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Real Romance: What Marriage Should Be
BreakPoint with Charles Colson ^ | July 9, 2004 | Charles Colson

Posted on 07/09/2004 6:56:16 AM PDT by Mr. Silverback

Some people snort in indignation anytime they hear a story that hints at romance between a husband and a wife. Doesn’t marriage mean an end to romance? The recently released film, The Notebook, says, No.

On one level, it’s easy to dismiss the film as a “big, gooey, over-the-top … chick flick,” as film critic Ann Hornaday called it. But the story, based on a book by Nicholas Sparks, teaches us a lot about what marriage can and should be.

In the film, an old man is seen reading a story of young love to an old woman suffering from Alzheimer’s. In the story, Noah Calhoun, a working-class youth, does everything he can to win the heart of Allie Hamilton, the daughter of a well-to-do family. And the two fall in love, much to her parents’ chagrin.

Then college, World War II, and Allie’s engagement to another man nearly pull them apart—nearly, but not quite. Soon it becomes clear that the old man is reading his own story to his beloved wife Allie. The message of the movie—enduring married love—can’t be missed. “I’ve loved another with all my heart,” he says, “and for me that is enough.” Rather than leave her to go home, he tells his children, “Your mother is my home.” And he stays with her to the end.

Now Noah and Allie aren’t without faults. As we see in the film, before their marriage, while the two are apart, Noah has an affair, and later they consummate their marriage before they say, “I do.” But they nonetheless demonstrate the reality of lasting married love—something we, in an age of hooking up, cohabitation, and no-fault divorce, seem to have forgotten.

A group called Voice Behind, which seeks to show “the good, the true, and the beautiful” in the arts, quoted noted critic Steve Beard who wrote, “The movie is about enduring and passionate love that burns brightly with flames at the outset and ends up graduating to white-hot coals that last a lifetime.”

Rather than fantasizing about romance, Nicholas Sparks based his story on reality: that is, the story of his wife’s grandparents. “It was amazing to me,” he said, “that after 60 years of marriage, these two were treating each other the same as my wife and me after 12 hours of marriage.” Sparks’s Christian faith informs his writing as well. The Notebook, he said, is “a metaphor of God’s love for us all. The theme is everlasting, unconditional love. It also goes into the sanctity of marriage and the beauty you can find in a loving relationship.”

Yet today we find heterosexual romance scoffed at, while gay “marriage” is romanticized. Richard Cohen wrote in The Washington Post that gays “seem to be among the last romantics.” He says that “homosexuals provide the last best argument for marriage: [that is,] love and commitment” and that they may save the institution heterosexuals have trashed. Oh, my.

Well, if marriage needs to be saved—and it does—it will not be saved by sexual relationships in which childbearing, sexual fidelity, and permanence are impossible or optional. It will be saved by the kind of fruitful, faithful, and enduring—even if imperfect—love between a man and a woman, the kind depicted in the movie The Notebook.


TOPICS: Constitution/Conservatism; Culture/Society; Editorial; Front Page News; Government; News/Current Events; Philosophy; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: breakpoint; charlescolson; moviereview; thenotebook
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1 posted on 07/09/2004 6:56:17 AM PDT by Mr. Silverback
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To: agenda_express; BA63; banjo joe; Believer 1; billbears; Blood of Tyrants; ChewedGum; ...
A movie about the brick house.

BreakPoint/Chuck Colson Ping!

If anyone wants on or off my BreakPoint Ping List, please notify me here or by freepmail.

2 posted on 07/09/2004 7:02:00 AM PDT by Mr. Silverback (Get in the fight today: Freepmail me to get on your state's KerryTrack Ping list!)
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To: Mr. Silverback
This is the first I've heard about this movie. I'm assuming that it's new........

I may have to break my self imposed rule that I do not pay to go to a movie.

3 posted on 07/09/2004 7:04:50 AM PDT by Sunshine Sister
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To: Sunshine Sister

I won't break my rule about forking over $8 for a ticket. Maybe I'll check it out if the library gets it on video if reviews are good.


