Olympia Traveller C Typewriter
Posted on 09/15/2004 12:02:40 AM PDT by Tahts-a-dats-ago
This is awesome.
BWAAAHAHAHAAA!!! I'll have to go visit these folks! They're GREAT!
No bids so far. Guess CBS or the Kerry campaign hasn't seen it yet.
This auction is for a vintage IBM Selectric 72 typewriter. This is one of the early Selectrics produced in the early 1960s, a Model 7X. Now you can create those forged documents right the very first time. We will ship at no charge for Buy It Now buyers.
Yes, this is the one CBS should have used to forge there documents. So to give your forged documents that original look use the original equipment. All you need is some old typing paper to give your forged documents that unique original professional look!
The IBM Selectric was introduced in 1961, and was revolutionary, in that the platen does not move, but instead the type element moves. The single type element (ball) has 88 characters on it, in 4 rows. This typewriter is a model 72, with a cloth ribbon in a plastic cartridge.
The typewriter comes with a Prestige Elite 72 typing ball and a 10 1403 OCR typing ball (We do have other types available).
This typewriter has been tested and is in very good condition
Everything included in the auction is shown in the photos.
We double box all typewriters for safer shipping!
ROTFLMAO!!
Such a shame....for $250.00 Dan could have saved his career, if he had just had an ounce of intelligence replacing that mountain of condescension that he spews forth every day.
Perhaps a benevolent Freeper can buy this one and send it to Dan so that he can be prepared for next time?
Whoops! I forgot...there won't be a next time for Dan...he's toast. Bye Dan.....
Now that we're back to talking about typewriters, Killian's old secretary said the machine she used was an Olympia. Which Olympia, I haven't a clue.
Probably used only once.
The Ebay "questions from other buyers" section on the page is fun too....here is a small sampling:
Questions from other buyers
Q: If I am caught in my forging efforts, will you vouch for the authenticity of the documents (as you are a typewriter sales expert) or should I look els...more answered on: Sep-14-04
A: You should consult CBS for all your authenticity needs because they will defend your forged documents to the death. Ethics, honesty and credibility will...more
Q: Is the ball Times New Roman and does the typewriter do proportional spacing and superscript? Otherwise, it's not of much use to forge documents. answered on: Sep-14-04
A: This machine will only type your forged documents in the original format they would have been typed in during the early 1970s. You can go ahead and used...more
Q: The folks at www.johnfketchup.com have been scouring the world for this typewriter, and we thought the last one was scooped up by the treasonous aholes...more answered on: Sep-14-04
A: Don't forget about the Bush classroom detention slips and the Bush military school demerit slips.
Q: I wish I could leave you positive feedback just for the commentary! Wouldn't it be nice if you get paid per auction visit? answered on: Sep-14-04
A: Oh yes! We would be very wealthy people. Thanks again.
Q: Will this be useful in forging my Doctors Degree in "Investigative Reporting" answered on: Sep-14-04
A: Absolutely!
View all 31 questions | Ask seller a question
Dang! I never saw IBM selectrics until late 70's or in the 80's. And it was like this really nice typewriter that not everybody got to use. In the day, there was mostly just plain electric typewriters, and even that was like a modern marvel to us youngsters.
Those sumbi*ches weigh like 75 pounds if they are anything like their descendants. Not saying it ain't wurth it, though!
LOL. I like this:
"On Sep-14-04 at 14:52:13 PDT, seller added the following information:
Although we have taken the liberty of using some timely humor to describe this item, we would appreciate bids by serious bidders only. We do appreciate the humorous bid by karl_rowe of $14,999 but had to cancel the bid so that others could make legitimate bids. "
The Commanding Officer's office had one special electric typewriter that could handle large documents. It had an extra long carriage and was not a Selectric. It could not do proportional spacing, but did have a half-space feature that allowed for better centering tasks.
From Administration through Communications departments on the World's largest U. S. Naval Station, there were various electric typewriters in use, but never one that was capable of the "Super Script" that could shrink and elevate the "th" or produce proportionally spaced documents.
BTW, the Commanding Officer of U. S. Naval Station, Roosevelt Roads, Puerto Rico was Capt. Harold "Hal" Vita, who appears on the 1944 cover of Life Magazine as a young Gold Wing Naval Fighter Pilot Ace:
Mahttp://www.life.com/Life/covers/1944/cv050144.htmly 1
The most sophisticated typewriters were not capable of proportional spacing.
After my hitch was up, I worked on the college newspaper (The Cougar) of the University Of Houston where special computers produced typed data on a six-hole key punch tape that was then fed thou a "double-door freezer sized" photo processor where any specific type and size could be obtained by dialing different numbers and thus produce a "picture" of the article, all sized and proportionally spaced, which was then cut and waxed on the back and then fit onto the page by the composing room staff.
Anywho, the documents Rather produced are fakes, really stupid fakes, and Rather is a stupid head.
Questions from other buyers for this listing
Q: If I am caught in my forging efforts, will you vouch for the authenticity of the documents (as you are a typewriter sales expert) or should I look elsewhere? Answered on Sep-14-04
A: You should consult CBS for all your authenticity needs because they will defend your forged documents to the death. Ethics, honesty and credibility will not be a major consideration!
Q: Is the ball Times New Roman and does the typewriter do proportional spacing and superscript? Otherwise, it's not of much use to forge documents. Answered on Sep-14-04
A: This machine will only type your forged documents in the original format they would have been typed in during the early 1970s. You can go ahead and used your regular computer Times New Roman font.
Q: The folks at www.johnfketchup.com have been scouring the world for this typewriter, and we thought the last one was scooped up by the treasonous aholes at CBS. Thank god you had this one available so that we can forge up some "Bush was fired from McDonalds in 1954" and "Bush ate my baby" documents!!! Answered on Sep-14-04
A: Don't forget about the Bush classroom detention slips and the Bush military school demerit slips.
Q: I wish I could leave you positive feedback just for the commentary! Wouldn't it be nice if you get paid per auction visit? Answered on Sep-14-04
A: Oh yes! We would be very wealthy people. Thanks again.
Q: Will this be useful in forging my Doctors Degree in "Investigative Reporting" Answered on Sep-14-04
A: Absolutely!
Q: So, do you have that phantom typing ball with a genuine "th" superscript? ...or any vintage 8 x 10.5" TANG stationery? ~ RatherBiased.com Answered on Sep-14-04
A: Dear RatherBiased.com, You'll find it on the far left of any DNC stationery store.
Q: But do you know the frequency? Signed Kenneth Answered on Sep-14-04
A: Yes I do it's 110204.
Q: Is this the kind of typewriter that I've seen on Andy Rooney's desk? If so, do you ever wonder why some people use typewriters and others use pen and paper? (I prefer pen and paper myself. I just like the way it feels.) Answered on Sep-14-04
A: Good point!
Q: HEY! I demand that you stop your discrimination. Our campaign has as much a right to spend money to buy this item as the Kerry campaign does, and the fact that you're turning away my offer proves you to be nothing more than a partisan hack. What would you like to say about this allegation? Signed, Karl Rove Answered on Sep-14-04
A: Personally I voted to accept the bid of $14,999 you offered for the typewriter before I voted against it.
Q: Thank you for the day's best commentary! Wonderful. Answered on Sep-14-04
A: We do what we can. THANKS!
Q: LMAO, ROTF. lol.......bravo. :) Answered on Sep-14-04
A: 2U2, YM
Q: This is all very fine, but do you carry teletypes? I need to gin up some after-action reports and for that genuine naval-message-flimsy look, you need a teletype. Answered on Sep-14-04
A: Try looking for antiques on eBay.
Q: Will we win the election? Signed, Karl Rove Answered on Sep-14-04
A: With the implosion of a certain campaign and it's news network support that just may be, but we won't know until Nov. 2
Q: I need to alter some Silver Star and Bronze Star citations, would this typewriter be sutable for that? Answered on Sep-14-04
A: Should work wonderfully, but you'll some old blank citation forms. You may want to contact John Kerry as I'm sure he has some blanks lying around.
Q: I don't really need a typewriter, since I've got WordPerfect 11 and a LaserPrinter, but I must comment that you guys are the epitome of why freedom triumphs: adaptability to circumstances and a great sense of humor! Thanks for one of the best laughs of the week! Answered on Sep-14-04
A: Thanks for the compliment!
Q: I just read about this on the OpinionJournal-Best of the Web. Had to come take a look. Great work! Answered on Sep-14-04
A: Thanks!
Q: Wow, this thing has a "1" and an "L"? Impressive! According to my source at CBS, that would be difficult reproduce on a computer today. Answered on Sep-14-04
A: It's amazing isn't it - when you have the real thing you don't have to worry about it!
Q: How many times do I need to make a copy of the typed page on a copier to make my dubious forgery look real? Dan - NYC Answered on Sep-14-04
A: Hey, this is an authentic typewriter. No copies are need to get that 'original typewriter' look.
Q: Will this typewriter support proportional font spacing and superscripts? Answered on Sep-14-04
A: Only when there is a full moon!
Q: What is the serial number on this typewriter? I used to have one of these and someone stole it. I need it back real soon. John Kerry John Kerry Answered on Sep-14-04
A: Contact Dan Rather at CBS for source information on this typewriter.
Q: I think you should keep politics out of your description. Answered on Sep-14-04
A: We consider this a fare and balanced listing with a significant touch of humor.
Q: Hysterical, hysterical, hysterical! And, look how many hits you've had!! Too funny. I'm sending it to Rush Limbaugh next. Answered on Sep-14-04
A: Thanks for the compliment!
Q: Can I do superscript with this? Also, does the type ball come in Times Roman or Palentino? What about kerning? Can you send it plain wrapped to a post office box? Please answer quickly as I need one like this real bad. Thanks. Terry McAuliffe Answered on Sep-14-04
A: Terry, Terry, Terry, you still don't get it. This machine is all you need to create it the way it would have been done all those years ago!!
Q: And Dan Blather .... should be the next bidder on it! Thanks for my laugh of the day! John k9uwa Answered on Sep-14-04
A: We are looking forward to his purchase. Then he can cover his rear end.
Q: Can it do superscripts, proportional type, and automatic centering? Because a REAL Selectric can. Answered on Sep-14-04
A: I just know this was the most popular model for it's day and commonly used by Texas National Guard.
Q: Do you have cache of 8 x 10.5" paper, too? I hear that's the size of paper in use in the military in the 1970s. ;-) Good work - hope you get a legit buyer, too. Keep up the right work. Eric, art / media. Answered on Sep-14-04
A: Were checking with CBS on the paper for comparison purposes but as you know they can't seem to find the original.
Q: I love it, I love it, I love it! You are very creative and it is really the truth. Does it have superscript? Best regards, A lurker, B.D. Kittley, Jr. aa5oi@kittley.com Answered on Sep-14-04
A: No superscript on these old babies just the real thing.
Q: Im not looking for a typewriter, but I just wanted to let you know I got a heck of a laugh reading your description. Thanks Claude Greiner Answered on Sep-14-04
A: Your welcome.
Q: You are a prince amongst lesser sellers; the ad text is witty and appreciated. Also ...your ad was linked by Jon Henke (sp?) of the QandO blog, so I suspect you're going to see a LOT of traffic. Anyone, I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciated the humour. G'luck w/the sale! Cheers! Answered on Sep-14-04
A: From the number of hits we are getting I won't be surprised if this gets on a number of blogs. I wonder if Rush Limbaugh or Sean Hannity have been alerted. (I'm sure the people at CBS have been)
Q: Hilarious! I won't bid, (I'm not into forging Texas ANG documents) but I just thought I'd give you kudos. LOL! Great description. Incidentally, I'm a Freeper, if that means anything to you. Answered on Sep-14-04
A: Thanks for the kudos.
Q: Oh my gosh, this is the best auction I have ever seen! Thank you for the laugh, you made my day! Answered on Sep-14-04
A: Glade we could make your day! We all need a good laugh once and a while.
Watch your language. Rather is not a stupid head.
He is a doody head.
Bump and be sure to read the questions to seller!
February 31th, 1979 As President of teh U.s., I issue ab executrix order that pudding be served every day in the cbskcommisary.
This thread (and the ebay listing) is hysterical.
I saw that yesterday. I almost bid on it just because it was so funny. :)
Thanks for the morning chuckle!
The questions & answers are so funny!
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