John Kerry Driven Insane By Little Flashing Light ("Either Way, He's a Shaved Bigfoot." LOL!)

Ace Of Spades HQ ^ | 9/30/04 | Ace of Spades

[KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle]

Angry words exchanged as he insists -- nay, demands! -- that the time-expired lights be removed from the debate lecterns.

GABLES, Fla. (AP) - Democratic candidate John Kerry's campaign demanded Thursday that the lights signaling when a speaker's time has expired during debates with President Bush be removed from the lecterns because they are distracting, but the commission hosting the debates refused.

An angry exchange between representatives of the Kerry campaign and the Commission on Presidential Debates took place just hours before the candidates were to meet at the University of Miami for the first of three debates, The Associated Press learned. Kerry's team threatened to remove the lights when they visit the debate site with Kerry later in the day.

"We'll bring a screwdriver," said a Kerry aide familiar with what several people called an angry exchange.

Is it so hard for this moron to just limit his scary-important dissertations to two minutes?

Or is his camp just trying to reduce expectations? Is this story real or contrived in order to make people think that John Kerry might Hulk Out if the time-expired light goes on?

Eh. Either way, he's a shaved Bigfoot.

[KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle]

Commentary from one of the most consistently falling-down FUNNY bloggers on the web today.

You need to have his site bookmarked, and check in on it. Every single day. :)

[hawaiian]

Kerry is already melting down, even before the debate begins! Now, every time the audience sees that red light, they're all going to remember what a distracted, weak pansy Kerry is!

[Jaysun]

You know what the deal is right? He didn't know that the audience could see the light. He opposes this because it will keep him from consistently going over the time limit without the audience's knowledge.

[Mamzelle]

LOL--this adds a chuckle to an otherwise dismal day. Maybe he's afraid of being hypnotized!! by those little flashing lights!

[Molly Pitcher]

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Rules don't apply to me!!

[Ingtar]

Didn't Algore go over time on like 80% of his responses?

[hyperpoly8]

Gosh, I didn't know bigfeet were orange under all that fur.

[KarlInOhio]

I thought that was the whole idea of the light. When he debated Weld in the Mass. senate race, he consistently went over his alloted time.

I personally would have preferred a shock collar - "...and point number fourteen, I believe that France should have a ..." - ZZZZZZOTTTTTTTTT!

[big bad easter bunny]

If Kerry can't handle three little lights he sure can't handle the presidency!

[austinaero]

Al Gore goes overtime EVERY time he draws a breath!

[KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle]

"We'll bring a screwdriver," said a Kerry aide

See? See? I told you they were tool-using creatures...! :)

[Ciexyz]

Assure Kerry that it's just a little light, not a light with a beep, not a light with a buzzer. What's the big whoop, Senator?

[GottaLuvAkitas1]

LOL I love it!

I hope the lights are Black Lights so his blinding white teeth and orange skin stand out even more.

[dc-zoo]

He's just afraid the light will highlight his orange face and expose his cheating on the time.

[HardStarboard]

These lights are really unfair for Kerry - The Kerry camp sees them as "nuance limiters".

And we all know that liberals just love nuance.

[jackbill]

He's afraid that the yellow light will clash with his orange face.

[Jaysun]

Didn't Algore go over time on like 80% of his responses?

Right. I can see why Kerry would be upset. Who in the hell can take 3 or 4 positions on an issue in 2 minutes or less? I like the idea of a shock collar. LOL!

[Ichneumon]

I personally would have preferred a shock collar - ".

Or automatically cut off the microphone fifteen seconds after the "time's up" light comes on.

...and maybe with an automatic "what a blowhard" subtitle on the TV screen if the mike detects speech after that.

[Asclepius]

"We'll bring a screwdriver," said a Kerry aide familiar with what several people called an angry exchange.

Dudes. You agreed to the rules. These are your rules. What changed your minds? Did Kerry collapse into a fetal position one too many times during a rehearsal when the light went off? Did Kerry forget that flashing lights loosen his sphincter muscle with often hiliarous, er, I mean, unfortunate results? What sort of president gets spooked by flashing lights?

[dc-zoo]

I hope Jim Lehrer jumps kerry's ass when he tries to cheat and break the rules tonight.