4 posted on 07/09/2004 7:09:06 AM PDT by mtbopfuyn
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To: Bigg Red

mark


5 posted on 07/09/2004 7:10:22 AM PDT by Bigg Red (Never again trust Democrats with national security!)
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To: Mr. Silverback
Well, if marriage needs to be saved—and it does—it will not be saved by sexual relationships in which childbearing, sexual fidelity, and permanence are impossible or optional. It will be saved by the kind of fruitful, faithful, and enduring—even if imperfect—love between a man and a woman...

The truth always stands out, but many are just too blind to see it - or too proud to acknowledge it.

6 posted on 07/09/2004 7:21:12 AM PDT by Ol' Sox
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To: mtbopfuyn

I basically won't be caught dead in the library. (It's run by a bunch of in your face leftists) so I may go to my local video shop (where I'm appreciated) and rent it from them.


7 posted on 07/09/2004 7:26:28 AM PDT by Sunshine Sister
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Comment #8 Removed by Moderator

To: All

Break the $8.00 rule.

Wouldn't you like to bump down F/911 a few pegs ? You get the kind of movies you support so stop whining and cough up the bucks.

And I wonder about neocons. On culture issues they are frankly secularists on the other side. Krauthammer hated "The Passion". And we have Richard Cohen gushing over sodomite marriage.


9 posted on 07/09/2004 7:51:53 AM PDT by Sam the Sham
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To: Mr. Silverback
I read the title and instantly assumed this would be another celebration of John F'n Kerry and John Edwards obvious love for each other. Thank God I was wrong.

(I know what you're thinking, "If you thought it was bad then why did you open it?" Well have you ever slowed down to look at an awful traffic accident? The horror just pulls us in)

10 posted on 07/09/2004 8:18:11 AM PDT by John O (God Save America (Please))
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To: Ol' Sox

Childbearing, fidelity and permanence do not necessarily go together. Infertile marriages can be based on fidelity and permanence. Marriages with children can be plagued with infidelity and divorce.


11 posted on 07/09/2004 8:57:12 AM PDT by ellery (Concentrated power has always been the enemy of liberty. - Ronald Reagan)
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Comment #12 Removed by Moderator

To: mtbopfuyn; Sunshine Sister
I haven't been in a theater since Robin Hood: Men In Tights came out. Blockbuster been very good to me.
13 posted on 07/09/2004 9:05:29 AM PDT by Mr. Silverback (Get in the fight today: Freepmail me to get on your state's KerryTrack Ping list!)
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Comment #14 Removed by Moderator

To: Mr. Silverback

I didn't see any mention of "lap-dances" at the nudie bar...........

are those ok or not?

just wondering..................


15 posted on 07/09/2004 9:07:36 AM PDT by WhiteGuy (Congress shall make no law... abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press...)
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To: Mr. Silverback

I saw Titanic. The last movie before that was the first Speed movie.


16 posted on 07/09/2004 9:08:08 AM PDT by Sunshine Sister
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To: mtbopfuyn

Try the matinee - it's probably $4.


17 posted on 07/09/2004 9:08:29 AM PDT by mountaineer
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To: Sam the Sham
And I wonder about neocons. On culture issues they are frankly secularists on the other side. Krauthammer hated "The Passion". And we have Richard Cohen gushing over sodomite marriage.

For every one of them there's three somebodies like Rich Lowry. Let not your heart be troubled, and don't forget that the head neocon is George W. "Traditional-marriage-rocks" Bush.

18 posted on 07/09/2004 9:09:28 AM PDT by Mr. Silverback (Get in the fight today: Freepmail me to get on your state's KerryTrack Ping list!)
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To: WhiteGuy

No, they're not OK. What was your point, exactly?


19 posted on 07/09/2004 9:14:21 AM PDT by Mr. Silverback (Get in the fight today: Freepmail me to get on your state's KerryTrack Ping list!)
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To: Sunshine Sister

try the book. the movie's ok, but the book you'll remember a long time.


20 posted on 07/09/2004 9:16:08 AM PDT by kallisti
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