Kerry just flubbed the opening pitch at the Yanks-Sox game

ESPN | 7/25/04 | me

[finnman69]

Kerry just 'threw' out the opening pitch at the Boston-Yankees game. Just saw Kerry pitch a really weak opening pitch, well short of the plate, bouncing under the catcher. What a poser!

[maica]

Thanks for the clarification

[biblewonk]

ping. I think he has to go to the pottie.

[SpinyNorman]

Kerry has a guy named "Mr. Morton" who helps him get dressed in the morning. Mr. Morton keeps Kerry's schedule for him and makes sure that whenever Kerry is traveling he always has a special pillow on the hotel bed. The pillow has Kerry's monogram on it and is a special hypo-allergenic pillow. As are Kerry's sheets that Mr. Morton replaces the hotel sheets with. And he also brings special towels for Kerry that are extra soft. Kerry's wife buys them for Kerry in France. Along with special toilet paper.

According to Mr. Morton Kerry only wears a pair of undergarmets once. Then they are thrown away. Mr. Morton is devoted to Kerry. After Kerry's prostate surgery other Heinz staff members said that Mr. Morton held Kerry's penis while Kerry was urinating during his "revovery". Mr. Morton is also a trained nurse and checks Mr. Kerry's prostate every night. For some reason Kerry has never told Mr. Morton his prostate was removed.

June 2004 Edition - Butler's and Manservant Monthly

Mr. Morton is what one would not-so-politely call a "rumpswab."

[Flightdeck]

Wait, is that a real article?

[Mia T]

An apt metaphor for his electoral pitch....

Look, Larry... [W]e were... not at war in the 1990s... and young Americans were not deployed... under President Clinton. What American would not trade the movement in the right direction that we had under President Clinton?

 

John Kerry
Larry King Live
July 8, 2004

kerry, clinton + sandy berger's pants

(viewing movie requires Flash Player 7, available HERE)

johnkerryisdangerousforamerica.blogspot.com

THE DEMOCRATS ARE GONNA GET US KILLED (kerry, clinton + sandy berger's pants) SERlES ₂
KERRY-DEMOCRAT CONTEMPT FOR NATIONAL SECURITY[annotated]

THE DEMOCRATS-ARE-GONNA-GET-US-KILLED (kerry, clinton + sandy berger's pants) SERlES₁

dox in sox on lummox in box on fox

THE REAL "REAL DEAL"
(what Kerry's commanders and crewmates REALLY think of him--with transcripts)

Did John Kerry pick a running mate or hire a lawyer when he selected John Edwards?

THE TERRORISTS' USEFUL IDIOTS
all the usual suspects

A Vote for Kerry is a Vote for the Terrorists

ELECTION BOTTOM LINE:
TERRORIST SYMPATHIZER or TERRORIST ANNIHILATOR

UNFIT #6: The Deadly Kerry-Hollywood Axis
HOW CAN YOU PUT YOUR CHILDREN'S LIVES IN ITS HANDS?

UNFIT: taking the measure of a would-be commander-in-chief
#1-making the tough choices in a post-9/11 world
UNFIT: taking the measure of a would-be commander-in-chief
#2-understanding the job description

UNFIT: taking the measure of a would-be commander-in-chief
#3-sang-froid and the "nuclear" button

UNFIT: taking the measure of a would-be commander-in-chief
#4 - Kerry champions tolerance for terrorists

sanitizing evil
Kerry Cabal Censors Nick Berg Decapitation

"Loose Cannon" Kerry's AWOL/PURPLE-HEART FRAUD

pro-islamofascist-terrorist radical chic

USEFUL IDIOTS

MOORE IS LESS--THE MOVIE

The Cycle of Violence:
NOW WITH HYPERLINKED INSTRUCTION MANUAL

JOHN KERRY'S RECKLESS TET-OFFENSIVE-GAMBIT REPLAY:
the left's jihad against America is killing our troops, aiding + abetting the terrorists and imperiling all Americans

bill clinton, boy "genius," unwittingly bares all on BBC

deconstructing clinton… "just because I could"

vetting missus clinton...

The Parallel Universe of Jamie Gorelick

nepotism + tokenism = a nancy pelosi
(or a hillary clinton)

Kerry's Belated Condemnation Focuses on Process
Kerry Lacks Moral Authority to Condemn Content

"CRY BUSH" + Iraqi-Prisoner "Abuse"
What are the Dems up to?

DON'T BELIEVE YOUR LYING EARS (The Perjurer Returns)
(Clinton: Claims I Turned Down Bin Laden are 'Bull')

The Mary Jo White Memo:
Documentation of clintons' and Gorelick's willful, seditious malfeasance

What is the REAL Reason for Gorelick's Wall?

Q ERTY6 ^{utter failure}_BUMP

Lib Author Regrets Voting (TWICE!) for clinton
"Sickened" by clinton's Failure to Protect America from Terrorism

MUST-READ BOOK FOR DEMOCRATS:
How clintons' Failures Unleashed Global Terror
(Who in his right mind would ever want the clintons back in the Oval Office?)

The Man Who Warned America
(Why a Rapist is Not a Fit President)

UDAY: "The end is near… this time I think the… Americans are serious, Bush is not like Clinton."

 

 

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[SpinyNorman]

As good as it is, instead of "Vote Bush," try "Can't compare!" to keep your Kerry can't..... theme!! (Just a suggestion!)

[mewzilla]

Kerry is saying he planned the baseball game appearance a week ago. If so, then why were the press buses, staff rental cars, TV news vans, Kerry/Edwards campaigners ALL WAITING with engines running, etc at the airport in Florida???

I was there and went up to a Kerry worker and asked where the public was going to be able to stand. He said he didn't know. I asked what time Kerry was supposed to land. He said he didn't know. He said basically none of the workers there knew what was going on. He said to me: "You know about as much as I do."

I'm thinking this was a last minute change. So did anyone ever hear why Kerry changed his schedule? Somehow I doubt it was his love for America's pasttime.

[SpinyNorman]

The only brush clearing Kerry has ever done was moving his hairbrush from his dresser top to his travel bag.

Or when his rumpwab, Mr. Morton, trims his pubic hair.

[SpinyNorman]

"Rumpwab" = rumpswab! Sorry!!

[ppaul]

Oui.

[isthisnickcool]

Wait, is that a real article?

No, just some of my bad creative writing. But it seems like it could be true. And that's kinda scary, eh?

[treeclimber]

Damn, TomGuy, you are good...nice post of the video of the girlie boy

[treeclimber]

great links there....spread them around....

[CharlieOK1]

what a puss

[Mudboy Slim]

I saw the replay...Hanoi John is a girlie-man...LOL!!

FReegards...MUD

[cyncooper]

Seeing it this morning...My goodness! Can't a girl go out on a Sunday night and not miss all kinds of news?!

Thanks for the ping.

hahahahaha

[mvpel]

That excruciating "kiss" is the true Dukakis-in-a-tank moment for Effin'

He has so many moments, it's hard to choose.

[Not A Snowbird]

I know, I know... but it would be great to see.

[Steve_Seattle]

He threw the pitch from in front of the mound, and still bounced it in? No wonder they booed.

[votelife]

hahahahaha

You see, Kerry is a girly man. He throws like a girl and shouldn't have tried this. Now he gets compared to Bush's perfect strike post 9/11 in Yankee stadium!

Also, true sports fans like Bush!