"If Bush Wins, I'm..."

SF Weekly ^ | October 16, 2004 | John Mecklin

[L.N. Smithee]

What will we do if George W. Bush is re-elected in three weeks? Dog Bites doesn't know, but surely Google must. We searched for the phrase "If Bush wins, I'm ...." From the 450 or so hits that were returned, here's what we learned:

"if Bush wins I'm going to be living with some very unhappy Brazilians."

"If Bush wins I'm gonna get drunk, drive over to the states and drop a great big dump in the middle of the peace bridge."

"If Bush wins, I'm going to attempt to bring down the US government and replace it with a freely-elected democracy."

"if Bush wins, I'm outta here. Canada or NZ, wherever I can go, I'll go."

"if Bush wins I'm not going to be hopelessly defeated."

"if bush wins, i'm definately going to canada."

"If Bush wins (I'm not saying again), I'll chalk it up on my big 'Reasons to Commit Suicide in The Modern World' List."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving to South America!"

"If bush wins, I'm jumping the fence to mexico."

"If Bush wins, I'm hoping you'll stand with us in our rebellion against this Bush dictatorship."

"If Bush wins, I'm never going to hear the end of it from my friends."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving back to the UK."

"if bush wins, I'm throwing the biggest fit in the world and then using my lifesavings to move to canada!!!"

"If Bush wins i'm moving to New Zealand, oh wait, i'm already here, suckers."

"if Bush wins, I'm joining up."

"if Bush wins I'm going to leave the country."

"if Bush wins, I'm going to be looking for a new country to call home."

"If Bush wins, I'm gonna be really loud (in my unimportant way)."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving out of the United States cause of Bush."

"If Bush wins, I'm going to the Washington Mall."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving to Canada."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving back to Canada ... or maybe to Christine's neighborhood."

"if Bush wins I'm not jumping out a 20 story window."

"if Bush wins, I'm off to New Zealand to live with Rob and Kirsty."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving to Australia, and I've already got the paperwork started."

"If Bush wins, I'm seriously going back to college outside the US."

"if bush wins, i'm moving to canada..."

"If Bush wins I'm holding everyone who didn't vote for Kerry accountable, especially those who know better."

"if bush wins..i'm gonna be the happiest person alive and i'm going to be so proud to be american...haha GO BUSH!!!!!"

"If Bush wins I'm going to have to summon all the equanimity that Buddhism offers."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving to Canada..."

"If Bush wins I'm moving to Germany."

"if Bush wins (I'm not voting for either of these a-holes), I r-e-a-l-l-y want Hillary to run for President in 2008, so that she can finally have a stake driven through her political career."

"If Bush wins, I'm pretty certain that we will go after Iran and/or Syria next (Iran more likely)."

"If Bush wins, I'm leaving."

"If Bush wins, I'm gone."

"if Bush wins, I'm burning my passport on the embassy steps and pleaing for asylum, anyone care to join me?"

"If Bush wins, I'm holding Nader and Patti responsible."

"if bush wins, i'm moving out of the country ... preferably to england."

"If Bush wins I'm thinking 2008 will be the battle of the women."

"if Bush wins, I'm terrified at how the liberal minded will react. I hope not violently."

"If Bush wins, I'm gonna start drinking!"

"If Bush wins I'm off to Canada -- don't think I can cope with Dubaya for another 4 years."

"if bush wins i'm not going to leave holland."

"if Bush wins, I'm removing myself from the voter rolls."

"If Bush wins, I'm still crossing my fingers, except this time hoping he doesn't launch a worldwide blitzkrieg or something."

"if Bush wins, I'm moving to San Miguel de Allende Mexico."

"if Bush wins, I'm moving to Switzerland."

"if Bush wins, I'm moving to Canada. Eh?"

"If Bush wins I'm moving to North Korea."

"If Bush wins, I'm going to make like a cicada and hide under the bed for four years."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving to Canada and requesting political asylum."

"If Bush wins, I'm sure the angels will rejoice -- there will be thousands of lives saved, more God-fearing laws, less liberal influence, etc."

"If Bush wins I'm moving to Canada!"

"if Bush wins, I'm willing to stay if the Democrats break the GOP hold on Congress."

"if Bush wins I'm moving out of the country."

"if bush wins, i'm moving to canada or australia!"

"If Bush wins, I'm packing up my stuff and heading to Canada."

"if Bush wins, I'm lighting up just because, well...f--- it."

"If Bush wins, I'm leaving the country. That simple."

"If bush wins, I'm moving to Connecticut cause America will be done for."

"If Bush wins, I'm up $1,000."

"If Bush wins, I'm not going to cause a riot but will handle myself with poise and tactfully smile."

"if bush wins, i'm having a re-count riot party."

"If Bush wins I'm considering moving to another country."

"If Bush wins I'm staying inside my fallout shelter for 4 years."

"If Bush wins I'm hoping (and do feel it is plausible) for a 60/40 split."

"if Bush wins I'm sure Christian institutions will continue to receive a hell of a lot more money than they previously had."

"if Bush wins, I'm staying until 2005."

"If Bush wins, I'm afraid I'll have to become a tad more militant."

"if Bush wins I'm moving out of the country."

"if bush wins I'm moving to canada."

"if Bush wins, I'm going to need to be able to tell myself that I did everything humanly possible to prevent it."

"If Bush wins, I'm happy."

"if bush wins, I'm starting a revolution."

"if Bush wins I'm guessing Dick Cheney will run for Prez and maybe Hilary will run."

"If Bush wins I'm moving to Germany."

"if Bush wins, I'm going to grab two or three of my stinky freinds, find the busiest intersection I can find and picket with slogans such as 'Bush = War Hero' and 'George Bush was Elected.'"

