Posted on 09/29/2004 6:43:58 PM PDT by Davis
All of us pajama pundits are eagerly anticipating the first Presidential Debate of the current electoral season.
Will beads of sweat glisten on John Kerry's Botoxicated orange brow? Alas, I have misplaced my crystal ball and my Ouija board is on the fritz so I don't know what will perspire, but I am happy to divulge the expectations of a perceptive subscriber to this website's newsletter:
I am waiting for the Cambodian Candidate to put on the Magic Hat given him by the Invisible CIA Guy & thus attired show up & win the debates.
Although we have been privileged to gaze upon numerous spectacular items from the Kerrry wardrobe—his gold Lurex bicycle-racing suit and fingerless racing gloves, his Nantucket windsurfing suit, his new jockstrap—it is unlikely that Senator Kerry will find it appropriate to make any further reference to either Christmas in Cambodia or that magical CIA hat. He is hoping they both have disappeared down the old memory hole. As they have, almost.
Likewise, the Swift Boat Veterans' charge that the first of Kerry's purple hearts was unearned because the bandaid-covered scratch did not occur under enemy fire has also been mostly forgotten, even though Kerry's own journal entry describes an engagement nine days later as his first time under fire.
Consigned as well to the ash heap of history is Mr. Kerry's ludicrous explanation for naming Presidents Clinton and Carter and former ambassador Baker in a speech he gave as the chaps he would send to settle the PLO-Israel conflict. Those names, he later asserted when the Jewish thunderclaps rolled near his elegant coiffure, had been inserted by his speechwriters against his instructions. Yes, his speechwriters were to blame. He, Kerry, had no responsibility for reading his speech before reading his speech. This is so incoherent, so goofy that you have to wonder what could have caused the Democratic party to nominate him.
For the answer to that seminal question, I turn to another of my correspondents who explained: "Mrs. Clinton was too soon, Mario Cuomo was too old, and Al Sharpton was too black."
I predict, therefore, that Senator Kerry will show up for Thursday's debate wearing a dark blue suit and a vacant expression. Further, deponent sayeth not.
*******
Real pajama pundits have their beebers set to stuned.
If he really wants to nail down the women's vote, he should arrive at the debate in his orange spandex bicycle suit and the fingerless gloves.
:-)
I think we need to watch for him to start acting in the fashion of Genghis Khan. After all, he claims to have a history of that.....
Jean F'n Kerry's Magic Boonie Hat
My wife likes real men. She likes Bush, hates Kerry. I think at least 52% of women feel the same. Bush wins.
Secret purple heart hat
"Reporting for duty" (on the Good Ship Lollypop).
I am waiting for the Cambodian Candidate to put on the Magic Hat given him by the Invisible CIA Guy & thus attired show up & win the debates.Haaaa!! Excellent piece! Kerry's explanations in the last couple of days have become impossibly and discombooobulatingly multi-syllabic, that by the time he's done with his verbal walk about, one is not sure what he has said. I think I'm gonna need one of those magic hats, a MassaTOOsets decoder ring and a snappy yellow bracelet to devine the meaning to his answers..
Excellent! Glad to see Bush Blue doing so well, and glad to see there's some attempt to take back our Republican blue color.
Don't know who made it but I love it!
Magic 'Boonie' hat, LOL.
I don't think a Purple Heart would mean much if you had been wearing THAT hat!!
I don't think a Purple Heart would mean much if you had been wearing THAT hat!!
Ha Ha Ha, U.N.Helmut Perfect for Kerry
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.