | Jonah Goldberg

Posted on 10/20/2004 6:24:03 AM PDT by Petronski

GEORGE BUSH WILL SET FIRE TO YOUR HOUSE.... [Jonah Goldberg]

Shoot your dog, eat your best cold fried chicken, jam your Xerox machine, grope your wife, give nukes to the Crips and the Bloods, raise taxes on the poor to 110%, give Margaret Cho a two hour nightly "comedy" special, replace vegetables with sand on all high school cafeteria menus and require that all women be handcuffed to their basement radiators until they breed the requisite 3 Aryan children this countries needs. If minority women can't churn out the good stuff, they stay handcuffed. And -- oh yeah -- he'll reinstitute the draft.

Why doesn't John Kerry say all of these things instead of merely saying Bush will bring back the draft? I mean whenever he's asked "Why are you saying this when the president has denied it categorically?" He responds, "Well, he also said there were weapons of mass destruction. He has no credibility."

Never mind the asinine cynicism involved in that Kerry also said he thought there were WMDs (don't make me go through the list of others who did as well). But if you aren't bound by evidence and the President's denials don't count, why not really cut loose with some scary scenarios. The president will require that all taco meat be replaced with blue cheese. A 500 foot nude statue of Helen Thomas will replace the Washington Monument -- that towering symbol of our phallocracy. Puppies will burn, kittens will fly, diapers will chafe -- all if George W. Bush is elected.


TOPICS: Front Page News; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: fearmongering; gwb2004; kerry; kerrystrategy
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To: atomicpossum
I not only like your post a lot, but your tag line ain't too shabby either.

Congressman Billybob

21 posted on 10/20/2004 6:41:13 AM PDT by Congressman Billybob (Visit: www.ArmorforCongress.com please.)
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To: Petronski
A 500 foot nude statue of Helen Thomas will replace the Washington Monument...

Words fail me.

22 posted on 10/20/2004 6:41:55 AM PDT by Steve0113 (Stay to the far right to get by.)
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To: Dutchgirl; Americanwolfsbrother
A 500 foot nude statue of Helen Thomas will replace the Washington Monument

Yeah, well I HAD missed that comment in the rant!

But thank you from enlightening me! I know feel my breakfast beating a retreat! :)

23 posted on 10/20/2004 6:43:28 AM PDT by Americanwolf (Paintball Gun: $44..Accessories: $55. Protecting campaign sign from Union thugs: Priceless!)
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To: Petronski
For whatever the reason, all I can think of is "Ghostbusters"


24 posted on 10/20/2004 6:44:40 AM PDT by wagglebee (Benedict Arnold was for American independence before he was against it.)
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To: Petronski

George Bush will make Crawford, TX the capitol of the United States. And he'll ban oxygen tanks for senior citizens and force them to run the Boston Marathon.

Dick Cheney will eat all your Meals on Wheels before they even get to your house. Then he'll eat the van.


25 posted on 10/20/2004 6:44:48 AM PDT by JustaCowgirl (Terrorists will "global test" us right off the planet)
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To: Petronski

thanks for the wonderful post. Made my morning. I might add, someone on local talk radio said he'd noticed something peculiar happening to the trees too. "They're all turning these strange colors," he said. He added that he was sure Bush knew about it but wasn't telling, not to mention that Mt. St. Helens was simmering and boiling and about ready to blow--and Bush was covering that up too. Sadly, there are enough idiots in the country to believe some of this. I'm with P.J. O'Rourke. He said we had to get used to the idea that about half of the people in this country are less than bright. He then opined that the situation was rapidly getting worse. P.S. Loved your bio and the beautiful, "In Flanders' Fields."


26 posted on 10/20/2004 6:45:03 AM PDT by texaslil
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To: Petronski

Bump


27 posted on 10/20/2004 6:46:09 AM PDT by bwteim (Begin With The End In Mind)
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To: Petronski; Mo1; Howlin; Peach; BeforeISleep; kimmie7; 4integrity; BigSkyFreeper; RandallFlagg; ...
A 500 foot nude statue of Helen Thomas will replace the Washington Monument

Ahhhhhhhhh......THE HORROR!!

28 posted on 10/20/2004 6:46:55 AM PDT by OXENinFLA
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To: OXENinFLA

That's a funny little article by Jonah.


29 posted on 10/20/2004 6:48:39 AM PDT by Peach (The Clintons pardoned more terrorists than they ever captured or killed.)
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To: Constitution Day

The Bush plan is so evil. Did you know that pinstripes on cars will no longer be parallel? Every apple will have a worm, potato chips will all be broken in half, NASCAR will have a 75mph limit, the string sections of orchestras will be forced to tune down a quarter step, and conservatives will now always be caught behind the 'local' bus in city traffic.


30 posted on 10/20/2004 6:48:58 AM PDT by Petronski (I'm not always cranky.)
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To: Petronski

Infiltrated and posted on a liberal message board.


31 posted on 10/20/2004 6:49:52 AM PDT by Rebelbase
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To: wagglebee

Dogs and cats, living together, mass hysteria!


32 posted on 10/20/2004 6:49:55 AM PDT by Petronski (I'm not always cranky.)
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To: Steve0113
A 500 foot nude statue of Helen Thomas will replace the Washington Monument...

Words fail me.

Actually thank God for eyelids!!!

33 posted on 10/20/2004 6:50:22 AM PDT by rock58seg (I will vote as kerry directs, when he says, "vote for Bush.")
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To: Rebelbase
"Infiltrated and posted on a liberal message board."

LOL...counting down until you get banned...

34 posted on 10/20/2004 6:54:56 AM PDT by cake_crumb (UN Resolutions=Very Expensive, Very SCRATCHY Toilet Paper)
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To: Petronski

...and if Kerry is elected:

The lame will walk. The blind will see. The poor will drive Porches. And Iraqii terrorists will join hands with Iraelis and sing "Puff the Magic Dragon"


35 posted on 10/20/2004 6:58:28 AM PDT by kidd
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To: Shryke

I'm gonna let
the air outta
your tires.

36 posted on 10/20/2004 6:59:03 AM PDT by Petronski (I'm not always cranky.)
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To: Petronski

LOL! This really should be one of the ads in the last week before the election by one of the 527s...just a killer funny ad about all the scare tactics used by the dems on old people and blacks every election, and the tag line: Democrats think you are too stupid to see through these scare tactics. Republicans think you are smarter than that.
Humor often trumps ideology.


37 posted on 10/20/2004 6:59:05 AM PDT by kittymyrib
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To: kittymyrib

You'll lose your
car keys
more often.

38 posted on 10/20/2004 7:04:10 AM PDT by Petronski (I'm not always cranky.)
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To: Constitution Day

Bush/Cheney04: A Pebble in Every Shoe


39 posted on 10/20/2004 7:05:04 AM PDT by Petronski (I'm not always cranky.)
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To: Petronski

40 posted on 10/20/2004 7:07:33 AM PDT by happydogdesign
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