Posted on 06/28/2004 12:30:55 PM PDT by dead
BATTLE CREEK, Michigan - Frustrated that the buffet at a party celebrating his movie ran out of food, documentary director Michael Moore took the unusual step of eating himself today.
Astronomers confirmed the bizarre story, noting the presence of the first black hole near the surface of planet earth. Cambridge scientist Stephen Hawking discussed the surprising development, while being beaten by his wife.
“He seems. (Ow!) To have. (Quit it!) Collapsed. In. Upon. (Ow!) Himself. Through self. Digestion. (Ow!) He has. (Ow!) Become a. (Stop it!) Singularity. ”
In a tragic side note, former Vice-President Al Gore was speaking slowly and deliberately with Mr. Moore at the moment his gravitational forces overwhelmed his pressure gradients. This event trapped the one-time presidential candidate in a geosynchronous orbit around the infinitely dense documentarian. Mr. Gore is said to be moving at approximately 60,000 miles per hour, completing over 4,000 revolutions of the black hole per second, while still managing to remain boring.
The news of the gravitational demise of Mr. Moore was greeted with mixed reactions by the nation’s leading politicians.
Upon hearing the news, Democratic Presidential Candidate, John Kerry commented sadly, “I served in Vietnam.”
His wife, Teresa Yogi Bera Simoes-Ferreira Zsa Zsa Gabor al Zarqawi Kerry, was more effusive in her grieving, “Is so sad! A man so rich died before either John or I could marry him. I wish I was a dog.”
President Bush did not apparently share the Kerrys’ pain over the news. “I’m sure not going to miss that major league a##hole,” he commented. “How about you, Dick?”
“No f#*king way!” laughed Vice-President Cheney.
"Have an after dinner mint. It's waffa thin."
Great cosmolgical lesson! The Democrat "Multi-verse".
I never would have understood this phenomenon without the illustration. Thanks for the clarification.
wow ...he did it before though...
Breaking!!!Michael Moore has just Swallowed Himself
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1137383/posts
Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-do
I have a perfect puzzle for you
Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-dee
If you are wise, you'll listen to me
What do you get when you guzzle down sweets?
Eating as much as an elephant eats
What are you at getting terribly fat?
What do you think will come of that?
I don't like the look of it
Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-da
If you're not greedy, you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-do
Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-do
I have another puzzle for you
Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-da-dee
If you are wise, you'll listen to me
Gum chewing's fine when it's once in a while
It stops you from smoking and brightens your smile
But it's repulsive, revolting, and wrong
Chewing and chewing all day long
The way that a cow does
Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-da
Given good manners, you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-do
Couldnt resist he he he
Oh man that is funny!!
FAT-N-HYPE 9/11
He reached "critical a*s"!
"Moore is so fat that when he hauls a$$ it takes two trips."
LOL may I use that in my tagline?
Which one of those is Dashle?
Man, I can't believe thought of something so stupid before I did! They didn't think of the black hole angle though!
Just for the record, Al Gore is not drawn to scale.
All of them they are French German Clones!
Being the thinker I believe I could..........
They didn't think of the black hole angle though!
Yea, you're right, I wasnt stupid enough for that.....
It's official! I'm the stupidest! 8-)
P.S. don't click if you easily offend.
LOL!! On another forum I go to someone started referring to him as PTH, for Pizza the Hut!
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