"If Bush Wins, I'm..."

SF Weekly ^ | October 16, 2004 | John Mecklin

[L.N. Smithee]

What will we do if George W. Bush is re-elected in three weeks? Dog Bites doesn't know, but surely Google must. We searched for the phrase "If Bush wins, I'm ...." From the 450 or so hits that were returned, here's what we learned:

"if Bush wins I'm going to be living with some very unhappy Brazilians."

"If Bush wins I'm gonna get drunk, drive over to the states and drop a great big dump in the middle of the peace bridge."

"If Bush wins, I'm going to attempt to bring down the US government and replace it with a freely-elected democracy."

"if Bush wins, I'm outta here. Canada or NZ, wherever I can go, I'll go."

"if Bush wins I'm not going to be hopelessly defeated."

"if bush wins, i'm definately going to canada."

"If Bush wins (I'm not saying again), I'll chalk it up on my big 'Reasons to Commit Suicide in The Modern World' List."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving to South America!"

"If bush wins, I'm jumping the fence to mexico."

"If Bush wins, I'm hoping you'll stand with us in our rebellion against this Bush dictatorship."

"If Bush wins, I'm never going to hear the end of it from my friends."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving back to the UK."

"if bush wins, I'm throwing the biggest fit in the world and then using my lifesavings to move to canada!!!"

"If Bush wins i'm moving to New Zealand, oh wait, i'm already here, suckers."

"if Bush wins, I'm joining up."

"if Bush wins I'm going to leave the country."

"if Bush wins, I'm going to be looking for a new country to call home."

"If Bush wins, I'm gonna be really loud (in my unimportant way)."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving out of the United States cause of Bush."

"If Bush wins, I'm going to the Washington Mall."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving to Canada."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving back to Canada ... or maybe to Christine's neighborhood."

"if Bush wins I'm not jumping out a 20 story window."

"if Bush wins, I'm off to New Zealand to live with Rob and Kirsty."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving to Australia, and I've already got the paperwork started."

"If Bush wins, I'm seriously going back to college outside the US."

"if bush wins, i'm moving to canada..."

"If Bush wins I'm holding everyone who didn't vote for Kerry accountable, especially those who know better."

"if bush wins..i'm gonna be the happiest person alive and i'm going to be so proud to be american...haha GO BUSH!!!!!"

"If Bush wins I'm going to have to summon all the equanimity that Buddhism offers."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving to Canada..."

"If Bush wins I'm moving to Germany."

"if Bush wins (I'm not voting for either of these a-holes), I r-e-a-l-l-y want Hillary to run for President in 2008, so that she can finally have a stake driven through her political career."

"If Bush wins, I'm pretty certain that we will go after Iran and/or Syria next (Iran more likely)."

"If Bush wins, I'm leaving."

"If Bush wins, I'm gone."

"if Bush wins, I'm burning my passport on the embassy steps and pleaing for asylum, anyone care to join me?"

"If Bush wins, I'm holding Nader and Patti responsible."

"if bush wins, i'm moving out of the country ... preferably to england."

"If Bush wins I'm thinking 2008 will be the battle of the women."

"if Bush wins, I'm terrified at how the liberal minded will react. I hope not violently."

"If Bush wins, I'm gonna start drinking!"

"If Bush wins I'm off to Canada -- don't think I can cope with Dubaya for another 4 years."

"if bush wins i'm not going to leave holland."

"if Bush wins, I'm removing myself from the voter rolls."

"If Bush wins, I'm still crossing my fingers, except this time hoping he doesn't launch a worldwide blitzkrieg or something."

"if Bush wins, I'm moving to San Miguel de Allende Mexico."

"if Bush wins, I'm moving to Switzerland."

"if Bush wins, I'm moving to Canada. Eh?"

"If Bush wins I'm moving to North Korea."

"If Bush wins, I'm going to make like a cicada and hide under the bed for four years."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving to Canada and requesting political asylum."

"If Bush wins, I'm sure the angels will rejoice -- there will be thousands of lives saved, more God-fearing laws, less liberal influence, etc."

"If Bush wins I'm moving to Canada!"

"if Bush wins, I'm willing to stay if the Democrats break the GOP hold on Congress."

"if Bush wins I'm moving out of the country."

"if bush wins, i'm moving to canada or australia!"

"If Bush wins, I'm packing up my stuff and heading to Canada."

"if Bush wins, I'm lighting up just because, well...f--- it."

"If Bush wins, I'm leaving the country. That simple."

"If bush wins, I'm moving to Connecticut cause America will be done for."

"If Bush wins, I'm up $1,000."

"If Bush wins, I'm not going to cause a riot but will handle myself with poise and tactfully smile."

"if bush wins, i'm having a re-count riot party."

"If Bush wins I'm considering moving to another country."

"If Bush wins I'm staying inside my fallout shelter for 4 years."

"If Bush wins I'm hoping (and do feel it is plausible) for a 60/40 split."

"if Bush wins I'm sure Christian institutions will continue to receive a hell of a lot more money than they previously had."

"if Bush wins, I'm staying until 2005."

"If Bush wins, I'm afraid I'll have to become a tad more militant."

"if Bush wins I'm moving out of the country."

"if bush wins I'm moving to canada."

"if Bush wins, I'm going to need to be able to tell myself that I did everything humanly possible to prevent it."

"If Bush wins, I'm happy."

"if bush wins, I'm starting a revolution."

"if Bush wins I'm guessing Dick Cheney will run for Prez and maybe Hilary will run."

