DO I HEAR KERRY PRESS AIDES BANGING THEIR HEADS AGAINST THE WALL? (funny)

nationalreview.com ^ | 09/07 03:52 PM | jim geraghty

[pending]

Kerry Spot

DO I HEAR KERRY PRESS AIDES BANGING THEIR HEADS AGAINST THE WALL? [09/07 03:52 PM]

It's moments like this that I really pity the nice men and women working in Kerry's campaign. They put enormous effort into convincing the press and the public that their man isn't indecisive, isn't a waffler, isn't incapable of making the quick, tough decision, and then...

Mr. Kerry stepped boldly into the verbal minefield early, arriving at a front-porch session with supporters in Canonsburg, Pa., near Pittsburgh. As he likes to do, he brandished a bit of local color to show he wasn't just any interloping politician blowing through town.

But in so doing he seemed to forget that Republicans have been tearing him down for months as a vacillating, indecisive, finger-in-the-wind politician of the worst order.

"Everybody told me, 'God, if you're coming to Canonsburg, you've got to find time to go to Toy's, and he'll take care of you,'" Mr. Kerry said, dropping the name of a restaurant his motorcade had passed on the way in. "I understand it's my kind of place, because you don't have to - you know, when they give you the menu, I'm always struggling: Ah, what do you want?

"He just gives you what he's got, right?" Mr. Kerry added, continuing steadily off a gangplank of his own making: "And you don't have to worry, it's whatever he's cooked up that day. And I think that's the way it ought to work, for confused people like me who can't make up our minds."

"Confused people like me who can't make up our minds." If Karl Rove had the mind-control ray that his enemies keep accusing him of having, could he have come up with a worse phrase for Kerry to use? Heck, maybe Rove really does have one of those things.

[pending]

"Karl Rove mind-control ray" The hits just keep on coming.

"And I think that's the way it ought to work, for confused people like me who can't make up our minds."

[MarkeyD]

Anybody got this on tape? Perfect for a Michael Moore like splice and edit.

[Arkie2]

Can anybody put together that photo of him on his knees in the NASA uniform with a word ballon and this quote?

[Snake65]

I think he was trying self-deprecating humor on for size. It didn't fit too well.

[ken21]

craziness from the top to the bottom of the democrat party explodes across the nation and world.

[goldstategop]

I loved that tag line. Where's Nurse Ratched when you need her. BWAHAHAHAHA!!! You can't make that up about Toy's Restaurant. John F*ckin's really spinning like a top out there and not just mind you, about diner menus.

[Hi Heels]

That's because there's no humility in the man.

[martin_fierro]

"Everybody told me, 'God, if you're coming to Canonsburg, you've got to find time to go to Toy's, and he'll take care of you,'" Mr. Kerry said, dropping the name of a restaurant his motorcade had passed on the way in. "I understand it's my kind of place, because you don't have to - you know, when they give you the menu, I'm always struggling: Ah, what do you want?
"He just gives you what he's got, right?" Mr. Kerry added, continuing steadily off a gangplank of his own making: "And you don't have to worry, it's whatever he's cooked up that day. And I think that's the way it ought to work, for confused people like me who can't make up our minds."

Waffling at the waffle house!

[Feiny]

I am sure it won't get the media play that the Bush comment on OBGYN's practicing their love on women gets.

Both of these errors crack me up.

[tioga]

OMG, did he really say that? LOL

[Doomonyou]

"Karl Rove mind-control ray"

Try one of these:

[Prost1]

"who can't make up our minds" No wonder he flips/flops. He is multi-minded! Hahahahhahahaha......

[Judith Anne]

"He just gives you what he's got, right?" Mr. Kerry added, continuing steadily off a gangplank of his own making: "And you don't have to worry, it's whatever he's cooked up that day. And I think that's the way it ought to work, for confused people like me who can't make up our minds."

I'm HOWLING laughing here! <

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

[Graymatter]

>>..."for confused people like me who can't make up our minds."

Yep, he's found just the right restaurant to practice his love ;) of nuance, quiddities and pettifoggery.

[goldstategop]

Apparently, Kerry has NEVER dined in less than a five star restaurant in his entire life. No wonder Teresa didn't know what chili was and its obvious Liveshot has no idea how to read a menu with such things as hot dogs, hamburgers, and philly cheesesteak sandwiches on it. Heck, he doesn't even know how to eat a hoagie!

[bootyist-monk]

"He just gives you what he's got, right?" Mr. Kerry added, continuing steadily off a gangplank of his own making: "And you don't have to worry, it's whatever he's cooked up that day. And I think that's the way it ought to work, for confused people like me who can't make up our minds."

Is he talking about Carville?

[evolved_rage]

Its elitism. He doesn't know what to order, because he hates it all since it is "little people" food. He ordered the swiss cheese steak several months back because swiss cheese was recognizable to his educated palate.

[jwalsh07]

Too much. LOL

[Nam Vet]

WOW ! Is there a great campaign ad in that, or what!?

Nam Vet

[Delbert]

Little David was in his fourth-grade class when the teacher asked The children what their fathers did for a living.

All the typical answers came up -- fireman, cook, policeman, janitor, journalist, salesman, doctor, garbage man, lawyer, etc.

David was uncharacteristically quiet, so the teacher asked him about his father. "He's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and other men put money in his underwear. Sometimes he'll go home with a guy."

The teacher, obviously shaken, set the other children to work on Some exercises and took David aside, asking, "Is that really true about your father?"

"No," said David, "He works for the Kerry campaign, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."