Regards, Ivan
Posted on 07/10/2004 5:36:33 PM PDT by MadIvan
THE presidential election is so close, there is not a hair's-breadth between them. Which is why the heads of hair proffered by the candidates and their running-mates has suddenly become a hot topic in America.
John Kerry, who boasts a full head of hair which deliberately evokes the glamorous locks of John Kennedy, started it all when he picked as his running-mate John Edwards, who also has a boyish haircut. Mr Kerry boasted, only half in jest, that not only did the pair of them have better vision and better ideas than George W. Bush and Dick Cheney but “we’ve got better hair”.
The Republican instant rebuttal team went into overdrive and announced yesterday the results of a poll conducted by Wahl Clipper, suppliers of hair products to barbers. The result? Voters think Mr Bush has better hair than Mr Kerry by a margin of 51 per cent to 31.
Hair has, until the political convention season at least, taken over from national security, healthcare, gay marriage and the War on Terror as the nation’s No 1 concern, giving late-night chat-show hosts something fresh to joke about.
“John Kerry and John Edwards said they plan on spending over $3 million on their campaign this month,” quipped Jay Leno. “And that’s just on hairspray!” “Have you seen their new campaign plane?” he continued. “It’s the Hair Force One!”
Joking aside, as Ronald Reagan realised, hair does offer voters a way of assessing candidates. It has allowed Mr Kerry to throw off his earnest, stone-faced, senatorial stance and crack the sort of gag about himself he makes when among friends.
Mr Kerry first revealed his self-mocking side when recovering from a sprained shoulder sustained after his campaign bus braked suddenly. Asked whether he had fully recovered, Mr Kerry told the radio host Don Imus: “It was a recurrence of an old hair-combing injury.”
Presidential elections have been lost by less substantial physical characteristics than haircuts. Richard Nixon was said to have been defeated by Kennedy in 1960 because, under the glare of the television lights, his six o’clock shadow made him look grim, sinister and untrustworthy. Radio audiences, who could not see Nixon’s nascent beard, thought he had trounced the smooth-faced Kennedy. Kennedy’s extravagant mane has become the model for a winning candidate in the television age. Bill Clinton, who once spent $200 on a haircut by the Hollywood stylist Cristophe while Air Force One idled on the runway in Los Angeles, deliberately coiffed himself to look like the young Kennedy.
Regards, Ivan
Ping!
Now that's funny.
Thanks for the ping! Pair of nitwits, indeed! The Kerry campaign is about as shallow as I've ever seen in my lifetime. "Vote for me. I'm NOT George Bush." Weak as water.
Debate item: hairspray vs. mousse. Which has the better hold?
Is Aquanet REALLY for hair, or is it produced mainly for getting ball-point pen ink out of oxford cloth?
Dippity-Doo, presidential candidates use it too?
Do they go Sassooning?
(Sorry)
My hair reveals Kerry's for the musty polecat skin it is. Can I be President?
What's up with the new 'very dark' side burns on hanoi john? Did he just dye his side burns black and skip the rest of his hair?
Bill Clinton, who once spent $200 on a haircut by the Hollywood stylist Cristophe while Air Force One idled on the runway in Los Angeles, deliberately coiffed himself to look like the young Kennedy.
*****
MadIvan, is this reporter too young to remember Jack Kennedy? I have read a lot of nonsense about Clinton's preoccupation with JFK, but I never thought of unparted,grey, brillo hair as faintly resembling the wavy, parted, preppy hair of Kennedy.
Well Said!
Kerry and Edwards are hair-brained. Or, is that hare-brained?
It didn't work.
bttt
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