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Morford: Why Hookers Love Republicans
San Francisco Chronicle ^ | Friday, July 16, 2004 | Mark Morford

Posted on 07/16/2004 7:28:43 AM PDT by presidio9

"BoBo? It's Syndee. You ready, girl? The convention starts in an hour, and the senators are salivating!" "Hi, Syn! Almost ready! Just finishing my makeup. Hey, which outfit you think I should wear tonight? My red, white, and blue glitter spandex halter with the peekaboo panties, or the red vinyl skirt with the Velcro tear-away crotch and the big picture of the M-1 tank on the butt?"

"Oooh, I'd go with the tank, Bo. This is the GOP convention, girl! These Republicans love their war, you know? It's all about big phallic missiles and manly howitzers and 'weapons of ass destruction.' Be sure to use that line, too -- they eat that stuff up. Hurry up! The cab's waiting!"

"Howitz-what? Hang on one more minute, Syn -- I wanna look my best. After all, I hear we got a lot of competition this week."

"Bo, there's so many strippers and hookers in town to play 'hide the WMD' with these conservatives, it would make Larry Flynt proud. They flew in from London, Seattle, L.A., all over, just for this, because demand is so high."

"Wow! Wait wait wait, I'm confused. Aren't the Republicans supposed to be the 'moral,' sex-hating, anti-women, Bible-quoting ones? I don't get it."

"Worst-kept secret in all of politics, Bo. It's a fact: Demand for sex workers is at an all-time high when the GOP convention's in town. Hell, there was even a New York Daily News article about it a while back. These Repubs are such a desperately horny, repressed bunch, they just can't get enough of paying for 'amoral' sex. So ironic. If Middle America only knew how this group is so fulla perverts and horndogs, they'd have a fit."

"I bet they already know, and just don't wanna 'fess up to it? I mean, I even heard that little Johnny Ashcroft has a secret fetish for tequila and handcuffs."

"So true! It's funny, people think the GOP convention must be all about square dancing and white-wine spritzers and bow ties and wistful Reaganomics. Ha! Remember, BoBo, this is the party of guns and corporate money and repressed homosexuality and big oil, misogyny and Xanax addictions and war war war. These GOP boys have some good issues. Deep-seated anxieties and fears and the most extensive secret gay-porn collections you've ever seen! Cut these boys loose among their own and it's like putting a priest in a schoolyard."

"Mysog-what? Wow, you sure know a lot, Syn! Are you, like, psychic or something?"

"Girl, I've seen enough Repubs sneak out on their wives to make Jerry Falwell quiver. Working this convention is like giving candy to starving children. Plus, I was a speechwriter for Bush the Elder back in '92. I worked the convention floor as a delegate."

(Excerpt) Read more at sfgate.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Government; Miscellaneous; News/Current Events; Politics/Elections; US: New York
KEYWORDS: 42yearlifeexpectancy; aidsgayplague; bushco; epluribussmokepot; formeranalvirgin; futureaidscase; godhatesfags; herniatedrectumsrock; heterophobia; idiotarian; ifeelprettyosopretty; mancrushonbush; mandatorybarfalert; mba; moonbat; morford; pillowbiteragenda; praytheresnogodmark; sandinhisvagina; thefrenchmistake; yellowcakedpanties
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To: suzyq5558

Morford writes just to get posted on FR and then he can brag to his friends about tweaking the conservatives. That's all.


41 posted on 07/16/2004 8:44:39 AM PDT by AmishDude
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To: presidio9
This brings up a point: The GOP better be damn careful at convention time because the Dems would LOVE to catch a few Repiblicans cheating on wives and what-not to counter the Clinton label of Democratic debauchery.

As a matter of fact, we can probably count on it. A DemocRAT hooker sting operation to catch a bunch of us. Anyone else think of this as a possibility?

42 posted on 07/16/2004 8:52:21 AM PDT by bigjoesaddle (Shrug)
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To: presidio9

This is a typical example of this writers product and the fact that he continues to be published by SFGate/SFChronicle and loved by it's readers is testament to the nasty, intolerant and hateful attitude that represents modern liberal ideology.


43 posted on 07/16/2004 8:59:36 AM PDT by Bob J (Rightalk.com...coming soon!)
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To: presidio9

Another way to look at this is to observe that this is a backhanded admission that the Democrats are basically homos who don't "do" girs and cheapskates who want it for free. Which is probably true.


44 posted on 07/16/2004 9:50:36 AM PDT by surely_you_jest
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To: presidio9

Mark Morford mocking hookers? He should show more respect to his betters.


45 posted on 07/16/2004 9:56:53 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Am Yisrael Chai!)
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To: AmishDude

:) Well i sure live could without seeing his name anywhere around here. the man is a disgusting pig. and he has nothing redeeming about him.


46 posted on 07/16/2004 10:09:57 AM PDT by suzyq5558 (Slicks bracelet is a secret mood ring when its red he's fondly remembering the KSNAP of the thong)
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To: presidio9
... they just can't get enough of paying for 'amoral' sex ...

It seems that Morford, being the enlightened, progressive, super-smart peter-puffer that he is, would know the difference between amoral, and immoral.

47 posted on 07/16/2004 10:16:44 AM PDT by spodefly (I can't handle the pressure to come up with interesting taglines for every post.)
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To: suzyq5558

Morford is liberal genital worship boiled down to its very essence. I find her fascinating.


48 posted on 07/16/2004 10:33:19 AM PDT by presidio9 (FREE MARTHA)
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To: areafiftyone
I hate to say this but this is not the first time I've heard this in the news about the Republican convention and hookers. I heard a big thing in the news about a month ago about prostitutes and call girls coming from all across the United States to NYC for the convention. This was not any columnist writing it either it was on the mainstream news. Apparently some big name escort services and call girl services called the news media with the story. Apparently the idea of a ton of Republicans in one place means an opportunity to make more money for them. This news has been out for a while.

Just because the escort services are saying this, and alerted the news media, doesn't mean that it's true. I think the whole story smacks of being an urban legend; it's too good to be true.

49 posted on 07/16/2004 10:35:17 AM PDT by NYCVirago
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To: presidio9
I miss one night of praying for Mr. Morford and look what happens! This dreck results!

Don't worry Mark, you're still my prayer project. Your mind and soul must be a very unhappy place...
50 posted on 07/16/2004 10:44:38 AM PDT by GodBlessRonaldReagan (Count Petofi will not be denied!)
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To: suzyq5558
and he has nothing redeeming about him.

Now, now. Noone is useless. He can always serve as a bad example.

51 posted on 07/16/2004 10:57:19 AM PDT by AmishDude
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To: presidio9
It really is disgraceful that the SF Chronicle, a newspaper that purports to be respectable, keeps Morford on as a columnist. Never mind the issues, this is just bilge that no tabloid would print.
52 posted on 07/16/2004 11:07:38 AM PDT by jordan8
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To: jordan8
jordan8 said: "It really is disgraceful that the SF Chronicle, a newspaper that purports to be respectable, keeps Morford on as a columnist. Never mind the issues, this is just bilge that no tabloid would print."

And no respectable person should subscribe to such trash. I would never allow a cent of my money to support this person and no Freeper should do so either. Without subscriptions, these liberal rags will die the death they so richly deserve.

The recent cases of circulation fraud indicate that we can have an impact on the liberal media. But only if we stop paying them.

53 posted on 07/16/2004 1:42:46 PM PDT by William Tell
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