Posted on 10/10/2004 9:35:42 PM PDT by My Favorite Headache
Dan Harper: When a first-grader asks, ‘Are you gay?’
Last week my 6-year-old grandson asked me if I was gay. It was an innocent question, but I was still caught off-guard. And his knowing smile made me concerned about what he might know about the homosexual world. I told him I wasn’t gay. Then I asked him if he knew what a gay person was, thinking he probably didn’t. He said it was a boy who liked other boys. Well — he knew more than I thought. First-graders are a lot more sophisticated now than they were when I was innocently bounding through first grade.
I kept my reactions off-hand and low key. He asked an important question, but I didn’t want to give his question more importance than he expected or needed. Still, his question stunned me.
The American Psychological Association did a study in the mid 1990s and reported that most gay people are born that way.
While I wasn’t born gay, does Danny have some gay urges?
I wanted to respond to my grandson without succumbing to any of the knee-jerk responses that straight people often use.
When I expressed curiosity about where he had heard about gays, Danny said he had learned about them from some other first-graders in the lunch room.
Apparently someone there had asked, "Would all the gay people here please raise their hands?" Danny said with some pride that he had raised his hand.
"How do you know you’re gay," I asked?
"Because I like you," he answered sweetly, love brimming from his eyes. "And I like grandpa Jim and my dad and." Then he rattled off some names of his best buddies in first grade. I was touched — and relieved.
Being gay is not a role I would wish on anyone. Being gay and raising one’s hand and admitting it, especially in your first year of grade school could have serious ramifications.
We are not a particularly tolerant society where gays are concerned. They face prejudice, anger and sometimes violence because our society is deeply homophobic. If it turned out that Danny was gay, it wouldn’t alter my love for him but it would pain me to know that he faces a lifetime of being an outsider.
Alice and I have some very dear and important friends who have called us aside to confess that they are gay. Their confessions came slowly, haltingly and painfully with pleas that we respect their secret. We were touched by their desire to be honest with us. But we also learned about the pain their sexual identity caused them in this preponderantly heterosexual world.
While I don’t know the numbers, we have a relatively large homosexual population here in Santa Cruz since we are a relatively tolerant and liberal community.
We rub shoulders with gay and lesbians in every walk of life. They are our police officers, they fight our fires and they are our clergy and teachers. They are house painters and store owners and community leaders. They may be our best friends or our colleagues at work.
Most gay people must hide portions of their lives from the straight community. They guard their personal lives carefully. They’ve had to do this because some straights are intolerant and sometimes hurt them.
Too often we have contributed to society’s intolerance by joking unfeelingly about limp-wristed, effeminate men or mannish women, which has bolstered the intolerance of our society.
Intolerance feeds prejudice. Prejudice leads to hate crimes and violence. Hitler knew this when he attacked Jews, homosexuals and gypsies. The result was that the majority population acquiesced in Hitler’s pogroms. The Germans are still trying to explain their silence 60 years after Hitler’s horrific extermination of 6 million Jews.
Historically our approach to our black population, with its roots in slavery, is just as pernicious. And for 200 years we have found ways to ridicule and exclude them.
Conan O’Brien, the late night stand-up comedian, reported that Oprah Winfrey wanted it known that even though she appeared on the "Ellen" coming-out episode, she’s not gay.
Meanwhile, according to O’Brien, Ellen DeGeneres, the gay comedian, issued a statement saying that even though she appeared on "Oprah," she’s not black.
Jews and blacks have suffered from some of the same prejudice that has plagued our homosexual population. My grandson has unwittingly stumbled into one of America’s darkest corners. My hope is that by the time he understands what "gay" really means, he will find us more tolerant.
Dan Harper is an Aptos photographer, journalist and former English Department chairman at Cabrillo College. He can be reached via e-mail at dnaharp@pacbell.net. His column appears each Sunday
Well, isn't that precious?!
"Hitler knew this when he attacked Jews, homosexuals and gypsies"
Hmm...I thought the brownshirts were homosexual? Hitler was too, right?
Why don't they mention that Christians were killed as well?
Maybe your grandson simply notices your now not so latent girly man tendencies?
The American Psychological Association did a study in the mid 1990s and reported that most gay people are born that way.
Say what? This is news to me, but if true, it must be right. After all, how could the shrinks be wrong?
Hitler was indeed gay.
Public school = child abuse.
#### 30 ####
No, some just accept this phony label at an extraordinary young age.
PUKE!
LOL...gotta love the liberals....let's do a follow up on their compassion when they are shooting up Bush/Cheney offices and causing civil unrest when they don't get their way.
Yes, it has come down to that.
I personally couldn't care less if someone is gay. I don't want them killed, hurt, ridiculed, etc. If that is the way they want to live, I'm OK with that.
However, "gay" is NOT natural, normal, or moral. It is sexual perversion, and I believe it is a mortal sin.
I don't want gays to marry, or to be able to adopt children. I don't want their agenda pushed on our society.
It is a damn shame that 1st grade kids are asked to identify themselves as "gay" in school. Kids need to develop their minds and bodies before they have to worry about their sexual identification.
Yes, yes it has. Have the courage to tell this to your friends. Friends CARE. Homeschool if you cannot find a decent Catholic School. (And they are few and far between.)
Everytime my wife overcooks my burger, I bring this subject up. She is just like Hitler, and that's why we disagree on how best to cook.
One can also apply the "just-like-Hitler" argument when choosing videos to rent, picking out a color for your new car, and debating whether homosexuality is a choice. Apparently forming any morality-based views on sex or gay behavior makes one a Nazi.
"Nazi", meaning, "You're a conservative, and I don't like your opinion."
Intolerance feeds prejudice. Prejudice leads to hate crimes and violence. Hitler knew this when he attacked Jews, homosexuals and gypsies....
So I'll propose my own nexus:
Gayness feeds perversion. Perversion leads to pedophilia with little boys....
Did not candy coat it either.
Stunning post...just awesome.
I answer, "It's time you were home-schooled."
"No, Jimmy, I'm not gay. Your grandmother and I used to like to have wild sex in the middle of the crowd at Woodstock. That's where your mummy came from. Think about it, Jimmy, old, wrinkled people like Grammy and me having wet, sloppy, disgusting sex. Kind of makes you want to puke, doesn't it? You wouldn't ever want to have sex, now would you, Jimmy? I didn't think so."
Hey, you gotta larn 'em young...
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.