"if Bush wins I'm not going to be able to stand it online enduring another 4 years of liberal *****ing about every single little pissant issue or news story."

"If Bush wins, I'm hopeful we'll take the gloves off and finally start kicking some Islamic ass."

"if Bush wins I'm the front-runner in '08."

"If Bush wins I'm moving to Cuba."

"If Bush wins I'm blaming it on your state!"

"if Bush wins I'm afraid that America is a lost cause."

"if Bush wins, I'm not going anyplace colder than here!"

"If Bush wins, I'm shooting the redeemer in my sig at the White House as soon as he's reinagurated."

"if Bush wins, I'm moving to Canada."

"If Bush wins, I'm hoping for chaos in the states."

"if bush wins, i'm killing EVERYBODY."

"If Bush Wins, I'm Going Underground."

"If Bush wins ... I'm leaving with the Baldwins."

"If Bush wins I'm going to riot."

"If Bush wins, I'm very scared for the US and the world..."

"If Bush wins, I'm going to kill myself."

"if Bush wins, I'm moving to Canada."

"if Bush wins, i'm nuking the USA myself. i only thought i'd give you fair warning."

"If Bush wins I'm going to Disneyland." (Tommy Craggs)

[Keyes2000mt]

If Bush wins, I'll celebrate until Sunday, November 7th and start planning for the 2008 campaign.

[Clemenza]

If Bush wins, its a Don Diego Playboy (Hugh Hefner Signature) Churchill down at El Gaucho, with a glass of fine 30-year old port.

If Kerry wins, its several bottles of JD, followed by screaming at my fellow Seattlites.

[BillF]

"If Bush wins I'm moving to Cuba."

When DC Chapter goes to FReep the hard-core leftists like two weeks ago (click here), one of our favorite chants is:

SWIM TO CUBA! FREE HEALTHCARE! FREE EDUCATION! IT'S A SOCIALIST PARADISE!

We've even offered to give them an inner tube and a bus ticket to the Florida Keys. No takers so far.

Below photo shows BufordP holding his brilliant and famous sign a few weeks ago when leftists had a blood dance "mock funeral march" with phony cardboard coffins from Arlington National Cemetery to the White House. A 2002 AP photo of him holding the same sign went out on the national newswire.

[Gimme]

"if Bush wins I'm guessing Dick Cheney will run for Prez and maybe Hilary will run."

Sounds like you got your political science degree over the internet...

LOLOL excellent all of em :)

[ApesForEvolution]

The only RATs that will leave, of note, will be the American Communists elitists, and they might leave for their own well-being.

They'll probably be flown non-stop, direct (with in-flight refueling) to Paris on French military pre-emptive-retreat cargo aircrafts...

[Stonedog]

When Bush wins, I'm prepared to face Civil War forced by the RATS ... and win.

Oh you murderous insurgent you :)

[dagnabbit]

If Bush wins, I'm celebrating and gloating over my entirely-liberal collection of colleagues - for about 3 days.

Then, I go back to working against Bush's plans to import all of the third world and their ideologies.

[ApesForEvolution]

LOLOLOLOL!!!

I had a run in with two Communists at the golf course today...ROFLOL! Set them up and knock them down...figuratively speaking of course.

[ApesForEvolution]

Eyes wide open baby!!! :O

[Woogit]

If President Bush wins, I'll be thanking the Lord for four more years!!

[bootless]

If Bush wins, I'm hitting my knees and saying THANK YOU!

[Hessian]

...I'm putting a big ass @$$ sign in my front yard that says "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!"

[raspberries!]

[bootless]

>>Provisional and absentee ballots<<

YES!!!

[skikvt]

If Bush wins, I'm going to have a double Bombay Saphire martini, very dry..

If Kerry wins, I might move to Belize. (But I was thinking of doing that anyhow)

[Wonderama]

if bush wins...i will again have faith in the intelligence of this country
if bush wins...i can hold up the president as an example of courage to my kids
if bush wins...all my democrat neighbors will be drunk
if bush wins...i will not be consoling them
if bush wins..it means Dan Rathers fraud had no impact
if bush wins...it means people don't believe john edwards claiming to heal the impaired
if bush wins.... john kerry goes back to windsurfing
if bush wins....theresa kerry still only paysa 12% tax rate
if bush wins....it means americans now believe vietnam vets over 60's protestors
if bush wins...i will throw a party with the tax break i'll get
if bush wins...i will hire more people in my business
if bush wins....i will go out and buy, buy, buy to stimulate the economy even more
if bush wins....i will breath easier
if bush wins...i feel a little better sending my kids to school NOV 3rd
if bush wins...iraq knows we stick by our word
if bush wins...afganistan will have elections for the first time in history(ooops that already happened)
if bush wins...Iraq will have elections for the first time in history
if bush wins...the marines will have a commander in chief whom they respect
if bush wins....all the elites who hate bush, might actually move...
if bush wins...it means places like the lovely San Francisco are completly out of touch.
if bush wins...he saves your ass, whether you like it or not.
if bush wins...i laugh my head off at all you crazed zealots who hate bush more than you like kerry
if bush wins...this country survives

[hocndoc]

Amen!!

[Wonderama]

one last thing
even though it's not going to happen.
if kerry wins (God help us)
I am not going to be like these idiot Dems whining and threatning to leave the country. I'm going to stay and fight and make sure it's a one term presidency.

[Jaxgram]

When these bastards finally leave, someone please lock the door!

[GOP_Raider]

If Bush Wins, I will have a Budweiser....or several.

[Mo1]

Been reading the DU huh??

BTW ... They all promised this same stuff in 2000

I'm still waiting for them to leave