Is it OK to attend the funeral?

6-23-04 | Paradox

[KeyWest]

We are a community of people. I see nothing wrong in attending.

I am reminded of John Donne- for whom the bell tolls...

And when she buries a man, that action concerns me: all mankind is of one author, and is one volume; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language; and every chapter must be so translated; God employs several translators; some pieces are translated by age, some by sickness, some by war, some by justice; but God's hand is in every translation, and his hand shall bind up all our scattered leaves again for that library where every book shall lie open to one another.

[Izzy Dunne]

Call a press conference and announce that you are very disappointed that you have not been invited to speak the eulogy, and that you had hoped for a more bipartisan sho....

Oh, wait. You're NOT Bill Clinton, are you?

[DoughtyOne]

Slip in and slip out. If asked, you could explain, express your sadness over the loss of this person and that you felt compelled to attend the services for your own closure. Keep it as brief and lite as possible.

I do want you to take the family's views into consideration here, with one regard.. If it was clear you couldn't do anything, they may appreciate your attempts to help very much. However, in today's society, who's to know what goes through the heads of some people.

Thanks for trying to help. I would appreciate that if it were my relative. I think you did the right thing.

[Old Professer]

The fact you question your motive ought to lead you to the answer.

[Jalapeno]

This person affected your life.

Funerals are for the living.

[sinkspur]

It would make it much easier for the dem ambulance chasing plantiff's attorney that the family has hired to sue you and your insurance company (especially if are trained to provide emergency care/aid) to deliver papers to you. Are you in a state with a Good Samaritan Law?

What a ridiculous, thoughtless post.

Do you even think before you post?

[Old Professer]

There is no human manifestation of mercy for the dead.

[Aracelis]

If this had happened to a member of my family, I would be comforted by your presence. I suggest you go.

[HungarianGypsy]

when my dad was killed ten years ago I remember a lady showing up during the visitation with her husband and son. she stepped forward to the casket and paid her respects. since I was surrounded at the time I never got a chance to ask who she was, and still wonder, but had no problem with it. although it still has my curiousity peaked all these years later.

[xrp]

Dunno, I've never been to a funeral, actually. I certainly wouldn't turn on my headlights and start following the hearse, that's for sure.

[netmilsmom]

I think that is lovely of you.

[wmichgrad]

I agree whole heartedly with JZoback. By your actions you became part of this person's life. If this is what you feel you need to do, then your presence at the funeral will help you as well as the family.

[sinkspur]

Dunno, I've never been to a funeral, actually

Well, when I worked in a funeral home in college, even 30 years ago, every family I ever worked with appreciated anyone who came to a funeral, even if they didn't know them.

And, unlike some who fear this on this thread, I never saw a family member ask a stranger who they were or why they were there.

[Old Professer]

There are people who hang out at the cemetery similar to the courthouse crowd and the benchwarmers at the mall.

[alisasny]

I would think the family may want to speak with you. Are they having a wake at funeral home? Contact the undertaker handeling these services and ask his advice. He can then decide to tell the family or not about your request and will call you back.

[thoughtomator]

I don't see anything wrong with attending the funeral. I think it's the right thing to do, especially if you feel moved in your heart to do so. What could possibly be wrong with paying respect to the dead?

[MainFrame65]

It is my belief that virtually any person can attend any funeral, unless your presence would be truly offensive to the immediate family, which would only be true if you had offended a family member in a way that would preclude ordinary courtesy. I know that a bitter business rival came to my Father's funeral to pay respects, and was greeted warmly by my Mother, who thanked him for coming.

[knarf]

"Is that a decent thing to do, or does that just smack of people trying to, you know, "feel your payne" kind of thing."

Go, say nothing ... pray for the family and thank God that He allowed you to be a part.

God honors those whom don't care to take any credit for acts of kindness and goodness. (Remember the Samaritan)

[6323cd]

I agree; I don't see anything inappropriate in attending the funeral.

[NonValueAdded]

I think it is a nice and thoughtful gesture ... just be careful that they don't use the opportunity to serve you with papers for your "role" in the death of their loved one. (And what sad commentary that is - makes you wonder why Fonda-Kerry would consider an ambulance chaser for a running mate).