OUT OF MY HEAD: Everything to Live For '04 (Bush Victory = Mass Suicide?)

The Carolinian ^ | 9/14/04 | Joe Killian

[MikalM]

I have friends who refused to watch, listen to or even read Bush's speech to the RNC last week -but I just had to see it. I was working that night, so I set my VCR and came home to the tape at around 1 a.m.

It's hard to describe the mixture of nausea and fear that gripped me as I watched this speech. I was offended at the use of the tragedy of 9/11 as political leverage - but, in a strange way, it was almost a relief. The Republicans have finally fully embraced the position they've been hinting at for months: "A vote for Kerry is a vote to dig up 9/11's victims, spit in their hearts and stomp on their brains."

This all turns my stomach - but what scares me is how effective this tact has been. Who would have dreamed that attacking the war record of a Vietnam hero who protested upon his return, trotting out the most moderate members of your party while adopting a right wing platform and all but ignoring the country's economic crisis would actually work? But - here we are, running neck and neck with a little less than two months left to go.

If I were Bill Clinton, I'd take to a hospital bed and recover for a month too.

Of course, the greatest strength of the Bush campaign is the weakness of the Kerry campaign. Yesterday I watched Kerry stumping on C-Span and noticed the dead silence when he came to an obvious laugh line. He can't seem to communicate to the audience when they're supposed to laugh, and though he's trying his damnedest to be charming his every smile looks exhausted, shy and desperate. The consequence: though he's making good arguments, calling the president on his record and presenting his own plan for the country, we're still made to feel as though he's not quite sure of himself, even not quite behind his own campaign.

Bush on the other hand is ignoring the economy, embracing his arrogance, spouting ideological catchphrases without anything to back it all up - but he does it in that charming, rakish frat boy sort of way. You almost want to pinch his cheeks and say, "You scamp! I want to boot your sorry ass out of office for dividing this country, costing us 1,000 lives in Iraq and trying to make us all march lockstep in your parade of Born Again Christians - but you're just so cute!"

I feel this way about our College Republicans sometimes. Even when they say things that disgust me, I can't quite believe they're serious. Recently one of them said to me, when I asked if he hated the moderates dominating the convention: "Well, they may not pass all the acid tests of being a republican, but they all agree on the most important thing: they don't mind the sight of dead Arabs."

This is the kind of awful, racist joke that you can imagine Bush sharing with Cheney as they watch Arnold and Rudy take the stage. But the awful truth is that it isn't a joke - it's the darkest and most awful part of this man reaching out to the darkest, most awful part of America. It's a campaign built on fear and hatred disguised as patriotism and piety - and I'm scared to death it's going to work.

I read recently that more than million people the world over take their lives every year - more than are murdered or killed in wars. The latest World Health Organization figures suggest a suicide takes place every forty seconds, somewhere in the world.

And so it's not hard to imagine that on November 3rd, if the election can be called by then, there might be a sort of grim mass exodus from this sad planet should Bush pull this election out. My generation may be particularly vulnerable to the urge to lay back in a warm bath and open up their veins as chants of "Four More Years" echo horribly from every 24 hour cable news station.

I remember the awful, kee-capped feeling on the day Al Gore finally conceded in 2000. What else could he do? Still - there was a feeling that we'd all, as a generation, had our first turn at bat and struck out. Or, rather, that a bad call had sent us back to the bench for four long years. We couldn't have imagined, then, how badly the game would go - or how much would be at stake when we next stepped to the plate.

But, though I finally have my own bathroom this year, you won't find me dead in my tub on November 3rd, no matter what happens. I'm casting my vote for Kerry, whether or not he makes me go weak at the knees. I'm praying to God, Jesus, the Holy Mother and whoever and whatever else is out there that it goes our way this time. But, if it doesn't, I'm going to stick around until we finally oust these bastards. And I'm going to dance in the street, drink till I'm sick and sleep for three days afterward. The thought alone will be enough to keep me going.

[.cnI redruM]

"A vote for Kerry is a vote to dig up 9/11's victims, spit in their hearts and stomp on their brains." - Thanks for the slogan, Killian. Listen to the Prozac, Joe. It will help you get better.

[Petronski]

Sheesh. What a pussy.

[Dr. Frank fan]

This person needs to seek help.

[Lunkhead_01]

Joe Killian? Is that maybe the J... Killian who signed the forged memos?

[glennherman]

Maybe he will choke on his own vomit during the three day drinking binge....

[Petronski]

This is the kind of awful, racist joke that you can imagine Bush sharing with Cheney as they watch Arnold and Rudy take the stage.

This creepy writer made up that racist joke, not any Republican. The racism belongs to Joe Killian. What a little prick.

[Michael Goldsberry]

"(Bush Victory = Mass Suicide?) "

I want that put forward as a Constitutional Amendment!

[MikalM]

Joe Killian is a senior at UNCG majoring in Political Science and English. As managing editor, he works with the paper's section editors to develop story ideas, finalize layout and get the paper to press each week.

Joe has written for a number of professional daily newspapers, including THE BRISTOL PRESS in his hometown of Bristol, Connecticut, THE CAPE COD TIMES in Hyannis, Massachussetts and THE NEWS AND RECORD in Greensboro, North Carolina.

Joe began as a reporter on THE CAROLINIAN in the fall of 2000 and worked as News Editor and Executive Editor before taking his current position. His weekly column, OUT OF MY HEAD, is in its fourth year.

[Petronski]

I think he might have toxic shock syndrome. He had better change his tampon soon.

[Lion Den Dan]

You forgot the nose blocking green particle hurl alert. Today, I terminated a friendship of 30 years for a lesser attack.

[Constitution Day]

Joe Killian - Managing Wuss

Joe Killian is a senior at UNCG majoring in Political Science and English. As managing editor, he works with the paper's section editors to develop story ideas, finalize layout and get the paper to press each week.

Joe has written for a number of professional daily newspapers, including THE BRISTOL PRESS in his hometown of Bristol, Connecticut, THE CAPE COD TIMES in Hyannis, Massachussetts and THE NEWS AND RECORD in Greensboro, North Carolina.

Joe began as a reporter on THE CAROLINIAN in the fall of 2000 and worked as News Editor and Executive Editor before taking his current position. His weekly column, OUT OF MY HEAD, is in its fourth year.

[humblegunner]

I remember the awful, kee-capped feeling on the day Al Gore finally conceded in 2000.

Kee-caps were not available in 2000, they are a part of an advanced
font that also includes kee-boards the Algore only recently invented.

[Rocko]

He has four additional miserable years ahead of him, I'm afraid.

Tough.

[B-Chan]

When Black Friday Comes

[Constitution Day]

Oops, I was slow on that one...

[Faraday]

Thinning the herd bump.

[VeniVidiVici]

"You scamp! I want to boot your sorry ass out of office for dividing this country...

Scamp??

I think the Toxic Shock/Tampon argument is dead-on for this guy. I can't imagine a male college student talking like this.

I think we just witnessed a "hissy fit".

Scamp??

[dfwgator]

Don't worry Joe, with your ability to make stuff up, I'm sure you have a bright future at CBS' News Department.

[Judith Anne]

Gosh, why post this?