Posted on 10/06/2004 4:15:31 AM PDT by islander-11
John Edwards looked like Opie last night, and he sounded like Barney Fife, and after that mistake by the lake, there's only one place John Edwards [related, bio] should be headed today.
To Michigan, for a nice long ride in Mike Dukakis' tank.
It may not have changed a lot of minds, and it dragged big time in the last half. And of course everyone was clicking back and forth between Cleveland and the Yankees game. But if last night's debate had been a prize fight, it would have been stopped around 9:20, and Gwen Ifill would have passed the hat in the crowd to raise carfare to send the ambulance chaser home in an ambulance.
Grumpy Old Man 1, Breck Girl 0.
If George Bush had been half as good as Dick Cheney in his debate in Miami last week, this race would be over.
John Edwards was the one who needed body armor last night. Cheney slammed him on his use of loopholes to avoid paying $600,000 in Medicare taxes, and then delivered two memorable soundbites, the first on the Kerry-Edwards ticket.
``If they couldn't stand up to the pressures of Howard Dean [related, bio],'' Cheney said, ``how can they stand up to al-Qaeda?''
And then pointing out to Edwards that he's the presiding officer of the Senate, Cheney told Boy Edwards that he's up there every Tuesday, ``and the first time I ever met you was when you walked on the stage tonight.''
Ouch. You might say Dick Cheney knew Sam Ervin and Jesse Helms, and John Edwards is neither.
Someone on National Review summed it up nicely last evening:
If you want somebody sued, call John Edwards.
If you want somebody killed, call Dick Cheney.
Forget Florida. Is John Edwards now eligible for federal disaster relief? Never send a boy on a man's errand, that's another of last night's lessons. It was a mirror image of Thursday night, in that Cheney and Kerry weren't that great, it was just that Edwards and Bush were so feeble.
How weak was it that with six days to prepare for the ``global testing'' question, the best Edwards could come up with was that Kerry ``said in the same segment that we will never give anyone a veto over our security.''
In other words, John Kerry [related, bio] was against global testing before he was for it.
You have to wonder, though, why George Bush didn't give Kerry the same smackdown last week. All Edwards did was dust off Kerry's talking-points, for instance the fact that 90 percent of the casualties are allegedly American. The Wall Street Journal blew that up the morning before the debate, but Bush didn't see it.
Oh, I forgot, George Bush doesn't read newspapers.
Boy, has John Edwards lost touch with his alleged roots. Millionaires sitting by their swimming pools? Who's he kidding with that lame class-warfare rhetoric? He's one of the Beautiful People now. Edwards has gone from Hee Haw to foie gras, from George Jones to George Soros, from Barbara Mandrell to Barbra Streisand.
It's not a pretty picture. Social climbing never is. That's why the Silky Pony couldn't run for re-election in North Carolina - he was going to lose. Because those old boys saw right through him. They know when a guy goes from pick-up trucks to nip-and-tucks.
Next debate is Friday night. Can the Republicans send George Bush to the ``undisclosed location'' and use Dick Cheney as a ringer instead? If he can handle Opie with no trouble, let's see how he can do against Thurston Howell III.
If you want somebody killed, call Dick Cheney.
But don't hold your breath.
Samething I guess..BOY MAN!
LOL
bump for 3:pm lead with link for comments.
LOL so did I. At the beginning when cheney and edwards were writing their notes on paper i noticed edwards eyes keep flicking over to cheney. It was like that episode of Mr. bean where he was taking the test and was trying to copy what they guy next to him was writing.
It is from Jim Geraghty, on the Kerry Spot.
Is it just me or is FOX news getting wacky. I am watching Fox and Freinds right now and they are implying that the debate was a close one? I just shot off an email telling them so and that I may not be able to watch them much longer.
What a glorious article to wake up to. Happy days!
He made me miss Dan Quayle! He even looks like him.
"Is it just me or is FOX news getting wacky. I am watching Fox and Freinds right now and they are implying that the debate was a close one? I just shot off an email telling them so and that I may not be able to watch them much longer."
Fox News is nervous after the whole Rathergate affair. They say "Fair and Balanced" and know that people of all political persuasions will hole them to that. I admit it's hard to watch....especially the morning show.
That was perfect! Thanks!
I love Dick Cheney! He masterfully, methodically, and thoroughly took Edwards apart last night. All without raising his voice or losing his control. He must be one helluva poker player.
C'mon, Dubya! This ain't the time to show Christian charity to Lurch....KICK HIM IN THE NADS!!!
All the channels this morning are reporting the internet polls as fact. Chris Matthews said his polls showed Edwards won hands down so he guesses he was snookered by Cheney because he was sure Cheney won. These idiots either can't see the internet polls were had or they don't want to admit it. Their internet poll results are all they have to hang onto this morning.
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