"If Bush wins I'm moving to Germany."

"if Bush wins, I'm going to grab two or three of my stinky freinds, find the busiest intersection I can find and picket with slogans such as 'Bush = War Hero' and 'George Bush was Elected.'"

"if Bush wins I'm not going to be able to stand it online enduring another 4 years of liberal *****ing about every single little pissant issue or news story."

"If Bush wins, I'm hopeful we'll take the gloves off and finally start kicking some Islamic ass."

"if Bush wins I'm the front-runner in '08."

"If Bush wins I'm moving to Cuba."

"If Bush wins I'm blaming it on your state!"

"if Bush wins I'm afraid that America is a lost cause."

"if Bush wins, I'm not going anyplace colder than here!"

"If Bush wins, I'm shooting the redeemer in my sig at the White House as soon as he's reinagurated."

"if Bush wins, I'm moving to Canada."

"If Bush wins, I'm hoping for chaos in the states."

"if bush wins, i'm killing EVERYBODY."

"If Bush Wins, I'm Going Underground."

"If Bush wins ... I'm leaving with the Baldwins."

"If Bush wins I'm going to riot."

"If Bush wins, I'm very scared for the US and the world..."

"If Bush wins, I'm going to kill myself."

"if Bush wins, I'm moving to Canada."

"if Bush wins, i'm nuking the USA myself. i only thought i'd give you fair warning."

"If Bush wins I'm going to Disneyland." (Tommy Craggs)

[ApesForEvolution]

People possessed en masse by the spirit of lunacy can turn a nation on a dime...which is why we're here, I guess...lol

I've never felt the cold Civil War nearing a hot stage more in my life. The left talks like other enemies of America that talk the same way and carry it out.

We are going to see a)mass exodus of elites when Bush wins, b)mass suicides of unstable RATs and c)attempts to create chaos, among other things, by the protestor Communist class.

[Salamander]

While those of us with estrogen only recognized Powers Boothe's gorgeous mug....LOL!

[Salamander]

"If bush wins, I'm moving to Connecticut cause America will be done for."

Connecticut is sovereign and separate now?
Who knew?

[Hank Rearden]

I'm going to wonder if "loopholes" like the Swiftvets' 527, will survive the next couple of years. "Free Speech" is overrated, after all, according to politicians.

[Unknowing]

If Bush wins, I'm going to take the time to watch the inauguration ceremony!

Singing, whiskey for my men, beer for my horses.

[ApesForEvolution]

When Bush wins, I say "Save a horse, ride a donkey!!"

[mykroar]

Yep - me too.

Took off work last year to celebrate - before the demon-rats started their attempt at election theft.

[Unknowing]

Ken Curtis BUMP.

[Khurkris]

When G.W. Bush WINS....I'm cracking open several bottles of my best bourbon (Kentucky, of course) and me and every Chinaman & women on my lane are getting smashed! (I already warned them...and they are ready!...Lol)

[Unknowing]

That was a close call. I didn't know about FR then.

[bayourod]

Thanks. See reply 61.

[fourscore]

If Bush wins....WHEN Bush wins I am going to do what I always do when Republicans win. I flip the channel from Fox and then watch all the MSM idiots as they are forced to announce the good news and analyze it. I want to see the look on Big Red Dan's face as he calls it for Bush on Nov.2. I do this as I laugh in their faces, through the TV of course. This will be sweet.

[Simmy2.5]

Yeah. I mean already we have the crazed extremist causing damage to Republican headquarters. Imagine when Bush wins what their reaction is going to be. It is going to be a little frightening come November 3rd. Epescially in the Bay Area (currently I'm far away at the moment due to college. But still, almost my entire family is there. I don't know what it is going to be like on November 3rd).

Now, if the end result is a mass exodus of liberals to Canada, well, fine by me. Means this nation will be better off. But somehow, that might be a little too much to hope for.

BTW, in case you wondered by the kook, I mean Time Traveler that predicted that we are heading into a civil war, his name is actually John Titor, not Jim (at least allegedly, supposedly that name might not be real to protect his identity if you actually believe this bull [him being a Time Traveler from the future and all]).

[Calpernia]

Google ping.

[Leofl]

If all the fools who say " I'm Leaving if Bush wins" would actually go, I would be for a modest Tax increase to help them along the way.

May God continue to Bless the USA and our President

[silent_jonny]

WHEN Bush wins I will do the following in this order: I'm gonna thank the Lord God Almighty for having mercy on us and for sparing us a Kerry presidency. I will then sleep for 2 days straight (I think we've all earned the rest). And after that I'm gonna walk up to the first Liberal I see and I'm gonna GLOAT! GLOOOOOOOAT! GLOAT til I'm hoarse!

[mtngrl@vrwc]

If Bush wins I will worry a heck of a lot less when my son is commissioned into the army in December.

If Bush wins I will rejoice in the fact that more than half of the voters in America aren't complete idiots.

If Bush wins I will sleep easy for the next four years.

Please Lord, let Bush Win.

[Peace will be here soon]

If Bush wins, I guess I will have to help my father move to the woods.

[Blue Jays]

Good Morning All-

If Bush wins, I'm....going to buy several thousand shares of Boeing stock in hopes that these liberals keep their promises! The airlines will need to acquire additional equipment to handle the demand!

[/fantasy]

~ Blue Jays ~

[ApesForEvolution]

Well, God has used the jawbone of an ass to bring knowledge to light on earth, so...??? I'd say the signs of the times are pretty clear and the times call for real people to get real...