Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Always Make a Wealthy Woman Your Wife (via Mark Steyn's Mailbag)
Mark Steyn's Mailbag ^ | Current Mailbag | Kevin Corrington

Posted on 06/24/2004 3:12:49 PM PDT by Kiss Me Hardy

ALWAYS MAKE A WEALTHY WOMAN YOUR WIFE The Kerry Marry-Go-Round [Tune: "Never Make a Pretty Woman Your Wife"]

[Chorus] If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, Better make a wealthy woman your wife, Now, from your bottom-line point of view, Get a wealthy woman to marry you!

[Verse] Te-RAY-za's got all the dough you could seek-- She's a golddigger from Mozambique, Inherited money like you've never seen, When she became the Heinz Ketchup Queen!

When Johnny got a look at those condiments, It became a matter of dollars and cents, Eyes fixed firmly on Te-RAY-za's jack, Johnny dumped his first wife and never looked back!

[Chorus] Even though you live like a parasite, You gotta make a wealthy woman your wife, Life in the fast lane, never the slow, Just the ticket for a Gigolo!

[Verse] His Sugar Momma be payin' JoKe's bills, Bought him a mansion on Beacon Hill, Jammin' all over in the social swirl, Estate-to-villa in "The Flying Squirrel"!

Don't care how much gas it consumes, Long as she pays for those high-end rooms, JoKe's entitled to the creme de la creme, Te-RAY-za's a bottomless ATM!

[Chorus] You can prosper in your political life, When you've made a wealthy woman your wife, Whether your polls be down or be up, Your security's in the pre-nup!

[Verse] Chateaubriand, and not ground chuck, A Rolls Corniche, and not a pickup truck, Brooks Brothers suits and Gucci shoes, Vintage wines and expensive booze!

A lifetime supply of the best Botox, The wife's deposits rival those in Ft. Knox, And while you're tellin' voters who you are, Have some Beluga caviar!

[Chorus] You can stay in office your whole life, If you make a wealthy woman your wife, In every election imbroglio, You can leech off her portfolio!

[Verse] It's well worth being viewed as a louse, If Te-RAY-za's boodle buys the White House, You'll come out smellin' like a bloomin' rose, Just ignore the skunk wearin' your clothes!

C'est la vie if Te-RAY-za's a witch, Whadda you care? She's drop-dead rich! Don't matter if she's shallow and vain, It could be Hillary yankin' your chain!

[Chorus] If you don't mind bein' a low-life, Always make a wealthy woman your wife, Get on her lifetime, no-pay plan, You'll be an aging, but well-kept, man!

[Chorus, to fade] If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, Better make a wealthy woman your wife, Now, from your bottom-line point of view, Get a wealthy woman to marry you!....

Kevin Corrington Carmichael, California


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: bostongigolo; gigolo; horsefacedhehooker; kerry; teresaheinz
Too good not share, and Mark's rhyming readers have contributed a wealth of aditional gems at the above address.
1 posted on 06/24/2004 3:12:49 PM PDT by Kiss Me Hardy
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: Kiss Me Hardy

sorry, I should have put some of those BR thingies in.


2 posted on 06/24/2004 3:13:59 PM PDT by Kiss Me Hardy
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: doug from upland; Mudboy Slim

The "great Steyn is mimicing you both...


3 posted on 06/24/2004 3:15:14 PM PDT by ken5050 (Ann Coulter needs to have children ASAP to propagate her gene pool...any volunteers?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kiss Me Hardy; doug from upland

Lol, is this your work DFU?

Whoever did it, did a good job :-)


4 posted on 06/24/2004 3:22:01 PM PDT by TheSpottedOwl ("In the Kingdom of the Deluded, the Most Outrageous Liar is King".)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kiss Me Hardy
The original song is If You Wanna Be Happy by Jimmy Soul.
5 posted on 06/24/2004 3:31:04 PM PDT by pookie18
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kiss Me Hardy

Beautiful!


6 posted on 06/24/2004 3:32:59 PM PDT by Mr. Buzzcut
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kiss Me Hardy
Never Make a Pretty Woman Your Wife

An old saying" A pretty girl doesn't have to do anything. An ugly one has to do everything.

7 posted on 06/24/2004 3:34:47 PM PDT by boothead
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kiss Me Hardy

Now, there's an old song that says:
"If you wanna be happy for the rest o' your life
find an ugly woman and make her your wife."

Seems like JFK wins on both counts.


8 posted on 06/24/2004 3:40:21 PM PDT by no dems (Does the Bush/Cheney camp monitor the Freep website?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kiss Me Hardy

Steyn bump


9 posted on 06/24/2004 3:51:33 PM PDT by Clique
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kiss Me Hardy
"JoKe".

Good one.

10 posted on 06/24/2004 3:54:32 PM PDT by Chairman Fred (@mousiedung.commie)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kiss Me Hardy

LOL. That is great!


11 posted on 06/24/2004 3:54:47 PM PDT by Samwise (I posted this tagline "because I could.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kiss Me Hardy; ken5050

Has Mr. Steyn put it to music yet?! It ain't nothin' but a poem until he does...MUD


12 posted on 06/24/2004 4:05:56 PM PDT by Mudboy Slim (RE-IMPEACH Osama bil Clinton!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kiss Me Hardy

Styne didn't do this. It's not very clever. Does it come from a bb that he supports?


13 posted on 06/24/2004 6:50:41 PM PDT by speekinout
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: speekinout

I thought it was pretty funny, actually. It's from the letters page at his web site.


14 posted on 06/24/2004 8:07:52 PM PDT by Kiss Me Hardy
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: Kiss Me Hardy

Extremely funny... where's Paul Shanklin when you need him?


15 posted on 06/26/2004 10:58:57 AM PDT by Starve The Beast (I used to be disgusted, but now I try to be amused)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson